Thursday, November 19, 2015

Sometimes Blue is Not a Pretty Color

A few days ago, a Faithful Reader asked, "What are blue balls?" Rare is the guy who has never experienced them - particularly as we've gone through puberty and have begun the dance of dating. In the 50's and 60's we called it "heavy petting" or "making out." In the 70's and 80's it became "sucking face." In the late 80's and into the 90's the term morphed into "mutual groping."
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Whatever term is used, it boiled down to the same thing: a lot kissing and roaming hands, maybe even some teasing of bared skin
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But then all that foreplay leads to...nothing. A final kiss goodnight, and the closing of the door opened our minds to just exactly how sexually frustrated we'd become. The boner may have subsided
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But, then the intense ache hits The Boys with full force.
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 They feel so heavy, you would swear they were about to drag on the ground.
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Welcome to a severe case of Blue Balls.
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Blue Balls is a slang reference for temporary vasocongestion - a build-up of fluid in and around the testicles. When a guy has spent an inordinate amount of time in a sexually aroused state and hasn't been able to ejaculate. The condition is - or can be - painful, but most men describe it as a severe heaviness of the testes accompanied by an aching. Urologists refer to the condition as Epididymal Hypertension.
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Temporary relief can be found (according to an article many years ago in Men's Health magazine) by grasping something heavy, preferably the bumper of a car, and pulling upward. (One should not actually try to lift the vehicle as that can cause Inguinal Hernia.) There is something about the position of the legs and the flexing of the groin muscles which pushes the fluid out. The only real cure is ejaculation.
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Grab the first opportunity you can find to relieve the condition.
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The relief will be palpable.


9 comments:

LORD PATRICK said...

AH! YES! I remember that well! Great information for those who need it. Of course, as ever, hot pictures. They are forecasting 41C here today - over 100F. And I have this conference to attend! Hugs, Patrick

Xersex said...

fantastic post!

A French Patrick said...

I love "The relief will be palpable": I think that there are things "in relief" which have already been palpated when it happens.
I wish you a wondrous day, my darling, with a lot of roaming hands and bisous.

mistress maddie said...

I got so worked up once with a guy, one the way home after some heavy groping, I actually shot in my jeans just from the thought.

Jean WM said...

As always the good teacher. French Patrick, please forgive our politicians. They don't suffer from blue balls because they have none ;).

Pat is right Pres. Obama has a high aversion to killing and I am glad. The press is full of politicians saying this could have all been avoided if the French were armed with handguns. Then maybe your homicide rate would reach ours in a few years.

whkattk said...

@ mistress - ...and now you know where the saying "cream my jeans" came from. ;-)

Fullmoonma said...

I'd like to suggest that Erotic Engineering's multi-orgasmic techniques may also prevent blue balls. As readers of my blog will know, I masturbate a lot, but come very rarely. I realized while reading your blog post that I rarely experience blue balls these days - I can't remember the last time it happened! I'm guessing the "dry" orgasms I experience roughly a minute apart aren't completely dry. Although my cock leaks a lot, I don't smell the delicious odor of fresh sperm, but the pressure is getting relieved somehow...

A French Patrick said...

A quote of Doug Larson after the last terrorists attacks in Paris: "Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible." .
Bisous.
LOL, no, with no snails in my mouth.

Hot Studs said...

Photo #3 all the way, IMO! :)