A Bit Perplexed

 

The publisher rejected my novella. Well, not entirely. They asked for some changes that leave me a bit perplexed. See, they want a whole bunch of "had" embedded in the prose. "He'd had..." When they had had..." "Flagg had..."

That's what editors and publishers want when they think their readers are too stupid to follow a story which contains flashbacks. 

I'm struggling with whether to acquiesce.

Here's the opening of Chapter 3. (Blue is the end of Chapter 2, to get you oriented.)

Deven married? I couldn’t fathom that. He liked playing the field as it were. I suppose there may have been an ex-girlfriend. But how many one-nighters ago would that have been? Certainly before he moved in there, or I would’ve noticed. I think.

But his behavior at the Woods that first night might be an indication someone discovered a side of Deven she didn’t like.

Chapter 3

We had a great afternoon at the lake. Lot’s of swimming, sunning, laughing. More and more men arrived. The beach filled up. The supplied cooler with iced water and sports drinks emptied. Somewhere along the way it occurred to me that this whole naked in nature thing made me feel…free. Like I finally understood that a penis isn’t something shameful, and realized what it meant to be proud instead. ‘Course, at age thirty-eight, it took long enough, didn’t it?

At one point, two brothers showed up. The Twins as everyone called them were a sight to behold: In their mid-forties, slim and tanned, with the longest, thickest cocks and the biggest low-hanging balls I’d ever seen in my life. They were like overripe peaches weighing down toward the ground. One carried a volley ball, pointed to the net situated near the water’s edge and asked for a game. I bowed out. What could be better than sitting on the sidelines and watching all that delicious heavy meat bobbing and swaying. That alone would be worth the price of admission. As the game progressed, I started to wince, and my knees pulled together, thinking about the bruising those balls took. At one point, I asked who these guys were and how to tell them apart.

“The one with the gold barbell nipple piercings is Alan. The silver is Alec.”

“Are they, you know, together?”

“Of course,” came the answer as if to say only an idiot wouldn’t know that. I couldn’t imagine anyone else willing to tackle those rods. Man or woman. I knew two brothers in high school who jerked off together all the time, but never knew that “twincest” was a real thing.

There were the expected trips to the trees to piss. Or for what they thought were the surreptitious blow jobs or ass poundings. I mean, it was a clothing optional and, obviously, very gay resort. Besides the fact grunting and moaning gave them away.

I got lots of backstory on most of the guys. But not a word about Deven. It was like my neighbor had warned them to secrecy or some shit. It made me wonder, again, why he would be here. Other than he couldn’t find any women willing to give him the occasional treat of allowing him to plow their butts. Maybe he couldn’t get blow jobs either, but that was doubtful. As the sun lowered, someone slapped at a mosquito and declared it time to head back to the Lodge. We walked as a group, mostly silent. The glances my way didn’t go unnoticed by Deven.

Each time one of the guys moved in my direction, Deven would slide into their approach path. I’m not sure what he thought he was protecting me from. But, he’d say, “Distance! Covid, you know.” And any interloper would stray back to his own lane.

We donned fresh shirts but no pants for dinner. We found clean towels placed on the seat of every chair at the dining tables, and a line of pre-served dinners on the buffet. And despite the late hour, for me anyway, wisps of steam rose from the plates. Veal Picata, au gratin potatoes, green beans drizzled with butter and dusted with Parmesan. Healthy-sized wedges of cheesecake for dessert. Tracy called this a Boxed Meal? I don’t know how much a week here cost but Tracy knew how to keep guests happy.

Every bite brought a mini orgasm to the tastebuds. Deven retrieved a bottle of white pinot and we shared it around the table with our dining partners, Mitchell and Nick. The bear pair who both turned out to be even more personable and even funnier than they’d been during the afternoon at the lake.

A set of double doors led out behind the building. A large patio, candles graced a few highboy tables, party lights strung from the rafters, tiny twinkling lights adorned the perimeter shrubbery and brought lightning bugs to mind. Gloria Gaynor suddenly blared from hidden speakers suggesting we’d survive while disco lights flashed. This place had it all.

I stood at a table nursing a cold beer, happy to be watching the crowd. Deven nudged me and jutted his chin toward the dance floor. “Can’t,” I responded, leaning in to his ear and still feeling the need to yell. “Bum knee,” I lied. I couldn’t dance a lick. Seriously. Whenever I tried, I flopped around like a fish on the bottom of a boat.

He disappeared for a few minutes, then grabbed my forearm and tugged. A heavy sigh escaped me as I allowed myself to be pulled along. By the time we hit the floor, the music had changed to a ballad. He swept me into his arms, pulled me close, and proceeded to grind a naked thigh into my cock. Surprise number, what? I think I’d already lost track of unexpected things.

It took all of ten seconds for my boner to appear and his was close behind. He grabbed my ass with both hands and tugged. Fairly well matched in height, our hard shafts found each other. As the precum flowed, slippery cock played with slippery cock. I glanced around afraid others would notice. Turned out to be wrong. They were all paired up, swaying away.

So, okay, there was no denying how great it felt to be that close to another body again, to feel the hardness of another dick, after so many months of jacking off to porn. I wanted it to go on for hours. At the same time, if it did, I’d cum right there on the dance floor. If that’s what Deven had in mind he was about to succeed. When the music changed again to the thump-thump-thump club beat, he wrapped a hand around my shaft and, using it like some kind of leash, led me back to our table.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Parts,” I said taking a moment to glance down at his hard-on. If more fun with those parts was on the horizon, then absolutely.

So, what do you think? Do you need "had" to know where the story timeline is?

(If you click the 'novella' tag you should be able to read from the beginning.)