We let ourselves get body shamed by what we're told and shown. Magazines, films, TV - even in commercials - we're told what beauty is; we should look like, or strive to look like; what others want to see.
That the odd man out - the one with "love handles" - should be less desirable.
And porn tells us that the size of the cock is the ultimate test in matters of desirability.
That younger and six-pack abs means better. That's why so much of what we find and see is
Truth is....
...like the commercial for PD (Peyronies Disease) says, "Guys come in all shapes and sizes." And ages.
And without the "fluffing" and camera angles that go on with even the majority of selfie dick pics
reality is:
18 comments:
Interesting post.
I agree!
For several years, I have bought the annual "The Naked Rugby Players" calendar. Proceeds go to assorted gay charities; testicular awareness campaigns, etc. I think, as a matter of fact, that THIS site turned me onto them. (if interested, https://www.thenakedrugbyplayers.com/)
But more so... the guys look like GUYS! Not ripped, gym rats or muscle boys. They look human and relatable.
I had a horrible image problem in my 50's. My 34" waist grew to 42"+, love handles on love handles, pot belly, man boobs. Depressing. Today, over 60, I am 6'3", 320lbs. I got... old and I know, fat. But it took a LOT to let go of the self shaming; the body hatred. Today I feel okay about my image; my husband doesn't seem to mind too much. Feeling POSITIVE about my current physique is helping to keep me focused on making HEALTHY and realistic improvements.
Looking forward to a good decade!
Here here Pat! Another thing to remember is Sue when you see the guys on p*** sites Instagram and TV, there's lots of tricks, smoking mirrors the filtering being done. Hell there's so many apps now you could probably look like a different person. Why
Porn Merchants have always picked from the 'hung' end of the gene pool, and from the guys who hang out at the gym. I have to admit, I really like those heavy-hung dudes with 6-pack abs... Partly because I'm not hung like a porn star, and I've always fought the Battle of the Bulges!
Doctors have told us for decades that a trim body is better for your blood pressure, diabetes, and general well-being. So that part of the porn body fascination is probably not necessarily bad. As long as we don't just look-- but try to get closer to that 'ideal' we've been shown for years!
Where the porn industry has over-sensitized us to body issues is with the size of one's 'manhood.' As others have noted, when men (gay or straight) watch porn, they are mostly interested in the penis doing the penetrating. The bigger, the better! Titles or advertisements of porn 'classics' emphasize 'bigger,' 'harder,' 'longer-lasting!' Often with close-ups of the tallywacker doing some wacking!
And it's not just porn-- there are a lot of ads these days for "PD" (the bent-carrot), and "ED" (limp golf club) ads. Obviously, if your carrot is bent, or doesn't grow, you need their fix-it elixir.
I'm reminded of a child's record, talking about a little boy who plants a carrot seed and waits for it to grow. Everyone tries to soften the blow should the seed not grow. His mother said, "Mothers know a lot of things little boys can't know, so don't be disappointed if your carrot doesn't grow." His father said, "Fathers know so many things little boys like you can't know, so don't be disappointed if your carrot doesn't grow." His big brother said, "Nyah! Nyah! It won't come up! Nyah! Nyah! It won't come up! Told you so! Told you so! Nothing's coming up!"
Now, the little boy's carrot DID grow, and it was the biggest carrot they'd seen!
Although I haven't heard the record since I was a little boy, I'm happy to say I remembered the lyrics almost exactly! And found it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHxLfBSU-9E
Well, we have a lot to get over!!
Thanks a lot for these awesome pictures.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a wondrous day.
Let's not forget our friend Phil from AOM on the pretext that the anniversary of his death falls on a Sunday
As one who has been body shamed in person, I have to thank you for posting this.
I hve always enjoyed my man time,I don't think in all these years,I have had anyone that looks like a male model or with a six pack.The thing I love about cock is the so many different sizes,cut or uncut,love them all,Of course some have been better than others and I'm sure those men would say the same about me.
I say F it all. Truly. I care not what anybody thinks of my body or of the bodies I choose to play with. We all bring something to the table. Our job in life is to recognize and validate what others bring to the table. It's what we're given to work with... so work it! Yes, there are personalities that are a total turn off... but a person's physical self? Well... let's see what we have to work with. Remain open. Expand your whore-rizons.
A universal affliction, trying to live up to an impossible physical standard. That's why the plastic surgery business is so lucrative. This is a non-issue for a lot of people, but there are still plenty who's livelihoods depend on them being able to compete with younger and/or more attractive people. What's so interesting is the standard of beauty keeps changing. Hugs and bisous.
Amen!
I appreciated today's blog entry and subject. It's something I've been aware of since my teen years and fought with various degrees of success. Now in my mid-60s, I'm finally comfortable with myself. There's another blog you should see, if you haven't already. I didn't see it in your blog list, so here it is: https://unashamedmale.blogspot.com/?zx=3667c42fc1e88a71.
However, we should also not be ashamed or feel guilty if we are more attracted to certain characteristics: it's natural to have a preference. The thing is to make sure it is a challenged preference and not something we have simply adopted through habit from external bias.
Nature is diverse and civilisation needs to grapple with whether that really matters.
love your regulars
@ MFP - Phil has been on my mind a lot lately. He is certainly not forgotten. Hugs and bisous.
@ BloggerJoe - Yes, Unashamed Male is listed here, more toward the top of the side bar under "Non-Adult Adult Blogs."
@ Anon, January 31, 2023 at 8:33 PM - Right you are. This is why we have monikers like "Bears" and "Daddies" and "Twinks," etc.
@ PaulMmn - LOL. Never heard that song. That's hilarious! Thank you!
It's taken me a long time to become comfortable with my appearance and my preferences as I am in this moment, but once I did and took the external pressure to change off, I found I wanted to change some things for me instead of for others as it used to be.
I'm now a firm believer that, given the chance, an individual will strive towards health and flourishing naturally themselves: criticism, shame, resentment, etc are an additional burden that must be fought in addition to developing self-acceptance and then self actuation.
I find I'm more aroused by big cocks, even though they are completely impractical for me and I was ashamed of being so selectively attracted for the longest time, but once I accepted the situation I realised that it wasn't a deal killer and I was drawn to men for reasons other than cock size, it was just that larger cocks provided a larger superficial initial thrill for some reason: I would not reject knowing a man because he didn't have a large cock as I found thrill in other ways too that was just slower to burn. It's kind of like emotion happening before reason and now I enjoy the interplay and development of both.
There's a lot of historical wisdom that we have chosen to ignore: that childs song is one of them, along with various aphorisms. Although I have to admit that focusing on a large carrot outcome kind of defeats the object lesson: the kid should have planted a number of seeds and experienced the real nature of diversity that is life.
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