"I've been following your blog for a couple of years now. As a woman I can't tell you how much I've learned about guys. Thanks for supplying such great information. I recently told my brother he should log on and read because during a talk he admitted he's strictly solo. He doesn't even date and insists he's not one of those incel guys. He just prefers jerking off. The problem is our parents bug him about getting married and having kids and then they whine to me that it's not happening. I'm getting fed up with listening to them and want to explain the situation but don't really know how. Any suggestions?"
My first and biggest suggestion is: Don't.
Not a word.
If your brother ever decides to tell them, he will. Though, in all reality, it's none of their business what he does with his cock. Beside that, you never know - someday he may change his mind about partner sex.
I once had a good friend say, "Jacking off is really the best because no one can do you like you do you." But that isn't necessarily 100% accurate, either. Humans are pretty good at learning. If you can teach someone how to, I don't know...say, type or play piano, you can certainly teach someone how to handle a hard-on.
What you may want to do, instead, is tell him to read the posts here on mutual masturbation. Sex therapists prescribe it for couples as a means of learning what their partner likes, what feels good to them, what leaves them satisfied. But the core lesson is learning how to communicate those things. If he is with an understanding partner, someone who is GGG (as Dan Savage says) Good, Giving, and Game), he just might move past solo masturbation.
But, beyond that, there are a whole lot of people who really do prefer jacking off. They've explored other activities and decided that, for them, going solo is the right fit. Who are we to argue?
13 comments:
She should just say to the parents that it's none of their business.
The sister should not tell the parents anything her brother said about his sex life. It is not her story to tell. Instead, she should encourage her brother to find some way to tell their parents to butt out. What he does with his genitals is his business, not theirs. After all, there is no law requiring him to have kids, and it might not be possible for him to father kids.
The parents need to leave the son alone. Ugh.
He's not a baby machine. Marriage is not the end destination for many people.
Also, what if he's Asexual?
XOXO
love your wisdom
Do not share your brothers confidence. You will lose him as a confidant.It is none of their business. Tell them it's none of either of our business. Do your parents want to discuss their sex life?
Perhaps the brother is really gay and isn't secure enough to let his family know.
--PaulMmn
The fact to refuse to interfere in his brother's business which concern and are the responsibility of him alone is probably the best solution.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a wondrous weekend.
All great advice from everybody. Stay out of it. My advice, His parents think getting married will make him happier, and it's actually just the reverse, he has to be happy first before he can help make anyone else happy.
Happy Friday, hugs and bisous.
Hello Pat....I just saw your comment about my comments section. What's going on? You know a blogger musty have the comments section working.
I made some posts ahead after I was invited by an ex to join him in Vegas for a few days. You know me...ready to enjoy some sun with a f*ck buddy from the past! LOL! We are still really close and I have a great time. But I have been away a few days and I have noticed that there is a different screen for even my comments than before. Any feedback is appreciated. Hugs!
Reading the blog again, I get the feeling the mom and dad are looking at their son as a way to continue the family line; keep the family name going.
This is a lousy reason to get married. Even if you're the scion of one of the Royal Houses of Europe!
--PaulMmn
@ Gabriel - I was really concerned you would think people had simply stopped leaving comments. I wonder if you can change to this "pop-up" version Rick and I use.... Other than that, send a Help question to Blogger. It sure is bizarre. I would absolutely hate it if folks couldn't leave comments. Hugs, bro!
P.S. Hope you had a great time!
Sex with a partner adds a different dimension to sex that I can't quite describe, however it is also a hassle dealing with someone elses needs (and baggage and character and habits) and getting them to deal with yours: the two sometimes cancel each other out or one becomes greater than the other, but it depends on the partner. Often it is just easier not to bother, but it's always up to the individual what they do with their junk, keeping in mind health indications of course.
Even going solo, most men don't leverage their full erotic potential: there's actually more in store for men than simply jerking off. However, society has done a good job of conditioning men to homophobia and other taboos to even try. To counter this I say that when men masturbate, it's a mans hand touching them and a man's junk they are touching; and nothing men do is feminine. Check out the Aneros Forum for an exploration of prostate mediated multiple orgasms as one possibility: it was started by heterosexual men I believe.
It's possible to be a latent homosexual and not realise it, because society has traditionally so villified that practice that it doesn't appear as an option and is thus suppressed, whilst the individual also not being sexually attracted to women, leaving a kind of nothingness in the partner space and only masturbation as a viable option. There's nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to men and not women, or being attracted to both, so if that is the reason for going solo only, know that it is okay to explore other possibilities. Try watching bisexual porn and homosexual porn and see how you feel and don't be afraid if you like it or start wondering what it is like being on the receiving end: it's not feminine to be curious about different sensations, because its a mans body. It's okay to focus on the guy regardless of your orientation, many men do because they can identify with what he is feeling regardless of who or what is creating those sensations. There's also nothing wrong with going solo if that is what you feel most comfortable with: it's your life to live and experience as you want after all.
As much as parents might want to relive their lives again vicariously through their children, it is the "childs" right to live their adult life as they see fit: parents have already had their chance which included choosing to have children. If you don't want children, or a relationship with someone, thats perfectly fine too: someone else will take up the challenge and keeping humanity going is not your responsibility or obligation.
It's okay to do you and its okay to be curious about what other experiences might be available and to explore them as much as you wish.
"He's happy alone. You want him to be happy? Then leave him alone."
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