How to Approach

A reader poses an interesting situation.

"I'm in the middle of a divorce. My wife thought living together thorugh divorce was too awkward so I found a guy looking to rent out a room in his house. We hit it off during the interview and we signed the agreement. During the interview he was right upfront that he is a confirmed bachelor and an avid nudist. Whenever he's in the house he's naked and told me to feel free to be as well. I wamred to that immediately. Not having to put anything on to get my coffee in the morning is pretty convenient. So the nudity isn't the problem. Though he hasn't said so I suspect he's basically a solosexual. He hasn't talked about any relationships or gone on a single date since I moved in.

He never closes the door when he goes into the bathroom to take a piss and never closes his bedroom door and there's a clear view of his bed from the hallway. We've both been pretty open about the fact we jerk off. Over the months I've seen him on his bed or reclined on the couch stroking away. I never interrupt but seeing him arouses me to where I go to my room and do the same but what I'd really like to do is join him. Is that wrong? How do I go about asking him if it's okay?"

It's great that you are both so comfortable being naked with one another. It's also good that you're both open about jacking off. I mean, why shouldn't you be? More men need to be open about it.

It's nice that you don't assume he wants company just because he doesn't hide what he's doing. That seeing him arouses you isn't a surprise. But, I agree that you going off to your room to masturbate - especially if he's in the common living area - is a bit silly if you are comfortable joining in. The question is whether he wants company or not.

I think maybe the etiquette here is somewhat akin to attending a jack off group. There are some guys who want to sit alone, watch everyone else, and stroke. 

The only way you're going to get the answer is to ask. Not if he's in his bedroom. But the next time you find him on the couch, quietly ask, "Can I join you?"

Your landlord will either say "Sure," "I'd rather you didn't," or, if he's super uptight - even though he's in the habit of jacking off out in the open - he'll walk away and go into his bedroom.

The key, I think, is not surprising him that you're there.

Readers, any words of advice on how to approach a roommate?