Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Too Old?

I've gotten such a response to my query on age, it's amazed me! Thank you to everyone who responded. It appears we've all been exposed to it in one form or another. We're never too old to want to be wanted, to want to get our boners taken care of, to get our rocks off. As one reader said, "I'm 71 and I can still shoot a wad over my shoulder."

Ageism has so permeated our entire culture that it has grown to affect our society in ways noone thought possible. Look at the "Unemployables" - those stuck in that middle ground: too young to retire and too old to get hired. As soon as we turn 62 (min age to qualify for social security) we grab at it because it's the only limb hanging off the bank to save us from drowning. Which in turn is placing added, undue stress on a system that was already in trouble. To quote Linda Ellerbee, "And so it goes..."

Track back a little bit and you see a history of men - and now women - hunting for that younger partner. For a variety of reasons, but mostly to make us feel better about ourselves. The older guy likes the envious stares he gets from the other guys in the room when he walks in with eye candy on his arm. It bolsters his ego, makes him think he's still got what it takes.

Track this into the LGBT community and we're "old" when we hit 25! We're called "middle-aged" in our 30's and "old fogeys" in our 40's. God help you when you hit 50... The truly sad part of this is: Even guys our own age don't want to associate - they're chasing after the "young stud" hoping against hope the hunk is looking for a daddy. They should be asking themselves this question: "Was I looking for a daddy when I was hot, hung, and full of jizz?" Most likely the answer is No; if we weren't looking for someone our own age, we were lusting after the twink in the corner with the 7 inch cock.

We're all guilty of ageism in one way or another at some point in our lives. So, what does an "older" guy do? Is he forever stuck lying on the couch alone with his cock in his hand to get his rocks off? No. The key answer, I believe, came from one man who is in his early 50's and is happily partnered and one who is in his 70's and single.

Finding companionship is what we all most want. Yes, of course, we want a really good roll in the hay, but as we grow older we realize that hand job, blow job, or whatever, is so much more satisfying when we can actually say we like the other person - as a person! not just for the huge cock sprouting from between his legs.

All in all, I think my suggestion for my Faithful Reader is this: There is a bar or nightclub where the older gay crowd hangs out, there are social clubs for the LGBT community. Join one - - and, instead of seeking a sex partner, seek out a few folks to just talk to. If that guy you aproach turns away, don't get discouraged; find another. Join in a group conversation. Somewhere in that room is going to be a man who finds you hot as fuck and is afraid he's too old for you - just like you're afraid you're too old for anyone else. This, I think, is the crux of our problem.

Just like the really hot guy who gets approached the minute he walks in the door. He finally gets to realize everyone wants him only because he looks good; he gets plenty of sex but has no friends. The plain guys are afraid to approach him, he's afraid to approach the plain guy. That has happened to me, by the way - - I was so timid because I never thought I was hot enough for the stud in the crowd that even when the stud sent me signals I just knew he was playing me. But, it turned out he wasn't.

The only thing I can say to all my younger readers is this: The next time you see an older guy looking at you, don't turn away, because you never know what he might have to offer. And make no mistake... one day that will be you.



A lot of very good advice. I'm 78 now, have several very good gay friends about the same age and a few younger. I'm quite happy as I am. I occasionally go to a "sex-on-premises" place and usually find one or two other guys who want to play. I've even occasionally been approached by younger guys. My advice: enjoy what you can get; when you need to relieve yourself, watch some hot porn and jack off!

Queer Heaven said...

Very good post today! we all know what you said is true. Although sometimes it is hard to live by. I am lucky to live in an area where most EVERY guy not matter what age is looking for sex and friendship.

Baldy said...

Thank you... great post!
When I was in great demand, at 45 and 50, I was a biker and in very good shape. I am now 71 and in VERY GOOD shape, but the face now is wrinkled and old and I have shied away from bars, not wanting to cope with the giggles that might occur when I walk in.

Guess it's time to get over it and go out.


Anonymous said...

Baldy, you sound like a great guy. I can't understand why anyone would giggle at you going into a bar. Even young people have wrinkled faces these days due to excessive tanning. I think you should go for it man. Get out there and enjoy yourself. I would party with you any time. :-)

O!Daddie said...

... one of the problems with fear of aging is that we all propagate the myth (I'm just as guilty as the next blogger) by posting pic after pic of hot, young, built guys with massive cocks. Sure, everybody wants one, everbody wishes HE was one, but fact is that time doesn't stand still, even for those with an abundance of everything we lust after.

I got a very late start (58), well after my looks were gone and my dick wouldn't always cooperate.. diabetes and a heart condition took care of that.. I focused on men close to my own age group and eventually found my soul mate.. 4 yrs younger, a hell of a lot hotter than me (I think).. the sex was and remains mind-blowing though not as often as when we were young, but the love, respect and concern we share is worth so much more.

Bottom line is that either you grow old gracefully and age like fine wine or fight it tooth and nail and wind up making yourself look ridiculous and ultimately finding yourself all alone. And to the young guys who laugh at us.. well FK YOU.. what goes around comes around.

I have some good stuff coming out on my blog on Friday regarding Aging and the Gay man.. please stop by...

whkattk said...

@ Baldy - Go for it! Anon makes a valid point. besides, hasn't it been said that a lot of men get better looking with age?

Anonymous said...

I am glad I stumbled onto your blog. I find myself spending as much time, and maybe more, here as I do in other sites. I truly enjoy the pictures, and especially enjoy your stories, questions, comments, etc.
I'm 53 and the equipment doesn't always work as advertised due to some health issues, and maybe some hangups (read lingering crud) from when I was growing up.
Yep, I admire the younger pups. I also admire some gents older than me. I find that the ones I admire the most are the ones that become friends.
I have this skewed idea that friends, if they become friends with benefits so much the better, are way more satisifying than the casual trick.