Monday, April 23, 2012

The Men's Room

Last week I went through a short series of emails with a faithful reader who got a little freaked out with this issue. I know he's not the only one who has had this happen and felt uncomfortable with it. Well, okay, it freaked him out a bit. So, it went like this:

He's a young, straight dude in a shopping mall men's room, standing at the urinal with dick in his hand taking a piss. An older dude walks up to the urinal right next to his, whips it out, and...starts jacking off whilst staring at the young meat. This is a bit unnerving to say the least - particularly in an establishment where it isn't expected and particularly if you're a straight man.

The kid clears and shakes, with this dude still staring, hurriedly stuffs his cock back in, zips up, washes his hands and leaves. Five minutes later, he notices the old guy out in the mall who seems to be following him and still staring at his crotch.

Now, like I said, if you're at a gay bar or club, or an adult bookstore, or a bathhouse, or maybe even the local gym steamroom / sauna / showers / lockeroom it might be expected. But out in what one might consider a 'normal' men's room it's a little scary - especially if you're young and have never experienced another dude staring at your cock, trying to engage you in a little buddy-jack or mutual stroking.
Taking a quick peek is normal. Gay, straight, bi, all guys do it if they think they can get away with it. It's done covertly, though - you're just checking out the competition with a sly glance. No problem. But it may be time to revisit a couple of the major 'unwritten-unspoken' rules of men's room etiquette.

Always leave one urinal separating you from another guy. If there are only two urinals and one is in use, you go in the stall. If there's only one urinal, you use the stall - do not stand there behind some dude who's trying to take a leak. If the stall is also in use, go stand in the hallway and wait for one of the guys to exit.

This is becoming especially more important since there appears to be less and less use of privacy panels installed between pissoir's. Eyes straight ahead or looking down as if concentrating on your own aim. No talking while taking a whizz. Even good friends (or co-workers) - if they ever chance to be in there at the same time - rarely converse while they have their cocks in their hands. At the sink, washing hands, it's okay. Maybe.

Here's a fun little game to test your knowledge of

Ladies, it might be fun for you to learn about this - 1. It may help you to be able to explain the rules to your sons if you're a single mom, 2. It'll help you understand why guys never go to the men's room in pairs like women seem to do all the time.


becca said...

good rules to teach little man.


Many urinals are just one long trough and when there are lots of men pissing there one just has to join in!

Anonymous said...

Lord Patrick, the trough rules are slightly different to the urinal rules (urules?). One can only keep maximum distance from other pissers. Either end of the trough is best position as you can only ever have one person beside you. Interestingly there is more chatter at a trough than single urinals. Probably to disquise the fact men are more uncomfortable. Now if it were outdoors on a tree no-one cares one way or the other who else is around or if you're talking or not. Men pissing is strange and interesting psychology.

whkattk said...

@ LP and Anon: You brought up a good point my liege. And Anon has further elaborated on the strange psychology of men and our attitudes regarding our dicks. This deserves a Part II.

Guys Masturbating said...

I always go stand next to a hot guy if i see one so i can check out his package

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