Thursday, September 21, 2017

Hand That Cup to the Nurse

For as much as masturbation is becoming more talked about, some guys still have trouble.

"My wife and I are trying to conceive. It's come to IVF. Fine, if that's what it takes. But I'm having trouble here. Four trips to the clinic and I still haven't been able to produce. It's the most emabrrassing thing. I'm embarrassed that I can't produce and embarrassed to be in that position in the first place. They hand you a cup, point you to a room, and excpect you to jack off. I can't even get a decent hard-on. Yes, they've provided a few magazines, but those haven't helped me one bit. I tried to fantasize, and that doesn't help. I've tried downloading porn to my phone to watch and still can't seem to do this. Just as I might be getting a bit of a chub going,  there's conversation or a burst of laughter in the hallway. Goodbye boner. Any suggestions?"

Woo, boy.... I am sorry you're having to go through this. But, if you want children and this is what it will take, you're going to have to wrap your head around it - and your hand around your cock.



I know you know this, but I'm going to try to reinforce it for you. Yes, those people know what you're doing - or trying to do - in that room. They also know how difficult it is for you, that you're embarrassed by it. Masturbation is the single most common sexual activity on the planet. It's normal, it's natural. It's also the only way (evidently) you're going to sire kids.

So, Here's what I suggest. Download the hottest porn you know - the one that gets you rock-hard and ready to blast off in minutes - for your viewing pleasure. Take a pair of sound-canceling headphones in with you to help block out the world.
That way, you won't hear the conversations, or laughter, and you can concentrate on what you're there to do:


cum,

stuff your cock back into your pants,
and hand that cup to the nurse.
Any other suggestions, readers?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good advice, bro. I hope he can solve his issue. I hope you and yours are doing well. I wish you a beautiful day. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM

SickoRicko said...

Excellent advice as usual!

Unknown said...

Wonderful pictures as always! Fell sorry for that guy, but have no suggestions! Big meeting to attend so have scheduled a post for today Have a great weekend!

Your French Patrick said...

This is a very sensitive issue. I am afraid that this first stage is far from being the worst obstacle.
I think that if you make this attempt it is because a doctor said that you have good chances of success, and not only for having an opprtunity to wank.
I can only cross my fingers and wish good luck to you, and first of all, above all, to your wife who will have a lot more to do than to wank.

Love, hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.

JeanWM said...

I suspect this is a VERY common problem. All your advice is good and what the folks at the clinic should be giving him. Happy weekend!
Hugs and bisous.

Fullmoonma said...

Negotiate taking the cup to another private bathroom nearby where you will be anonymous? Or at home? Or a motel room nearby hired for the purpose?

Watch appropriate porn video on you laptop while generating the sample?

One time Viagra/Cialis use - which help you keep a boner if you get it?

Have your wife assist?

T said...

You can take the cup home! I dont know where that guy is going but they get told by the Nurse/Doctor if you cant do it there and then you can take the cup home and return it no later than 24hours after you fill it. They take all your details before they give you the cup.

If that wasnt told to the guy or he wasnt paying attention then seriously consider going to another clinic.

Same as pissing in a cup. You get told the same thing. If you cant fill it then take it home and return it when you fill it. They will even give you wipes for your dick so you dont contaminate your own sample.

Fang, Down Under. said...

You've probably been so busy trying to have kids by the usual method you haven't had time of the inclination to walk. Have a couple of practice runs at it maybe even with you wife watching. You might then be able to shoot a sample at the clinic with ease. I was skedaddles for a sperm sample once to check my fertility. I was so excited I came in about thirty seconds. Best of luck.

DK in Perth Western Australia.

whkattk said...

@ T - I was allowed to take the cup home - but it was only for the purposes of counting and inspecting the swimmers. I had no idea they'd let a guy do the deed at home when they want it as fresh as possible to inject into his partner. But, I hope he comes back to read the comments - I usually do suggest that when I send my responses to email questions.

T said...

Most will do the insemination within a 24hr period of getting the sample.

Depending on location of the clinic some may even send a technician out to you to get the sample if you cant return it. We had family go through IVF and the technician went to their house for the samples and took them back to the lab.

If the guy had a sperm check prior and he does have a higher than normal mortality rate the Doctor wont even bother with a failed attempt at a sample; Doctor will get one from you. All Doctor wants is the sample; thats all they want. No walks in the park, lunch dates or a box of chocolates they just want the sperm.

Sperm doesnt last long and it has high mortality rate. Some are even DOA before they even leave your dick.