Body Image issues. It seems this is hitting guys more and more.
"My brother and me bought a house together and he wore loose shorts and no briefs and something is always hanging out. buddies came over and told him he might as well be naked. he took his pants off and is naked all the time now. he even put a sign by the front door saying it clothes free zone no pants allowed. everyone gets naked but me and tease me all the time. even our dad when he came over makes fun of me. i told him he ain't seen my dick since he showed me how to pee. he said he seen my boner every morning when he came to wake us for school and everybody laughed. do i have to get naked to stop them from teasing me?"
Well, I'd say it would help if you joined the club.
But first, you need to figure out why you're afraid to be nude with the rest of the group; why the idea makes you uncomfortable. Does it bother you that they're all naked? Are you afraid you'll get a bit of a boner and they'll see it? Do you think you won't "measure up"? Or you think they're in better shape?
It's important for you to recognize and remember that men come in all shapes and sizes and body types.
And, more importantly, boners happen to all of us without notice or reason.
You have two choices. You either ignore the teasing and continue being the odd man out...
...or drop trou and join in.
Readers?
21 comments:
I think it's a shame there are so many adolescents in that household, including the father.
I don't think some people will ever feel comfortable being naked around anybody. It's just doesn't happen for everyone whether they have a nice body or not. A friend of mine has no problem with nudity but will not get naked around other people. And he blames it on magazines boys blogs and various websites. He said most of those sites seem to only show the guys who are tens, they're really hot guys, gym gods, and the guys that are really hung. Even called out my blog. He said to me once... can I blame him since people only ever want to seem to feature the hot guys or the ones that are hung like horses. It got me to thinking he could be right. Is it any Wonder there's body issues?
On the other hand when I've been to the woods some friends of mine have pressure others into getting naked. If people don't want to be naked, they definitely should not be pressured into it.
In addition to Pat's accurate answer, I'd say: ask yourself too how you feel comfortable, no matter if there are people around or not. I mean, if you already do not feel at ease naked while being alone in the house then you might want to try to and wonder if it feels right or not. Then, depending if it feels pleasant or not so much, will you get an idea at wether you should consider getting naked whenever others do so. If yes just try it. If not, you can always answer one's tease by "your body's comfortable as is, and so is mine". Point blank.
To me, being clothed doesn't equal to hiding my body. Or else I wouldn't get fully naked at the beach, for example. It's a mean to an end - the selfish feeling of wellbeing - which the people who surround me do not have a say about.
Again with beach nakedness (applies anywhere): I remember the first time I did it. I had been joked for a couple of days by my boyfriend for keeping my swimsuit on. Did not care. Until I felt comfortable enough to take it off. My body, MY way to feel and deal with it.
What I say, is you be you and let them be them. You shouldn't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to. Some people just like to be naked. Others do not. Your personal choice should be respected by them, just as you should respect their choice.
I personally would go naked with the rest of them, but there's always a third choice: Don't go there.
IMO one should feel comfortable in their own house and not be teased or shamed in to dressing or undressing a certain way.
There are two issues here: 1) if the guy has a body issue to overcome; and 2) being bullied in his own home. Teasing a couple times, yea whatever, after that let the guy be - he gets it. But if it's continuous - "all the time" - then it's being bullied, and not cool.
@ Laurent - ""...your body's comfortable as is, and so is mine"." What a terrific answer! One clothing optional cruise I was on, two of the passengers always wore their swim suits. Someone asked them why, and their answer was that simple. They were more comfortable clothed.
@ Maddie - That's why I try to find regular Joe's for my blog, too. We really do come in all body types.
Around our place, we were always naked, but I never felt pressured, and I don't think any others did, either. Even the pool cleaners got into the spirit, and bared all. Open male-male sex took place, and nobody was embarrassed. But pushing someone was not part of the "deal." It's sad the the writer feels pressured, and I don't profess to understand his feeling, but I respect it. I hope he overcomes it, but if not, the other males should get off his case.
When we lived in the middle of acres with nary a sole near by, we had no problems strolling around naked, but our current house is on a rather busy street with neighbors close by, and, well, no drapes or curtains. It's more out of neighborhood decency than preference.
