Tension Remedy

More communication. But, how do you talk to your spouse/partner about sex? How does one even begin? Michelle Matthews offers some tips worth trying in her article for Meduim, "How To Talk About Sex Issues With Your Partner." What makes her an expert on that subject? She and her husband had issues themselves.

She leave us with tips:

1. Create a mood that foster’s communication — no yelling allowed and make sure everyone is in a good mood. No one is going to be receptive when they’re tired.
2. Make sure your partner knows that you want to open up a dialogue. Not everyone is open to talking about sex freely so ask them how comfortable they feel in discussing it. The answer may surprise you.
3. Use I statements. I feel. I think. When you speak to someone and only say you don’t do this or you always do that, it’s argumentative and puts someone on the defensive.
4. Don’t expect changes to occur overnight. It’s a process. Make sure your partner knows that you don’t expect a change overnight.
5. Encourage them to see a doctor if you think it might be necessary and go with them.
6. The most important thing: Listen. Say your peace but know when to shut up.

In the case of our writer of the other day, if her husband would just tell her he needs the time to unwind and get rid of the tension of the day, that jacking off does that for him, that he feels he's more pleasant to be around for the rest of the day, it just might do the trick.

I mean, come on, who wants to deal with a crabby spouse? If kicking back and masturbating remedies that, well, have at it. But, I would honestly suggest that he allow her to join him once in a while.

After all, maybe she's has a crappy day, too.

Have a good weekend. Go relieve some stress. 

More Open

Anticipating that the function would run quite late last night, this is a scheduled post.

Before I logged off Dad popped in a comment on the post that bears repeating: "More women need to understand this. Maybe guys need to be more communicative."

Guys, stop being so afraid to talk to your wives/girlfriends/partners/significant others when it comes to sex. Sex and money are the leaders in the cause for divorce. The more open you are about your likes, desires, and fantasies the better off you're going to be. "Happy wife, happy life" is great in theory, but you have the same right to happiness. If that means you want to be able to head off for a bit of "me time" the better she understands that the easier it will be.

 

Come on, guys, man up. It will stop you from having to hide in the garage or bathroom.

Or stroking one out in the shower as if you were back at home with the parents.

You're a grown-up, a man. You can jack off if you want to.

A Much Happier Man

"We've been married for two years, three months, and six days. The sex is great, he always takes care of me before he orgasms. But every day without fail he comes home from work and masturbates. He doesn't hide it from me but he turns me down if I offer to join him. What is this about? Why does he prefer to masturbate instead of have sex?"

Because it's not about sex. It's about unwinding, relaxing after a stress-filled day. Some men come home and down a beer. Your husband comes home and...cums.

Seriously, that's all there is to it. No hidden agenda, and it has nothing to do with his desire for you. It's strictly his way to unwind and relieve the pressure of the day.

Let him have this time to himself, for himself.

I promise you, he'll be a much happier man.

This Is the Time

Completing the answer to the young man who asked if he should sleep naked and masturbate every day:

Avoiding the risk of prostate cancer and relieving the constant boners aren't the only reasons you should be masturbating every day.

This is the time you should be learning about your body's response to sexual stimulation; what feels good, what doesn't. It's also your opportunity to learn to recognize what is called The Point of No Return. That is the point at which you cannot stop the ejaculation. You're going to cum and there is nothing you can do except...cum.

Because cumming before you want to (premature ejaculation) isn't all that pleasant.

Frottage, or Frot, is a good way to learn how to control yourself and ready your response to intercourse. 

If you squeeze the butt cheeks as you thrust and release the muscles as you pull back, that affects your level of arousal because it stimulates the prostate.

Using a masturbation sleeve - something which you might slick up with baby oil (or some other type of lubrication) - is also a good idea. This will introduce you to the sensation of penetrative sex and help you learn to control when you cum. 

These are the years you get to practice, practice, practice so that, when you get into a sexual relationship, you know what you're doing.