Wednesday, December 7, 2011

New Years is Cumming


"Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love." - Woody Allen



Well, I certainly hope you love yourself, and the cock in your life – be it your own or the one next to you, standing up nice and tall and proud.



I started to think about New Year’s resolutions. Why, I don’t know – I don’t make them anymore because I never kept them! But I got to thinking about how many men don’t pay close enough attention when their dicks are talking to them. Oh, no, I don’t mean when it’s straining to get out of the cloth prison it’s caged in, itching for some attention. That I think we all pay attention then – I mean, how can we not when it just won’t leave us alone until we’ve stroked out a nice big load?

I mean listening to it when it’s trying to tell you there might be something amiss somewhere. How many of you have gone in for that annual physical and not had a discussion about how Little Dickie has been behaving? How many times do you see a doctor and he never bothered to ask if your cock was cooperating, if your man-berries are balking?

I can count on the one finger I use to tease my frenulum when I’m having a nice, slow stroke-off the number of doctors I’ve seen over the years who’ve asked me during a regular visit if my boners were good enough to put to use, if I was getting horny on a regular basis, and asked about my balls. This guy is a keeper. He understands the importance of a good stiff pecker, the importance of waking up with a boner and the number of hard-on’s and semi’s per day, and the importance of the interest in getting my rocks off on a regular basis.




Listening to your dick is one of the most important things you guys could do. Flagging erections could be an indicator of other, perhaps serious problems. Don’t ignore perpetual soft-off’s (as we used to call them in the military) the same way you don’t ignore your dick when it’s raging, throbbing hard.





So, I want you to make a resolution…When you go for that annual physical, if he doesn’t ask you if your cock is functioning up to snuff (pun intended), you broach the subject. It doesn’t matter if all you say is “Things are going well; I still wake up hard every morning,” because, that is just as important to establishing a baseline of your overall health as taking your blood pressure. If you need something to trigger your memory to ask, how about when your pants are down around your ankles and he’s got your nuts in his hands? Or when he’s got a finger up your ass to check your prostate?
  

If your doctor hems and haws in answering any of your questions when it comes to your dick, or your balls, it’s time to find a new doctor. I’ve found the younger a physician is, the more apt he is to feel perfectly comfortable in discussing the satisfactory functioning of your fuck stick. The ability to get it up and get our rocks off not only has an effect on our physical health, but our mental health as well.

Don’t dick around when it comes to your dick and your ability to enjoy it.

6 comments:

Ed said...

Right-on advice! How your cock is functioning is an early-warning signal (canary in the coalmine) that something is seriously amiss.

In my case it was a hormonal dropout due to an autoimmune condition (celiac disease). No doctor I ever saw asked me how my cock was functioning. The additional problem I ran into is that very few doctors understand the details of proper hormone therapy. Doctors who go straight to testosterone, without checking other things like thyroid & adrenal hormones, can end up wasting your time. Not to mention your money, cuz they always get paid no matter the outcome. :(

LORDPATRICK said...

Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for medicinal help if necessary!

Queer Heaven said...

A great and very important post today! I sure hope all your readers listen to you and make sure Dat Da Dick is working good and feeling happy!

jackerbudchgo said...

mine asks regularly - as well as about masturbation.

whkattk said...

@jackerbudchgo - You've got a real keeper there! Hang on to that doctor, for sure.

Anonymous said...

I just can not imagine with strong your blog greatly that helped me. God bless you “Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” - Bill Cosby