Wet (Inception) Dreams

Sorry for the long time between posts. The work gig has lasted a tiny bit longer than I expected. 'Course, that's a good thing!

I finally saw Inception over the weekend. It made me think about the wet dreams guys have... I don't know why - maybe because the thought of someone who maybe saw me on the street somewhere decided to invade my dreams and give a righteous hand-job!

These are strange things, these sensuous, erotic images we see in our minds that make our cocks stand up and take notice. So powerful they can make us cum without the slightest touch of our own hands. Awesome! But, of course, the down side would be not remembering any of the action - just waking up with your dick spewing. Or waking up with your torso full of dried jizz.

They usually stop by the time we're in our late teens (Moms, are you listening? Your teenager(s) may be staining the sheets through no fault of their own!) because we've started jacking off - or otherwise engaging in sexual activity to rid the body of the fluids that build up. And I read an article once that said young boys have their first wet dream to indicate everything is ready and fired up on the launch pad. (Another reason why dads should be instructing their sons about jacking off - - I mean, hey, we explain things to our daughters when they experience the first menstruation and the first wet dream for guys is really no different.)

I still have them once in a while. I'm not really sure what causes them, since I make it a point to get my nuts off on a pretty regular basis. If I remember them, I love it! If I wake up in the middle of shooting a load, it can be disappointing - though I still emjoy the feeling while it lasts.

Now that I've seen this film about people invading and controlling our dreams - I think I'll go with that excuse from now on... It seems it would be much more fun to think someone deliberately forced their way in, grabbed my willy - or grabbed both our cocks together in his hand - and gave us one hell of a serious stroking off!

(1-800-) Got Junk?

            

             So, I don’t know exactly where this particular catch-phrase came from. Maybe from the SNL skit “Junk in the Box.” Admittedly, it was a very funy bit; my wife and I both laughed heartily. The You-Tube video of the guy who threatened to have the TSA agent arrested if he touched his “junk” took the reference viral. Every newscaster from Katie Couric to Anderson Cooper repeated the use a multitude of times. Now, there’s a new line of men’s briefs picking up on the “fun.” The waistband is designed to ride above the waist of pants so the JUNK logo is visible. But I have to say, it’s beginning to bother me to have people refer to our man-parts as “junk.”

            As far back as I can remember, junk was an item, or collection of things, you no longer had use for. Basements, attics, cupboards and closets held our “junk” and kept it out of sight and out of mind. Every few months the Junk Man would drive slowly down the street to pick up all the stuff that had become useless to its original owners. What he left behind then became “trash” and sent to the local dump (we call them Landfills now).

            There have been so many monikers assigned to take the place of the proper medical terms it’s difficult to count them. But I’d place bets the total would be somewhere in excess of 100. That’s certainly understandable; who wants to wander around sounding like a medical professional or scientist all the time? Can you imagine trying to tell a joke? “A man walks into a bar with his…” So, we came up with dick, which doesn’t really make sense, since it’s actually a derivative of a Greek word meaning “tail,” and the last time I checked mine wasn’t growing out of my ass but, okay... We came up with cock, which does make sense because it’s a derivation of Greek meaning “to place forward in a prominent position” (and they certainly do that!). Then there’s pecker and prick among the most popular. We came up with balls, nuts, and berries, which all make perfect sense because of shape and function. I can accept all of those; I can embrace them. I use them all. But this new one – I simply cannot wrap my brain around this.

            I like my parts, I have a great affinity with them and I’m so glad to have them. My balls may have not produced a single viable sperm cell, they may not have provided me with enough testosterone for a pre-teen, but I sure love them. To me they are not useless. I get an awful lot of pleasure out of them; I like the sensations created there when I jiggle and bounce them around. The feeling of fullness, the heaviness, that tells me I need to empty them. The lightness in them once I’ve blow the load…wonderful.

            My cock? Well, I most absolutely have a use for it. The pleasure I derive from it is limitless. The senses can be overwhelmed by it! Even soft, dangling there it can deliver pleasant feelings.

            Nope... that doesn’t sound like junk to me. So, I think I’ll hang on to mine.

WAY too good



to call it "junk" anf throw it away!



BOE (Boner)

So, some extremely intelligent psychologist – you know I’m not into naming names when I’m being facetious – states it’s his belief that our nocturnal erections and emmissions are a direct result from dreams of a sexual nature. Um…Huh?? What???

I think I have to vigorously (but sort of respectfully) disagree with that statement. Somehow I do not think male fetuses are having sex dreams. I don’t think any male under the age of, oh, I don’t know…let’s say 7 - just to be on the safe side – is capable of dreaming about sex of any kind. The guy must belong to some extreme right-wing religious cult where science is thrown out with the baptismal font water.

