Mis(ter)Understood

Friday’s post about steroids and testosterone generated quite a bit of interest. One reader chastised me for spreading misinformation about Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT).

Hi there!

You have made some uneducated statements regarding Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT), and join the club.  There is so much mis-information out there, it really is amazing to listen to all the nonsense. 

There was more, but those first two sentences are what I need to address.

I believe this reader misunderstood the post. The man in question was not only using (illegal) steroids, he’s allowed a fellow Iron Pumper in the gym he attends to convince him to undergo weekly injections of testosterone (T) outside of a controlled medical situation. And I stand by my statement(s) that this will eventually do him harm. Testosterone is a controlled substance for a reason, and we all know how easily [those] substances can be illegally gotten and abused. And what makes that worse is that illegally gotten drugs may not be as pure as one might be lead to believe.

TRT is not a bad thing. In fact, for some of us, it is necessary and I honestly thought I made that clear. I use a Bio-Identical cream myself. But, it is by prescription and under a doctor’s care. My T levels were extremely low, and I do mean extremely. I had no energy in the morning and by 10 o’clock my ass was dragging on the ground; in addition to the Muscular Dystrophy wreaking havoc I was steadily becoming weaker; my erections…well, what erections? I hadn’t had a decent boner in more than two years. I could manage to stroke a load out, but my cock wasn’t even close to raging hard – it was more like a half-cooked noodle. Morning wood? Fugeddaboutit!

The T replacement has certainly aided me in a positive way. I have increased energy levels, my muscular strength has (somewhat) returned, and I can get a decent hard-on again. And the morning wood is back and feels amazing again!

So, guys, just in case I wasn’t clearly transparent on the subject, let me clarify this… Using testosterone (hormone replacement) therapies, when necessary, at normal doses, by prescription, and under the care of a qualified medical professional will not harm you.

I hope [that] reader understands that, here at Big Whack Attack, I am all about getting the package in good working condition, keeping it healthy and hard, and enjoying it well into old age.

Danger Will Robinson!

I actually had this ready to post before "The Incident."

I’ll try to make this short and sweet. In an online poll and forum, a guy posed a statement/question about the use of steroids and one of his gym rat buddies talked him into doing weekly injections of Testosterone; a very dangerous combination.

First off, while steroids will increase the rapidity of muscle development, it is direly important to remember the heart is also a muscle. Enlargement of the heart is a very bad thing! But, while the steroids are enlarging your muscles, they’ll be shrinking your balls into oblivion.

Though weekly infusion of T has made this dude horny as hell (he’s now jacking off 3 to 5 times daily) and he’s enjoying every minute of his perpetual hard-on, he’s not thinking about future enjoyment.

Using supplemental testosterone will shut his nuts down and help to shrink them even faster. The testicles are very smart little factories – they know when they’ve produced enough T at night to get you through your day. When you begin providing T by other means, your balls notice and stop the natural production. Do this long enough and your man-berries begin to atrophy.

Combine the two (steroids and supplemental T) and you’ve put together a recipe for disaster. Your body will get to a point where you will have to continue supplying the testosterone by artificial means because your balls will have shrunk down to the size of shriveled up garden peas. Add the stress on your heart from enlargement due to the steroids and bam! There’s that heart attack you never thought could happen to you because you work out on a regular basis; you’re the ‘healthy’ guy.

Take care of your body, boys. Don’t go taking crap that has the potential to take you from raging, rock-hard cock and full, swinging balls to limp pasta and peas in a matter of months. Treat your package well and it’ll serve you well all your life. Make the determination now to be just as horny-as-hell with a fully functioning cock (and balls) when you’re 90. Stay off the steroids and testosterone replacement unless it’s medically necessary and you are directed to do so by a qualified physician.

Unless, of course, you want to look like this:

Or this:

Instead of this:

A Quickie Celebration

I felt like a little celebration was in order.

I liked this one so much, it's the new title pic! (It was time for a new one anyway...)

Reinstated

Well, after an extemely disconcerting two days of stewing over the closure of my blog, I was ready to create a new one only march out all kinds of diatribes regarding said closure. And, lo! and behold!! it's back.

"We have received you appeal. Upon further review we have determined that your blog was mistakenly marked as a TOS violator by our automated system and, as such, we have reinstated your blog. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused in the meantime and thank you for your patience as we completed our review process.      Thank you for for understanding.      Sincerely,      The Blogger Team ."

Well, I say Bullshit! to the 'automated system'. And here's why:

"Hello,      Your blog at has been reviewed and confirmed as in violation of our Terms of Service for: CHILD_PORN. ..."

Now, an "automated system" would have no way of determining such a thing. Somebody lodged a complaint. And all it takes is to push that little link that says "Report Abuse" at the very top of each blog. And a person can do so with the complete anonymity of cyberspace.

