Wounded [Willy] Warriors

Men are [typically] defined by three things. Our profession (jobs), our hobbies, and our dicks. And our dicks are many times at the front of that list, rather than at the back of the line. It’s the defining anatomical attribute which makes us “male.”

I read – I know, I read a lot, so sue me – an article in my local paper recently and could instantly relate to it. Then my latest issue of Men’s Health showed up in the mail the other day. A much more in-depth story on the same issue: Our men returning from the war in the Middle East without a nut, or without any balls, and sometimes without a cock.

The MH article points out that each war has its signature wound and leaves a mark on the generation that fights it. In Afghanistan, the war is maiming and emasculating men at a frightful pace. In reading this article, I didn’t just want to cringe and grab my crotch, I wanted to cry.

What’s a functioning willy worth? According to Uncle Sam: Nothing. What’s one – or both – of your balls worth? Again, according to Uncle Sam, nothing. Outrageous, isn’t it?

If a soldier loses a thumb, he gets compensated $50,000. He loses an eye, $50,000. Lose the lips, $75,000. Get their nuts and pecker blown off, “Sorry, dude.”

The medics in the field report that when soldiers are wounded below the waist, the first thing they ask about is their genitals. “Are my balls still there?” “How does my dick look?” One marine even went so far as to tell the captain of the medical corps that showed up to medivac him, “If you can’t save my cock, let me die.” (‘Course the newspaper printed ‘expletive’ instead of whatever word the guy actually used.) That’s a pretty strong statement to make and pretty much says it all. These guys come back and would rather die than go through a life without their manhood, or without the ability to have a family. Yes, ladies, that’s how important our stiff staffs and man-berries are to us.

And it’s not just because of the pleasure we derive from playing with them, or getting laid, getting our rocks off. Many of these guys, of course, worry about the reaction their wives, or girlfriends, will have. Will she stay? Will she leave me for a ‘whole’ man? Even with a fake hard-on, will I be able to satisfy her?

Doctors have developed a way to “recreate” the penis and with implants they can stand up so at least they have the ability to [perhaps] sexually satisfy their partners. The caveat is there’s no sensation and therefore, of course, the guys don’t experience orgasm or cum. And we’ve had ball implants for several decades, but these guys will certainly never father a child.

One sperm bank in California has been offering discounted services to military guys who receive orders for the war zone. Maybe Uncle Sam should consider picking up the cost for all our men in uniform to go whack off into a bottle until they arrive safely back home. It wouldn’t make up for a dismembered member, but at least it would ensure a future family should he want one.

Can we live without our genitals? Of course. Is there any quality of life without them? Even in such a mundane task as taking a leak? Or the pleasure of at least jacking off? That’s a personal call. Only the man who has lost his nuts or his pecker can determine if life without them is worth living.

I don’t know if the government’s attaching a dollar value to our most important attachment(s) is necessarily the answer. But I certainly hope these men are getting every option out there made available to them. I hope the military and civilian psychologists and psychiatrists are trained to understand the importance of these things to a man’s everyday well-being. Because as any guy will tell you, without them we aren’t men.