First Time Sensation

 

"I'm still a virgin though I do masturbate. I may have met a woman and it scares me to think I'd blast off the minute I pushed in. Any advice on how to avoid that?"

Minute Man Missile Syndrome is very common with the first time of penetrative sex. If it should happen to you, welcome to the club. You're in good company, as the saying goes.

But there is something you can do to help avoid that scenario. Practice.

Get a FleshJack or some other type of masturbation sleeve that you can thrust into. I'm going to suggest you get it to body temperature and use plenty of lubrication. Wedge it somewhere in such a way that you don't need to hold it in place and slide in.

If you're too embarrassed to go into a store to buy a sleeve or order one online for delivery, you can still practice by thrusting into your hand with plenty of lube. Find a chair or counter to keep your hand stationary.

This is not a guarantee you won't lose control the first time you actually have sex with a woman. That might depend on your level of arousal when things get started.

But it should lower the "first time sensation" issue.

Two Extremes

 

Two interesting messages regarding yesterday's post.

"My BF didn't like to admit he jacked off and always had the same problem of coming too soon. I came in very late from a nite out with my best friends tiptoeing in so I wouldn't wake him only to find him so into his dick that he didn't notice me. After he came I told him in a very soft voice God that was hot. Problem solved bc now he does it for me or I do it for him. Sometimes I'll give him a bj. Then he recups a little bit and we go for it. Tell your hubby you think its hot to see him stroke his dick."

"I wish my husband had that problem. There are lots of times I just want him to get it over with allready. Once I actually pushed him off me and told him to finish it himself went and showered and when I came back out of the bathroom he still hadn't cum."

Ah, the two extremes of ejaculatory control. It happens to more men than most would like to admit.

The first issue can be resolved by cumming shortly before engaging in other sex. Or --- though I failed to mention it yesterday --- if extreme sensitivity is the base issue, there are Over-The-Counter (OTC) desensitizing creams available at almost any pharmacy. This issue can happen with uncircumcised men.

The second extreme might be solved by learning to stimulate the prostate. Your boyfriend can learn to do this during masturbation by squeezing his butt. Or by exterior stimulation with his hands. Then, once he's learned to employ that movement, he can certainly do it during penetrative sex. 

Or you can provide the added stimulus with your fingers if you're in a position able to reach the area.

If it's a lack of sensitivity, he may have an issue with callous (a thickening of the dermis) on the head of his cock. This can happen to circumcised men due to the constant rubbing against clothing.

This can slowly be shed by using a few drops of Vitamin E oil after a shower. Leave the glans slightly damp and spread a few small drops of the oil on the entire cockhead. It is not an overnight solution --- but, then again, nothing worthwhile happens overnight. But after a few weeks, he should begin to notice a difference in sensation.

Any Sexual Activity

 Well, the power was out...so the WiFi was out...so the internet was out. But better late than never, I guess.

"My husband doesn't last long enough for me to reach orgasm. I've tried to get him to cum by masturbating before we do any other kind of activity but he doesn't want to. He gets all red in the face and defensive. How can I gently convince him?"

Communication is always a good thing. You have to tell him. Maybe say, "I need more stimulation and watching you stroke and shoot helps me get there. We can do whatever you want after you cum once."

Jacking off is a great way for guys to learn control. As a group of my friends and I told a young, single man when he said he always went off like a missile the minute he thrust into his girlfriend, "You gotta stroke one out before you go. It helps lower the arousal level."

It would definitely help your husband learn to control his ejaculations. If you guide him along the way, you're involved in his jacking off and maybe he won't be so timid about it. Or embarrassed.

Have him start and stop as he strokes. When he thinks he might be about to shoot, make him stop. Wait a few minutes and then start again. It's a method prescribed by many sex therapists and urologists.

 If he can recognize that "point of no return" then you can apply it to any sexual activity.

PE & DE

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