Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Man to Man

I never expected Dear Abby would supply so many topics for this blog. This is a completely new one on me. A couple has been friends with a guy for 30 years. In the last year, or so, he's taken to making a complete mess in the bathroom when he visits; piss all over the toilet, puddles on the floor, then he steps in it and tracks it all over the house.
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Now, okay...I get that this is a fetish thing for some. The recent reports about The Orange One in the Oval Office even brought it to public conscience once again.
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Anyway, the wife wants her husband to talk to this friend and tell him to straighten up - or don't visit anymore. The husband doesn't want to. Dude - this is a guy's conversation. Man up, and talk to this friend; it might be a new PA he hasn't yet learned to control
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or a medical issue, such as a recent malleable implant making it difficult to hit the mark.
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Whatever it is, you need to tell him to either clean up after himself
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or go out and piss in the yard.
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Trust me - if you want to remain friends with this man, do not make your wife have this conversation with him.
Men should be able to have a Man-to-Man about these things.
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Guys - would you be afraid to have such a personal discussion with a life-long friend?

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Frozen Peas and Jock Straps

"Oh, my aching balls!" - Those were my exact words to a buddy of mine when I called him for advice. He's a roaming Forensic Pathologist; he fills in when Medical Examiners take vacations. The Varicoceles (essentially, varicose veins of the balls) were flaring. I was quite beside myself. I figured if he didn't know what to suggest to help until I got in to the Urologist, no one would.
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"Do you have any peas in your freezer? Lay down, elevate your legs with pillows and put the peas on your groin.  When the swelling goes down, put on a jock strap, dude. A street jock, or light support jock strap. There are little tiny valves along the vessels to your balls. When they don't operate right, the blood has a tough time moving through. Gravity is working against you here, causing added pressure."
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Well, I didn't have a jock. Out to the sporting good store I went. Have you ever seen the sheer number of styles available? Holy crap!
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I finally had to ask for help. He didn't hesitate and pulled one from the rack, "This is what I wear every day."
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Between the frozen peas, and the jock strap: Sweet relief! The Ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow; we'll see just how much worse these things have gotten over the years since the last urologist told me to "learn to live with the pain." I wanted to say, "Fuck you!" I sighed and nodded and he walked out of the exam room. 
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The next time I see a dude at the day spa wearing a jock strap I won't question it.
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Monday, February 20, 2017

She's Come to Accept It

A trip to a small, locally owned store over the weekend, and asking for the owner, who loves to joke around, one of the employees says, "He's in the back...looking for his manhood."
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Ha! There's no looking about it. Guys always find it. We love finding it! To which the owner walks into the lobby, laughing. He adds, "I found it, no problem." He reaches out to shake hands, pulls his back. "Wait, I need to wash off the cum." Then blows me a kiss instead. Meanwhile, his wife is behind the counter laughing and adding her two cents.
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We've been joking around like that from the first day we met when he asked me what I did with my time, and my response was, "I lay around jacking off."
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We've had serious conversations about it, too. He hadn't been married when we met - only engaged. On another trip in shortly after the first he asked, "Why do our women get all upset when they find out we still masturbate?" 

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"I think it's that they wonder why they aren't enough. But, at the same time, they'd complain about us always wanting to fuck if we didn't jerk off on a regular basis."
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Now that they've been married for a while, I think she's come to accept it.
Guys jack off. A lot. Regardless of age. It's a fact of life.
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But, really, only a woman can answer the question properly. Ladies???

Friday, February 17, 2017

The Sexiest People Read (Naked)

 Sexy people read.
Sexier people read naked.












My buddy's second book gets released today by the publisher. If you read the first - you did, didn't you? - and enjoyed it (we hope so), this one is a bit darker but still a lot of fun. There's a surprise "guest appearance" by a famous designer.
"Jenna's cold feet at her impending nuptials are only part of the problem.  Ignoring all warnings about interfering with the living world, Jenna resumes her work with victims of abuse. If she can't convince the World Council of Keepers that killing a young man was an accident, she could end up deader than dead.  With the help of Deadheads old and new, a plan is hatched to defend her actions. Will Jenna survive and marry Marvin, or will the council halt her deader in her tracks?"
Right now, you can get the e-book direct from the publisher
on special Release Sale for $2.50 for the next few days
From AMAZON for $4.99
Even from GOOGLE PLAY for $3.82
The writing is better in this one; tighter.

Help a struggling author and get a copy. And enjoy your weekend Reading Naked