Morning
"as always it's a pleasure to write to you and I've been following your blog for years; I don't know if your readers have encountered the problem of nosophobia or the fear of having an STI.
I usually only meet men once every six months or once a year for a hookup (precisely because of my fear of diseases) and because it's so difficult to find a stable partner on dating apps, I thought I should only masturbate myself or others, except that the last encounter involved oral sex.
Two days later I started to feel a sore throat and my paranoia skyrocketed (I'll go to the doctor in a few days) but I'm too embarrassed to tell him after a few months since my last STI test that I did something And not taking care of me, torments me even more.
I also need to add that I have had a disability for years (wheelchair and spinal cord injury)
I don't know how people can enjoy sex now without thinking about these things, or live without worrying about it. Anyway, lots of hugs to everyone!"
I've never heard of that. But people experience all sorts of fears, warranted or not. I can tell you there are lots of men who wonder how they made it out of the 80s alive. If there is a suspicion of an STI, testing is in order.
You should never feel embarrassed to talk to your doctor. Really. I hope the test comes back negative. If he reprimands you, shame on him. We disabled people deserve intimacy, too, and shouldn't be denied the opportunity. Heck, my doctor gave me a prescription for Cialis when my diagnosis was finalized. I didn't even ask, he just wrote it. The side effects were intolerable. Anyway. I think of Christopher Reeve and his interview with Barbara Walters.
Readers, any thoughts?
9 comments:
The generic of Cialis -Tadalafil side effects gave me a small retinal I immediately quit taking it. I am also allergic to the generic of Viagra-Sildenafil.
Well, his fears may be founded.
One of the reasons I don't have anonymous sex is because I have no idea where the man has been. Some people nowadays think that because they're on PreP they're invincible. That only takes care of HIV. The rest is as present today as it was in 1980.
XOXO
Be honest and upfront with your doctor. Period. If you are really in an environment where a comfort level is low or feels judgemental, pharmacies like CVS and Walgreens sell OTC at-home test kits; no doctor note needed. It may not be the detailed results you would get from a lab analysis, but a negative from those should quell your anxiety.
Totally agree, one should never be embarrassed to discuss anything with their health care professionals. Honesty is the best way to go.
Well, I was no too sexually active in the 80's yet but the 90's on I have been very lucky like you say!!!!!! The one and only time I ever got anything was shocking to me not from sex but a toilet seat that had crabs on it apparently. You know, drunk and 90's nightclubs, one doesn't really notice the terlet seats!
Now I have more regular sex partners and FWB's so I know history at least, but there is still the fly by night hook up. Like I said lucky.
When our opportunities for sex are limited, we can compromise our health in order to maximise our chances of getting some and I can understand a reluctance to advertise to others that we have not taken care of ourselves as much as we should, because it adds shame to guilt on top of any feelings already surrounding disability. However, everyone makes mistakes, we are only human after all and it's important not to further compound any mistakes by ignoring consequences. Health professionals would not be professional if they judged: their job is to help, so assume they will do their job professionally and get them to do their job by seeking help with concerns.
Condoms are good for helping prevent infection transmission and they come in a variety of types including ultrathin that you can barely tell they are there, plus there are flavoured ones if you don't like the taste of the material used, or you can get creative and slather the condom with cream or chocolate sauce and make a meal of it (although use oil resistant condoms for those situations, like the new polyisoprene).
Where there is sex with concern about HIV transmission, PrEP may be an option.
If you are really squeamish about seeing a regular GP, there may be a sexual health clinic in the vicinity that deals with these areas all the time, so it will not be unusual to them and you will be able to get more information about protecting yourself in future.
I know how much you might want the problem to just go away, but that's wishful thinking. I believe what will be will be and working yourself into a state over it will not improve the outcome, only feel even worse: what will help is getting the problem diagnosed and treated if necessary or discovering it is not as bad as you feared.
Your health is important: good luck summoning the courage to make it so.
Like all viruses, there are different strains of HIV. They can change like a chameleon, and a deadly one at that. One can never be careful enough !
Gryf
I didn't come out until 2000 and was married to a woman and having random sexual encounters with men on the side. I consider myself VERY lucky that I never got anything. Eventually I got chlamydia. I was mortified. My doctor was a tall African woman with a strong accent. She looked at me in a very stern voice and said. ARE you having sex? I said yes. She said with more than one partner? I said yes. She said, do the best you can but I have always believed that your mental health is worth more than worrying about things you can take a pill, and use a little restraint for a bit to get rid of. She made me realize that I had to pick and choose how I chose my partners and learn to just enjoy sex without the worries. It took some time but I decided that I would only have any anal sex with condoms and would try my best to ask questions of the people I had sex. I would talk to a professional about your worries to see if maybe they can help also.
i can totally relate to your reader's concerns. I was the same and if I ever dared to have a hook up with someone, no matter how "safe" I was I would be riddled with fear afterwards. Even being in a monogamous relationship now it still took me a long time to get over that fear. When I see people online being so prolific with sexual partners I can't understand how they all manage to do it without fear or consequence of getting something. Although, today I learned there is a name for that fear!
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