Two interesting messages regarding yesterday's post.
"My BF didn't like to admit he jacked off and always had the same problem of coming too soon. I came in very late from a nite out with my best friends tiptoeing in so I wouldn't wake him only to find him so into his dick that he didn't notice me. After he came I told him in a very soft voice God that was hot. Problem solved bc now he does it for me or I do it for him. Sometimes I'll give him a bj. Then he recups a little bit and we go for it. Tell your hubby you think its hot to see him stroke his dick."
Ah, the two extremes of ejaculatory control. It happens to more men than most would like to admit.
The first issue can be resolved by cumming shortly before engaging in other sex. Or --- though I failed to mention it yesterday --- if extreme sensitivity is the base issue, there are Over-The-Counter (OTC) desensitizing creams available at almost any pharmacy. This issue can happen with uncircumcised men.
The second extreme might be solved by learning to stimulate the prostate. Your boyfriend can learn to do this during masturbation by squeezing his butt. Or by exterior stimulation with his hands. Then, once he's learned to employ that movement, he can certainly do it during penetrative sex.
If it's a lack of sensitivity, he may have an issue with callous (a thickening of the dermis) on the head of his cock. This can happen to circumcised men due to the constant rubbing against clothing.
This can slowly be shed by using a few drops of Vitamin E oil after a shower. Leave the glans slightly damp and spread a few small drops of the oil on the entire cockhead. It is not an overnight solution --- but, then again, nothing worthwhile happens overnight. But after a few weeks, he should begin to notice a difference in sensation.
10 comments:
These two spouses should make love together, that would make a satisfactory average between these two extremes.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a great weekend.
You know what they say about one man's problem...
XOXO
Very good advice for both situations.
Patience and kindness for our partners. It usually pays off handsomely. Hugs and bisous.
Men often don't like to admit how often they want sex or masturbate, because many women get defensive and upset, thinking it is a reflection on them personally as if they aren't enough. Some women demand men change their ways so they don't become upset, when it's the woman's issue, not the man's. If women don't want sex with the same frequency as their partner, that's okay, but she doesn't have a right to control his sexual expression and vice versa. It's important to ensure sexual compatibility in a relationship or a mechanism for surplus sexual needs to be acceptably met in other ways, or else the relationship is headed for trouble.
I think women often do themselves a disservice by not involving themselves in arousal or allowing themselves to be aroused, for example by seeing her man arouse himself, instead of expecting a man to physically arouse her. There might even be a jealousy arousal component seeing a man masturbate but imagining you are not getting the same treatment at that moment.
"There are lots of times I just want him to get it over with allready": suggests the OP is not getting much out of the current sexual practices. Many women can have multiple orgasms, especially if the man has sufficient stamina. Perhaps the OP is not incorporating the best techniques to ensure they both have a good time by utilising her partners characteristics to advantage. It's not going to help by putting a performance burden on a partner for something you want: your feelings aren't their responsibility.
There's obviously all kinds of people. The ones that get excited quickly & others who need forever to get there (if ever). I believe the first group is in most cases very much into what they're doing. 🙂
@ Jean - Patience and communication. And, as Dan Savage says, "GGG."
Well, as long as everybody (eventually) gets their cookies, that's all I ever care about. I dislike cumming first. But, depending on the activity and the length of time between ejaculations... that's not always something I control. Still... clearing the pipes? As Irene Cara once sang... Oh, what a feeling!
very interesting, as usual
@ Upton - I'm not a fan of being the first to cum, either. I'd much rather know my partner is perfectly satisfied before I am. But it didn't always work out that way.
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