Medical science believes the baby boners (well, all unintentional boners for that matter) are the body ensuring there is an adequate supply of oxygen-rich blood to the tissues – maybe that’s why they’re called blood-oxygen erections (or BOE’s)! Now, by the time we hit our late teens or early twenties the daytime ones don’t become fully-blown; mainly because we’ve kinda learned to ignore them. Either that or we’re too focused on the job at hand (No, I did not say hand-job; pay attention here).

Now if this genius had said the sleeping stiffy’s cause dreams to become sexual in nature I woulda bought into it. And if he’d gone on to postulate the dream then perpetuates our peckers to not only stay hard but make them get even harder, I would’ve been on board and backed him up.

The reason this, um… came up… is because I had one of the most erotic dreams the other night. I remember it quite vividly. And my woody was as hard as tree trunk. I was on a train  - in Europe somewhere – a really funky two-level one; you know, like the double-decker buses. But this was definitely a train. I sat on a bench seat next to this very young man with long, curly dark hair, dark eyes, deeply tanned and had a very alluring smile. He’d swiveled on the bench to face me with one knee pulled up. Then there was a guy in the seat behind us, leaning over and talking with the two of us. I have no idea what the conversation was about – all I know is the young man kept taking our hands and running them along the left side of his face and neck. He sigh real softly as he did it.

This went on for miles, station after station. Then after the train left this one station, he grabbed my hand, fingers entwined, and stood up. As he passed the seat behind us, he grabbed that guy’s hand as well. Holding our hands, he led us to the spiral staircase and up to the second level. Lo! and behold! as we emerged to the top we could see scores of nude men. They stood, sat, knelt, and laid everywhere. Every one of them had a raging hard-on. Every one either had a hand on themselves or wrapped around someone else’s dick stroking away. Heads were thrown back, moans and sighs filled the air.

The kid turned to us both, undressed us, knelt down and proceeded to give us both hand-jobs with slow, long, loving strokes. He’d lick the tips once in a while, sometimes he’d be using two hands on one of us and fondle our balls. It felt so fucking good! And wouldn’t you know it, my damn alarm clock rang before any of us came. But I woke up with a woody like you couldn’t believe! Huge and hard as nails.

Now, it’s my contention, this dream didn’t cause my dick to get hard; my hard dick caused the dream. The dream just made my cock get harder and stay hard longer than it normally would for your standard nighttime stiffy.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Back to work for the week... In the meantime:

May the luck of the Irish be with you today...

...and every day!

Enjoy yourself and Celebrate life!



Cock Adornment

Okay, so I love my collection of cock rings and the silver lion “penislet” (pictured here). I’ll wear them throughout the day. The rings that encircle my balls help provide a much more virile profile and I like that – because I’m proud of the bulge in my pants, proud to let the world know I’m a man.  So, right off the bat (or should that be on the bat?) they can give our self-esteem a boost. Cock jewelry not only looks terrific, it can enhance our boners and add to the fun.

But, as this blog is also intended to make guys aware of the health of their parts, I feel I need to post a few words of caution. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to sound like your father, “Do as I say, not as I do.” kind of shit. No, not at all. I just want you all to be aware of the possible dick damage these things can do.

When our peckers get hard, the hardness fluctuates constantly; we get harder and we get softer. That is the normal flow of blood delivering oxygen to the tissues.

I know some of you are into tying off your balls; I get it, I do. It keeps them down and helps you stave off cumming. And cock rings – the ones that fit tightly on the base of your shaft – increase the hardness and assist in keeping it harder for a longer period of time. In fact, cockrings have been around for a long time and are prescribed by urologists for men who have difficulty in maintaining a hard on. And pumps were designed to help men get hard when they couldn’t. And the two things went hand in hand. You slip the ring over your cock, slide your cock into the pump, pump your dick up and the ring keeps the blood from flowing back out; voila! The artificial, natural hard on!

But do not – I repeat – do not keep this type of cockring in place for more than 30 minutes. Do not tie off the base of your shaft with rope, wire, string, rubber-bands or anything else and leave it in place longer than those 30 minutes. Once you get hard, it restricts the flow of blood in both directions, which means oxygen-rich blood cannot enter your cock either! Blood that gets trapped in the cavernosum, turns to a sludge-like consistency. The longer it sits there, the thicker it becomes. If left there too long, even releasing the constriction (if you can!) will not work – and your cock will not go down. (This is why the commercials for ED remedies contain the warning about a hard-on that lasts longer than 4 hours.) Get thee to an emergency room immediately! And don’t sit and wait for treatment, either! If you must, demand to speak to a male nurse or doctor who will understand the issue and get started saving your dick!

