"I hope you can settle an argument for us. Our son want to try out for junior varsity football next month. My wife is dead set against this and I think he should do it. He's a bit on the chunky side and I think that would make him pretty good and the exercise would be good for him and give him some structure in his life, First she used his weight as her excuse but when I pressed her with my argument she finally admitted her problem was that his weight will be a source of ridicule in the locker room. Pressing further she admitted it was strictly the nudity with other boys. She doesn't think he could handle it. I call bullshit and say he'd learn how to handle it and if he can't he can quit. Who's right?"
I am not a fan of football because of the dangers of concussion. Particularly in the young guys. Too many kids get knocked too many times and end up never being able to play again. But that doesn't address your argument, does it?
If he's going to be with a football team there won't be any ridicule of his body. Any linemen are better with some bulk and, chances are, some of the kids will be jealous that he's built for it.
The issue of nudity is a problem for many parents, I guess. It's why so many Physical Education (PE) programs have become an "opt out." Some schools, which still require PE, don't require the kids to shower afterward.
I don't know what they think is going to happen. Teaching kids to be comfortable in their own bodies is important. They have nothing the others don't have, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. 
Plus, with so many guys taking dick pics, I wouldn't be surprised if your son isn't among them. As Chris Hayes once said, "Let's be honest, it's far from unusual anymore."
So, as much as I hate to, I'm going to come down on your side of this argument. But let's ask for other opinions.
Readers?
22 comments:
Like the dad said: Try it, and if it becomes an issue for the kid, he can quit.
I call bullshit too. If the kid is already in gym class, which is mandatory in most schools, he's already seen nakedness in the showers after class. Showers were mandatory in our high school.
Besides... why begrudge a slightly chunky kid who wants to play and give himself some exercise? That's a good thing.
Mom's fears are real (to her)-- mostly because most kids nowadays haven't been 'exposed' to group nudity. Showers after gym class have become 'optional--' smear on some deodorant and off to class!
I think dad's logic is the right way to approach this issue.
Most guys have already been naked with other guys-- does Jr. have a friend he's played with, hikes in the woods and stopping to take a leak? And comparing sizes, talking about jerking off, maybe jerking off together and maybe trading hands?
In the locker room there's always someone in better shape than you are, always someone with a longer cock. Chances are the son will be 'average' in both categories.
There's nothing quite like getting naked with a bunch of guys! You find out that you're not really that different from anyone else. And, yes, someone will stand out with the best body or the longest piece of meat. Those are the breaks! (:
I remember one of my first experiences being naked with a group. Our Boy Scout troop had a swim night at the local YMCA. I wasn't going to go because you had to bring 50 cents, soap, towel, and bathing suit. And you had to shower before and after. It was the showering that gave me pause. Dad said I should go anyway; he was one of the fathers driving. I went, and the shower was no big deal. A bunch of guys and fathers stripping down, showering, and putting on bathing suits. One of life's non-events!
--PaulMmn
Man's right, period. 👍🏻😉
Gotta try new things in life & be open-minded. If you ask me, that's the motto you gotta have if you seek a fun & sweet life! 🤷♂️😛
hello?
They need to ask their SON. He's the one who's going to be playing the sport. It's all about what the mother and the father want for their son, not the son choosing a sport to be active.
They should ask the kid what sport he'd prefer and also if he's in any way weary of nudity in the locker room. Duh
XOXO
Again this man doesn't tell us the age of his son.
I would agree with him to let his son, if this is his own will, to play on a football team.
Bulky big bodies are more than welcome on defensive side of the team and footballer are used to see such big bodies around.
My only concern would be more over him having to face head injuries which can be bad and let him with many years of hillness.
I think their son must try to have this experience if he wants it. They should only tell him not to fail to point out to them anything that may displease him and that then they will put an end to this inconvenience, even to the experience if necessary.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
My first thought would be that if your son is willing to be part of a team - football, science experiment, a musical quartet, whatever... - then the both of you should support his enthousiasm, however long it lasts.
As for the locker rooms and the nudity that comes along? Come on! This is no satire reunion, not even a nudist camping. Just students showering and changing clothes.
Your wife may not feel comfortable with her appearance, and if so help her dealing with it. But she definitely should not reflect her own fears on your son, especially when he shows the willing to participate to his friends' activities.
To put it short: let your son try the thing, and let him be the judge of how worthy and beneficial it is to him.
Maybe dad could see if the son is willing to go to the gym with him? That way the dad can see how his son feels about it and normalize male nudity with him
I'm not sure I understand the argument. If the kid wants to try out for football, let him try out.