What makes this worse is you are not told what post is in suspected violation, you are not given any opportunity to dispute it or argue a case. Someone complains and wham! the 'luck of the draw' staffer takes you down. If you don't appeal the decision, your blog is gone for good.

Here's the true evil of it though, as I see it anyway: The accuser doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to contact you with his/her complaint.

Please! I beg all those who stumble upon any blog and find thier delicate sensibilities offended, at least have the courage to stand up and be counted and give the accused an opportunity to respond. That means sending an email with an address which can be replied to.

I offer my apologies to my faithful readers. And thanks to the ones who emailed me to offer condolences, acknowledgement that the accusation could not possibly be true, and suggestions for righting such a grievous wrong.

Hugs to all of you!!

Friday Fun

No pundit post today. Just ran out of time. So, here's a few fun things to lighten up your weekend.

Awww. He likes me, he really likes me!

The latest in Vibrators

Hoo, boy! Which toy should I play with from the storage unit today?

A good use for that exercise equipment that's been gathering dust.

Yeah - what they said.

Double the pleasure and double the fun!

Have a nice weekend - - just hanging out and chillin'.

A Reader Asks

A reader left this question on a recent previous post:

Dear Abby,

I have a problem. Everytime I go to do a ball check, I end up getting aroused, making a mess, and the old lady wants to know why I disappear for long periods of time. Is there a way to shut her up?

Sincerely,
Eddie

Well, Eddie, that is a problem. Not the ‘getting aroused and making a mess’ part; that makes all the sense in the world! After all, our balls are sensitive. Even doing the monthly ball check they can misinterpret the attention and send the signal to raise the flagpole (they do so love to be played with and fondled!). The subsequent mess, easily cleaned up, is fully understood by us guys because once the pole is in the upright position the natural thing to do is to wrap a hand around it and beat it into submission, which, of course, splatters the surrounding area(s).

What is troubling you – and many thousands of other guys – is the lack of knowledge and understanding on the part of the women in your lives; women who have not been given proper instruction on the physiological phenomena of male anatomy.  The solution, of course, is education. Knowledge is powerful stuff, though, and we must take care to ensure understanding accompanies that [knowledge].

This is a problem men have faced for millennia. Now, what do you do about it so she will cease asking where you’ve been disappearing [to] for long periods of time? There is the blunt approach: “Sorry, honey, I just had to pound out a load.” But there is the risk of offending the fairer gender’s somewhat delicate sensibilities when it comes to matters of the penis.

There is the straight-forward, but minimalist approach: “I was doing my TSE. It’s necessary, dear. It’s important to catch cancer in its early stages. Just like you do a monthly self breast exam – you do, don’t you?” (This last part must be said with every ounce of sincerity.) “Well, men need to check their testicles monthly and it can take a good long while to do a thorough job.”

If by chance she would like to know how one is done, send her to the computer to watch the YouTube demonstration.

Then, there is the gentle but forceful approach: “Honey, sit down; we need to talk. Evidently, your mother didn’t do a complete job of explaining men to you. See, men masturbate. It has nothing whatsoever to do with our desire for our wives or partners. I love you, I desire you, I want to be with you. But there are times – quite often actually – when men need to spend some quality time alone and take care of themselves. And we do this for a variety of reasons; our mental and physical well-being depends upon this.”

It’s important that you remain calm and answer her queries in a gentle manner. Goodness, the worst thing we can do is growl when faced with answering these kinds of questions. If we come off as defensive, our ladies become suspicious of our motives and feel threatened. And, plainly speaking, our habit of whacking the willy sends questioning thoughts into their heads; things like, ‘Doesn’t he find me attractive anymore?’ and ‘What’s wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough anymore; have I gained too much weight; doesn’t he love me anymore; am I not doing something right when we have sex; am I not enough for him,’ and on and on the calliope spins. These things are never said, mind you – at least not in those words. Those thoughts emerge in deeds and behaviors which we men find altogether baffling. That is what you don’t want.

She must come to understand that your time spent jacking off is no reflection upon her. It’s a guy thing, plain and simple. Our dicks can stand up and demand attention at the weirdest times; our balls can feel like ten pounds of dead weight dragging on the floor even within an hour after we’ve had the most amazing sex. To reinforce the male point of view on masturbation, some marriage counselors and sex therapists have even gone so far as to suggest a man invite his partner to watch him take his own pleasure.

Eddie, I hope this helps. There’s no worse sensation than your raging, red-hot, steel pole painfully straining to snake down a pant leg, your nuts screaming to be relieved of their dead-weight cargo and either, A. not being able to take care of them, or B. having to hide somewhere to do the deed furtively. That makes us defensive, become offensive, and gets us to feel guilty over an activity which is as natural and normal for us as the changing of the tide.

Perhaps, I can begin a new feature of this blog: Ask Pat.