Put the bat away until you check the balls! You didn't really think I was going to let you off the hook just because we're celebrating Masturbation Month, did you???
Not a chance, boys! Ignore that boner!!
Now get busy - check those balls over really well. Feel anything unusual - make that call to the doctor for an appointment and have them checked out by a real balls expert!
Then you must call, text, message, post to Facebook and forums and bulletin boards - or communicate by any means necessary - to tell the males in your life and make them promise to do the same.
Done? Good. Now you can go on about celebrating Masturbation Month and lovingly stroke your cock until you empty the balls you just checked.