If you don’t, the tissues in your cock die and you can say “Bye-bye” to boners forever. This type, if worn too long, can do some major dick damage:

The type that encircle your cock and balls allow for better blood flow:

So, go ahead, enjoy contraptions that make your rod a steel post, keep it hard and intensify the sensations in the head. Just don’t destroy your man-parts in the process. Keep them healthy so you can continue to do the things you love:

Hero(s) of the Month

Big Boner Hand Award

I look for people or places that help promote men’s health (physical or mental) by encouraging guys to jack off. This month, I have to acknowledge the guys who developed Bateworld.

This is a great interactive, social networking site for guys. The emphasis, of course, is on male masturbation. This isn’t just some average porn site – oh, no; definitely not. I’d have to say I’ve never belonged to a network like this: Men encouraging other men to feel comfortable in their own skin, in feeling good about being male.

The members are from all walks of life, all ages, and all orientations. Nobody is made to feel unwanted, or made to feel like a freak; quite the contrary. These guys are all about feeling good about the self, accepting the self, and honoring this ancient male activity: Jacking off.

The fact that a straight guy can come to terms with loving cock is something awesome. He should love cock – he has one! That he can learn there is nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s normal, to be able to admit he whacks his willy and enjoys it, to come to the realization that jacking off with a buddy is a way of bonding with a brother, to learn he is a part of something greater than himself – and that something greater is belonging to the brotherhood of men – to learn he is definitely not alone in this enjoyment can only be applauded.

Bravo, guys! The Big Whack Attack admires you for the good you do!

If you haven’t been there yet, surf on over (click the link below or on the sidebar):

BATEWORLD

It’s all about the Balls!

Oh, Balls!

Today is the 14 and you all know what that means, right? Tomorrow is Buddy Ball Check Day.

Tomorrow morning, while you are in the shower and your balls have gotten nice and warm, the sac is all loose and allowing your nuts to hang and swing, do your Testicular Self Exam (TSE). If you shower before going to bed, do your check tonight.

If you don’t know how to do a self exam, or if you’ve forgotten… Oh, hell, if you remember how to do it, but just want to see some guy get his balls fondled and then fondle his own, click the link to the video:

TSE

Testicular cancer doesn’t care if you’re black, white, green, or purple with fuschia stripes. Though most common in men between the ages of 15 and 45, ball cancer knows no age discrimination. In fact, a decade ago, the upper range used to be 35.

And, what the hell – if your cock gets hard while you’re fondling your man-berries, it’s a good excuse for jacking off!

Buddy Ball Check means you call, text, email, or use whatever means necessary to ensure your male family members and friends remember they need to check their balls. Be a man’s man – pass it on! (You never know – a buddy just might ask you come over and check his for him!)

Morning Wood (Lately)

Wow. Have you ever had one of those nights-days? Doctors have said that waking up with a hard-on is a good sign. It means your man-parts are in working order and your over-all health is good. While I won’t testify to my over-all health, my cock sure seems to be more than fine.

I really love waking up with my dick, hard as a tree branch, pressed between my abs and the mattress. I love the feel of it and I always want it to last as long as possible. Pushing it into the mattress and dragging my nuts along the sheet – the sensations are great!

 Rolling over and looking at the tent it makes in the sheet, getting up to take a leak, my boner points to the ceiling, I give my ballsac a little heft and scratch to separate it from my thighs (you ladies have asked “why do men always scratch their balls fist thing in the morning?” and now you know the truth of it) and that hand naturally wraps around my shaft to give it some strokes on the way to take my morning whizz. Standing in front of the toilet is when my cock will, generally speaking of course, wilt enough to allow me to piss.

Well, waking up the past few mornings has kinda followed the standard. But my pecker has been waking me up at 3:30 or so. It’s truly had a mind of its own: there’s been no subsiding as I strain to piss through it, (and ladies, now you should understand why we can’t seem to always hit the bowl! (no wonder I prefer to piss outside when I'm hard) it hasn’t wilted at all as I crawl back into bed and it kept me completely awake!

I haven’t had the opportunity to beat it into submission while lying there either. When the alarm has gone off, my pecker pointed me to the shower, stared at the walls and ceiling the entire time (got harder when I soaped, rinsed, and shaved it) and admired itself in the mirror afterward. I struggled to button it into my 501’s and walked around with a quite obvious boner bulge.

To get through the day, I had to just smile and pretend it was perfectly okay to walk around with a perpetual hard-on. It’s a good thing I wear black – the ever expanding wet spot of pre-cum doesn’t show as prominently.

