"I own and run a small company with about 50 employees. One young man has been with us since he interned as a college student. I'm very happy with his work, he's gregarious, self-effacing, personable, and professional. Everyone in the company loves this guy. Our dress code is either black jeans or khakis, he wears both and cannot conceal the package. The company pays for gym memberships and I can attest to the authenticity of his endowment. Then a few months ago we hired a woman who complained about him her very first week, commenting "his attire should not be so revealing." A month ago she filed a sexual harassment complaint against this guy because she saw him "grab and squeeze at his crotch." We have strict policies and take any complaint very seriously. Having witnessed the event, I know all he did was adjust the goods. I fired her for creating a hostile work environment. Now she's suing me for wrongful termination. What is the deal? What do people expect a guy to do? I mean it's not like he can go in for a reduction like women do for overly-large breasts. I don't really need an answer. I think I just needed to vent to someone."
It never ceases to amaze me when I hear these types of stories. They've multiplied since the MeToo movement. And, I get it. I do. Sort of. But not in this case. As Dear Abby replied to a woman not that long ago, "Our maker created men with external genitals. It's normal there might be times of discomfort. The best thing I can suggest is next time avert your eyes."
The cock and the balls take up space. Some men are "well endowed" like your employee. He can only do so much to conceal them. Though he shouldn't have to. They're there. It's a fact of life.
Sorry you're going through this. Rather than settle out of court --- which is probably what the woman is hoping for --- I encourage you to fight the lawsuit. Perhaps your other employees will testify on your behalf.
17 comments:
Good grief! That woman needs to lighten up.
Oh My! Reading your correspondent's story, my first thought were:
- Our world seems to become sillier by the day.
- This 'situation' isn't #MeToo related at all.
- Some people's greed will lead them to filing any stupid kind of complaint (remember: ridicule doesn't kill).
As painful as it surely is to through this kind of procedure, I agree this entrepreneur should fight the lawsuit.
1st- the woman most probably expects to get easy-money from a settling - and her attorney must have pushed her that way too, but is she prepared to face Court? One could really doubt that.
2nd- Your attorney will certainly be be able to get some of your other employees to testify on that young man's behalf.
3rd- Settling out will only lead to undermining the work environment and the trust your employees put in you - and I am sure you know that it's the most precious thing you got from them throughout the years.
The only variables you really have to address are:
- How skilled your attorney will be. The better and specialized attorney, the higher your chances to win. It is up to you to decide how much money you are willing to spend on his service. Again, spending more on your attorney's fees than on aa amiable settlement can show your employees how much you care for their well being at work.
- And of course the State - and therefore mentality - where the lawsuit will be examined and judged.
I wish you the very best, and do hope to be hearing from you and the outcome of it all.
Femen is a radical feminist activist group whose goal is to protect women's rights. Their goal is not to defend all abusive or far-fetched claims. Normally they should not support this complaint, but their success makes them more and more exacting, taking advantage of what "ridicule does not kill". Which leads them to make use of any wood.
More simply, I would say that this woman would not have seen what she saw if she did not look in the direction of the crotch of this young man.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
First of all, that woman is an idiot.
Second of all, wrongful termination? The man is the boss? He should retain a lawyer and fight that prude.
Also, is one of those photos Maddie? I don't know why, but she and I dress exactly the same and I could swear I saw the tie/skinny jeans combo with a sweater there...
XOXO
Sexual harrassment seems to have become an additional revenue source and instrument of change for some people. A local charity recently fired a dynamic and talented thrift store manager due to an imaginary sexual harassmen complaint. This then led to the director and treasurer of the organization to be dismissed. Now the lunatics are running the asylum.
I agree, fight it.
I would not be surprised if she pulled this before. Did she hit on him and he showed no interest? I'd fight it for sure.
Sounds as if she came in with her own agenda.
BTW, I continue to get so much inspiration from your blog!
Over the years I worked with a lot of women, they check out men all the time! I've had them look at my crotch a lot. It goes both ways. I was in a fast food place and the young black guy behind the counter was adjusting himself to my enjoyment.
I'm curious how the woman in question dresses. Does she wear button-up-to-the-neck blouses, or blouses that show some cleavage? How much? Are her nipples visible through the fabric?
Congratulations to the young man who has such a good boss!
And congratulations on his package! *sigh*
--PaulMmn
Oh dear God!!! People are getting crazy over such things. I think the guy was wise to get rid of her...she sounds like she would have been a problem over and over. Most people in general know guys have to fix themselves. There is a difference in adjusting the goods, and adjusting them to pick up someone. IM glad the reader stuck to his guns.
I will wish you a Happy Thanksgiving now Pat!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and you wife. XOXO LOVE AND HUGS.
Talk to a lawyer, it will be money well spent. I would think just having a big package would be meaningless, it's a person's actions. Should men expect damages, if women come to work with large breasts?
Happy Thanksgiving. Hugs and bisous.
Everyone is looking to stir up something any more. Let's just get along. If it bothered her, she could mention it to the boss and he should be able to say that he is aware and that it is not meant as a sexual gesture. If she had to pull up her bra strap, her breasts would move. Same thing.
That guy can come work with me and adjust all day!
Happy Thanksgiving!
This woman seems to me hungry for that dick!
That's unfortunate. Unfortunately, rashly firing the woman was not the correct course of action. Mediation should have been brought in. It certainly would be less expensive than a wrongful termination lawsuit. This was badly handled. And though the woman sounds like a horrible person, she still needed to be counseled about mending her ways. Her attention should really have been focused on her work and not that man's basket!
I recommend getting a female attorney and your female staff to testify. That way the court will be presented with one woman saying one thing and multiple women saying the opposite.
We have strict policies and take any complaint seriously.
You will, of course, have documented evidence of the investigation undertaken before letting her go.
BWC
I worked with a guy who would adjust himself absentmindedly. In mid conversation with me and two female coworkers, he just started rearranging himself. I quoted "History of the world: Part I", looked at him and said "Keep searching, keep searching, I'm sure you'll find it". The women just fell to the floor laughing. He had no CLUE what I was talking about.
And we left it at that. There were no hurt feelings. No lawsuits. It sounds like this employer was blindsided by some snowflake with an agenda and a chip on her shoulder. IMHO.
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