Well, if he does not want to get naked, it's his choice. If the rest of them want to let it all hang out, it's their prerogative. To each their own.
I have no problem hanging around naked with my manfriends, but I do not get naked in front of anybody else. Just don't like it.
XOXO
No, don't be bullied (aka teasing) into doing something you're not comfortable in doing. They are enjoying getting a reaction, stay cool and ignore them. If they get confrontational, ask why it's such a big deal? Sounds like they have the problem not you.
Hugs and bisous.
The guys in our nude dinner group come in all shapes and sizes. We do it because it is comfortable. Maximus took to it fairly easy. Remember it is your house too so you should be at ease. If you want to try, start sleeping naked, then spend some time in your room nude. When you feel comfortable there then venture walking to the bathroom and further and further. Or try wearing a jock strap first. They will rib you at first then after they get it out of their system the teasing will stop. My grandfather used to say the best way to get someone's goat is watch where they tie it.
Questions I came up with-- how old are the two brothers? Which brother is the modest one? Growing up, did they have to shower after gym class? Without 'privacy curtains?'
PaulMmn
Men will tease regardless: if you get naked just to stop teasing, they will probably find something else to tease about.
I don't agree with teasing as it is only a step away from bullying, but I can understand it's an attempt to gain advantage by putting someone down as part of primitive competition, or to force them to be part of the group so they are "one of us" and not "one of them" and thus not an enemy that needs to be watched to see if they pose a danger to the group, and so I view teasing as being an indication of someone more primitive and less reasoned. It helps me pass it off as childish pranks and not be offended by it: suffer the little children to come unto me.
It's happened to me in a different context, when visiting friends of relatives during Christmas and asked if I wanted a glass of wine: when I refused because I just didn't want to drink, it was like I was committing a mortal sin and I was pressured to comply and be like everyone else, however I remained resolute, but it completely spoiled the occasion as I resent being coerced.
It's sad that people bully others to be clothed and naked, when it's up to the individual how comfortable they are. However, I can understand the primitive tribal underpinnings of that approach, even though as a civilised person I don't agree with it (keep your friends close but your enemies closer).
Having said that, I echo other sentiments about exploring why the discomfort in being naked and whether it is something conditioned as a result of previous coercion in the opposite direction that could do with reconsideration and not simply blind acceptance, for its benefits in being part of the group and greater personal freedom from external coercion.
Perfect answer, @SickoRicko. 2 brothers buy a home, one likes being naked and the other doesn't. Why is the guy who prefers to be clothed in his own home the problem? Must be a lot of fun when mom comes over for Thanksgiving.
he should understand why he's not confortable with his naked body!
I think being comfortable with your body can really begin once you start getting comfortable being naked. We were shamed constantly, as children... and it can take some effort and time to overcome that. I am amazed by the number of men I have sexual encounters with who have body shame... I tell them 'it's okay'. And assure them they are beautiful. It took me a long time to get comfortable being naked around others. It has been an evolution that has taken place every summer at the prairie for many years. I'm now comfortable... with my body and who I am. But... baby steps.
Your pic of the red cabins at Gay Naturist International gathering was refreshing for the middle of winter, but it also gave me an idea. Maybe your correspondent should try out some naked events or places on his own and see what it feels like. There's a kind of anonymity in the 500+ friendly naked men at GNI, or 50+ men at the Rock River swimming hole in VT. Some younger first-timers at Rock River do wear swim suits to hide their boners until they're more in control! He could test out how his body reacts and just walk away if it doesn't feel good. But maybe he's not gay, or not out? Are his brother and the naked friends hanging out at his house gay?
@ fullmoonma - Good suggestion. There are naturist organizations all over the country he could try. They are a very supportive bunch of folks.
He apparently owns 1/2 of the house and if he wishes to remain clothed, good for him. No psychoanalysis needed or should be suggested. It's his choice to remain clothed just as it's his brothers choice to be naked. Strange father for sure.
There should be zero pressure and zero discussion, live and let live.
End of discussion.
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