Explanation Owed?

 

On the same day last week that Sixpence posted about "ex sex" on his blog (LO) Imprescindible, I got an email about the same subject.

"My ex and I have hooked up more than a few times for booty calls since the divorce. It was pretty amicable until she popped over unannounced. I pulled on my jeans and answered the door but didn't want to let her in. Much to my dismay she caught a glimpse of the dude stretched out on my bed. I don't want to ruin the friendship and ignored the fact she didn't call and I apologized. She's still upset. And before anyone asks, no, I never did anyone - much less dudes - while we were together. Do I really owe her any explanations?"

It's a common story. Ex's --- when it's an amicable split --- make for the most convenient sex partners. So, you aren't alone there. No having to troll the bars or get on dating apps. Just ask the ex for a booty call.

Issues creep in when one of them has found a hook-up, whether it's headed for a relationship or strictly a FWB situation. This appears to be your current problem.

Compounded by the fact that your hook-up is a guy.

Do you owe her an explanation? Not anymore than she would owe you one if she found a hook-up. Wait for her to cool off, then gently suggest that, next time, she call first.

Readers, what do you think?

His Choice

The new interface is clunky. But, given that more and more youngsters are driven by images rather than words, the result is the icon-driven menus. Us old folk will be left in the dust if we don't try to keep up. And I'm not old enough for that to happen. Not yet.

But I'll be honest. If it wasn't for emails and comments with questions, I'd probably let this go.

"My best friend is straight and called me and said he needed to see me. We've never done anything sexual and it threw me for a loop that what he wanted was for me to suck his dick. He claimed he if he had to keep jerking off he was going nuts. I let him talk me into it. He did nothing but lay there while I blew him despite that my own dick got hard but he did nothing to help me out. I told him that was shitty. He said he just wouldn't know what to do because he's not even bi let alone gay. If he asks again what do I do?"

What do you do? What do you want to do? If you're a willing receptacle, he'll keep asking. If you want some type of reciprocation, you need to tell him that and stick to your guns.

"He said he just wouldn't know what to do..."?

Really? He's got a cock in his hand every time he masturbates but he says he wouldn't know what to do? Uh, sorry, I don't buy that excuse. Neither should you.

If he comes over and asks again, the results are up to you. Put his hand on your cock and give it to him straight (no pun intended). He can at least lend a hand or he can go back to jacking off.

Make it his choice.

Booty-call Relationship

Issues here at the house - again! Sheesh, can't a guy catch a break? But, at least mine is fixable. Not so much for the guy who wrote in on Aug 4....

"She refused to talk to me all week long - except in response to our daughter's needs. Saturday morning, I made her sit in the kitchen and gave it to her straight. She may be happy living without sex, but after 2-1/2 years I'm tired of having to hide while I masturbate to relieve the aching balls. Something has to change. I gave her an ultimatum: Go get help for whatever the problem is (and I named off some of the things your readers suggested), or I'm done. I told her I'd give her some time to think about it and took our daughter to visit my parents.

Well, I got my answer when we returned three hours later to an empty house. A note on the table telling me she couldn't do it anymore. Not marriage, not parenting. Essentially, she's abandoned me and our daughter. I'm angry, I'm hurt, and I'm relieved all at the same time. Is that weird?

Now I'm a single dad. I think I'm going to need that FWB a couple of your readers mentioned. I feel like I want to make up for lost time. Now, I just want to get with someone and get my rocks off. Is that awful? How do I find someone like that, someone to take on a single dad who wants no strings attached????"

First let me offer my condolences. And, I don't think your reaction is weird at all. You have a right to your emotions; they're justified after such a long period of time. Is it awful that you now want to make up for the sex you've done without, to take care of that seemingly incessant boner?

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 Not at all. There are plenty of people (men and women) who are open to booty-call relationships.

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In the meantime...though you'll have to ensure your daughter isn't around, you're free to jack off as much as you want now without having to hide. 

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Readers

suggestions on where he might begin his search for a FWB????