The other issues seem to be the parents' insecurities and concerns. What does the kid think? how about we stop projecting issues there related to perceived weight and insecurity, and talk to him about it?
The question about the young man's weight being an issue is moot. Bulk on an American Football player is a good thing. It will NOT ba an issue for the guy!
It’s always the guys with the average to large flaccid dicks who think it’s peachy being nude in a group of men in the locker room. Unfortunately as men, we are judged by the size of our equipment…rightly or wrongly, big junk means your a real man and a stud in the sack. For us men who look like a 14 year old boy flaccid, the locker room is the last place on this earth we would like to be. I have spent years avoiding any sort of nudity, sabotaged sporting careers to avoid locker rooms, hate using urinals, dread having to see doctors and I believe my low self esteem has affected my marriage of 30 years. I don’t like being nude in front of my wife except if I’m hard because hard I’m average size, and going around the locker room erect definitely isn’t going to happen and is far from acceptable. I avoided any nudity with my father and have never been nude in front of my son. At 53 years of age, I look in the mirror and while I work out and have a good athletic body, I hate what I see between my legs and in winter the shrinkage sucks. Sometime I just think fuck it…why am I letting this affect my life, I have what I have and it is what it is….but there is always the shame.
So the locker room can be a scary place for many reasons, and I think a young man should be prepared for what he may see, have a discussion with your son so he knows what to expect and whether he’s chunky, athletic, small, large or average, he’s a good person, a good man and your proud of him.
If you have taught your son that the human body is shameful, then of course there are going to be issues around nudity in locker rooms. The answer isn't to avoid those environments, but to counter the previous teaching and also build confidence and resilliance to insults that will invariably happen.
I think this is an ideal opportunity for Dad to get involved in ensuring his son has no hangups around nudity and natural male body processes.
Everyone can do with extra training in learning to treat insults like water off a drakes back. Since it is our brain doing the interpretation, we just need to take a different perspective and interpret what someone says as telling us about them and not about us personally. Everything is relative anyway, so statements like "you are fat" are kind of meaningless.
Teach your sons to accept how they are in the present: eventually, they will choose to change for their own reasons. Forcing someone to change takes away their sense of control over their life and is likely to result in sabotage and misery and not the outcome that was desired.
I’m glad I grew up when locker room nudity was normal and ok. And at my high school (all boys) everyone had to do some sports, PE classes were obligatory, as was showering afterwards. No big deal! Some guys were skinny and some chunky, some good at sports, and some not, but we all got used to being naked around each other. The biggest deal was whether a guy was circumcised or not (most were, but the occasional European or Latino wasn’t), but even with that, it was “we are all different, but all really the same.” I’m also glad I grew up when no one had cell phones with cameras! (I was always the first to get naked, and the last to get dressed!) Let me encourage this kid to play sports, the exercise at least will be good for him.
@ JiEL - Junior Varsity in the US generally means 8th or 9th grade, so the kid is old enough to be exposed to group nudity.
@ Six - I think the kid has asked to play football. I wouldn't want a son to play that sport - too risky. But the mom's argument seems to be about the group nudity. I think the kid is old enough to know if it'll be a problem for him. XOXO
@ Bat - I gree with that sentiment, too. They should be encouraging him and supporting him regardless of what activity it is.
@ Steven - Yup. With football, the bigger and bulkier the better.
@ Anon, July 26, 2021 at 7:20 PM - I'm truly sorry you have suffered this way. A friend of mine once said that to me; "It's always you hung guys who don't mind being naked." He thought he had a smaller than average cock. But, when I saw him, he wasn't small at all. His is an average-sized cock. I think you might be surprised to find that other guys don't much care how big or small yours is. They'll look - they will. It's normal, natural curiosity. Once they've glanced at you, they'll forget all about it. Showers vs growers is perfectly understood these days.
At 56, I'm still not always comfy with my body but I'm learning. If he is chunky and stays that way, he needs to learn to be ok with his body. If he gets more lean and healthy, then good for him. The key is to be happy with yourself wherever you are. I say go for it and let him learn. He needs this!
so true! do't me ashamed!
Its up to the child. If the child wants to try out let him. The only time the parents are needed is to sign a permission slip for the child to leave school grounds to play against another school. From a trainer perspective; a kid being 'çhunky' and wanting to do that type of sport would be easier to train him and get his body where it needs to be for that sport. He has the mass and all he needs to build is conditional muscle and he will be flattening his opponents on the field in no time.
The issue with the wife not really the child seeing a bit of dick in the locker-room, its more refusing to see their child is no longer just a child. One parent will always be in this position more than the other.
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