It wasn’t until I returned home in mid-afternoon that I was able to un-cage the monster it had become. It couldn’t wait to spring out and up as soon as I unbuttoned those jeans. The resultant jack-off session has felt like I’d been edging for days. The mini-factories in my balls were swollen heavy with their burden of baby-makers. My cockhead was slick with pre-cum which spread rapidly and made my stiffy literally glide through my fist. Within five minutes the first blast erupted and splattered my cheek. Damn! it felt so good… The spasms, the throbs, the pulse through the shaft. The resultant hot ropes and pools of cum landing on my body. Still slowly stroking my cock, and milking it of every last drop, rubbing the head through the jizz, it didn’t subside for a good thirty minutes. I sighed in complete satisfaction. Morning wood – that lasted damn near all day! I’m lovin’ it!

Addicted to Dick / Public Boners

Well, after a few days gig for a much needed infusion to the cashflow… I caught a rerun of last week’s Dr Phil show. This guy is totally addicted to his dick. I mean, he is a slave to it. This poor guy was beating off 10 to 15 times a day. I don’t know about you all, but I think I can safely say my cock would be raw and muscles that anchor the root would ache. (If you don’t believe me, I’d say try it and see, but really men, pain in the perineum is something you don’t want to experience.)

It’s one thing to appreciate your pecker, to garner as much enjoyment out of it as possible; it’s completely another to lose job after job because you can’t keep your hands off it. I know some men get a thrill out of un-caging the monster and garnering attention – even if that attention is negative, perhaps hoping it is. But whacking off in the middle of your office when you should be getting work done is not a good thing; blatantly surfing porn while whacking off in front of your girlfriend’s father is not a good thing. Ignoring your two-year-old daughter while you get your nuts off can have serious consequences.

If you get an instant hard-on that won’t subside until you cum and it happens with the slightest erotic thought; if any sight turns into a sexual fantasy that morphs your cock into a steel rod that doesn’t go down until you blast a load, your dick is in total control.

Though we may not be able to control when mini-me pops up and wants attention, we cannot allow it to control and/or ruin our lives. That’s not a healthy relationship with your cock. We’re all about keeping our man-parts healthy, but overdoing won’t help the cause.

***

The Public Boners remains the most read post on this blog. My! I never knew so many people would be fascinated with the topic. As much as nudity is frowned upon in this country, it does my heart good to witness a guy who isn’t embarrassed when it happens.

I attend naked yoga classes once a week. It’s terrific, not just because (in my mind, anyway) everything is better naked but, because it’s easier to do the poses without clothing interfering. The nudity in class is very casual – sure you sneak the peek at the new dick that comes in – and there’s nothing sexual about it. There’s gay guys, straight guys, bi guys…it’s a real mix.

The guy across from me has been numerous times; he’s tall, in this late 30’s or so, average body (meaning he’s got a bit of spare tire), slightly balding and an average sized dick – when it’s soft anyway. We’re about ¾ of the way through class and we get on our feet for Warrior One and this guy’s warrior is already at half mast. It had grown a good several inches in length and was filling out nicely. There’s no way every man in the class did not see this (we form a semi-circle around our Yogi). It was a lovely sight to be sure, yet he did nothing to hide it and no one said a word.

I’ll admit that every once in a while my own dick starts to do a few poses of its own, but nobody comments on it. And that, my readers, is what being comfortable in your own skin, as a man, is about: no need to worry about your parts doing their physiological thing because it’s normal.

The Cockhead

I received this in an email today and thought it was funny enough to post. Though, if it were actually true, we could've saved all three countries money and just told them! LOL.

But, did you know: Anthropologists muse that the shape of the cockhead evolved [as it did] to be a means of "scooping out" the previously deposited semen in an effort to promote the success of that being currently deposited.

I know, I know... who gives a shit why it is the way it is -

we just want to enjoy playing with it!

And the awesome sensation in it when we blow that load.



To Fans of Straight Jock Talking

If you are a fan and/or follower of Scott's over at Straight Jock Talking: Scott has asked me (via email) to let you all know he's fine. As you know, he went on vacation with his family last week. When he returned he found his blog had been taken down.

He is currently in the process of trying to convince the powers that be to re-instate him. This is the second time blogger has shut him down.

So, he's fine - - he said he's just stuck in blogger purgatory right now.

Smacked by danthedanimal

Since we've all ribbed Scott for his (apparent) obsession, today's pics are for him and in his honor. Our thanks and appreciation to Dan Skinner for allowing us to post it! (You'll find more of Dan's stunning photography, as well as a link to his work, on the page tabbed at the top of the blog here.)