"The first time I saw a pic of a hard cock it was 5 or 6 years ago by googling boner and clicking the photo tab. It led me to your blog and I learned a awful lot by reading most every day. I just got married and we agree no kids ever. Our church doesn't beleive in using contraception but my dad gave me a box of condoms for the honeymoon. He said what the church don't know won;t hurt them. I don't think my wife knew that I put them on and I'm scared to let her know. What can we do instead?"
Your dad was right. Many churches that don't condone contraception will instead suggest using the rhythm method, by tracking your wife's fertility cycle, and only have sex when she is not ovulating. It's not very reliable. And unless you want to spend your marriage with hand jobs, blow jobs, anal, mutual masturbation, jacking off, or a variety of frot you don't have many choices.
The downside to either of those methods is that precum can (and often does) contain sperm. And all it takes is one.
You could convince your wife to get her tubes tied, you could get a vasectomy, or use some other over-the-counter (OTC) contraceptive. Or you can tell your wife you're going to use condoms. Which aren't 100% failproof, either.
I don't envy you the conversation about which method to pursue but, if you are determined to remain childless, you'll have to do it.
16 comments:
Ugh.
Religion. I think he should get a vasectomy (that can be reversed) and make sure that he stores his little guys in some fertility clinic, in case they change their minds down the road.
Ugh.
Religion.
XOXO
so true!
GET A VASECTOMY!! Sheesh.
Vasectomy is a surgical procedure for male sterilization or permanent contraception. During the procedure, the male vasa deferentia are cut and tied or sealed so as to prevent sperm from entering into the urethra and thereby prevent fertilization of a female through sexual intercourse.
The risks are a temporary local inflammation of the testes or a long-term genital pain.
A modern form of castration, after all…
…and that is why I really doubt it is without serious psychological impact.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings chéri Jean and Pat.
Good on this guy's dad for providing the necessary, and his comment that "what the church don't know won't hurt them". But i'm confused! The poster said, "I just got married and we agree no kids ever." So, they could at least have a husband-and-wife conversation about how they can avoid having kids while still enjoying sex together. In my opinion the rhythm method is both unreliable (as you've said) and also very unsatisfying due to the mechanical nature of this regime.
Your answer covers it, Pat. And you are right to point at the conversation that this newlywed couple will have to have, the sooner the better, knowing that their starting point is their mutual agreement upon not having children.
One question, though, about the pics of hard cocks (plural because I assume that since a few years ago you came to see a certain amount, starting with this clever blog): do you have the feeling that you may be attracted to men (only may be) to the point you'd consider occasional intercourse? Some men discover this side of their sexual life after they've already been married several years. This too may require your honest attention, considering your wife deserve the same honesty from you than you hers. And again, the sooner the better. But if you happened to be bisexual, even occasionally, it also might be envisioned as a way to spice your life at times your wife has her periods.
How about just getting away from the "church" and all the bullshit that goes along with it?
I think you gave the best advice. If you want to enjoy sex and don't want kids...there is not many choices out there. He and his wife is going to have to decide on something.
Get the snip. It can be reversed, but it is one foolproof way of preventing unwanted pregnancies.
Wow, it seems they need to go back to the drawing board and discuss contraception. Should have been done long before they got married. This is such an important part of marriage it is stunning it wasn't discussed completely and a joint decision made. Not a good sign, starting out. Hugs and bisous.
You give great advice...and I actually enjoyed the visuals. Am I turning straight? LOL!
The OP and his wife may have agreed never to have children, however most methods of contraception are not 100% reliable and they may be forced to accept having a child if conception and then full pregnancy accidentally occurs. You need to discuss what to do in advance if this should happen, so you are better prepared.
If the Church is against contraception, then its views on termination are probably even worse, meaning an accidental pregnancy will likely result in having to raise a child. Once you have a child, it's too late to enforce that agreement and you have to live with it. Putting children up for adoption is not an easy thing to do emotionally.
The OP also needs to consider his wife's views might change over time as her female nature really starts to assert itself and how this will be addressed.
There are many forms of contraception available and few are 100% effective, so the OP might want to consider using multiple types together if they truly don't want children. Tying of the tubes (for men or women) is the most effective method, however they require surgery and are not reversible which should be kept in mind (although it is possible to harvest and freeze eggs and sperm in advance to use in future).
There's also a female version of the male condom available.
The biggest issue is dealing with Church restrictions in one's life, so perhaps the greatest contraceptive is to leave Church influence and be free to use any of the methods available.
But when you think about it, sexual pleasure is still possible even if you don't engage in penis in vagina intercourse: the OP can use a pocket pussy or equivalent and a dildo on his wife plus all the other forms of sex; it's only a single form of sex that is vulnerable to procreation. Granted that form of sex is the most natural, but not necessarily the most pleasurable for either (see Tantra, G-spot, squirting and multiple prostate orgasms) and it also has its limitations in relying on the health of the penis and stamina of the man.
As for the OP being scared to tell his wife he used condoms, part of the agreement to never have children would necessarily have to include a discussion and agreement of what preventative measures to take and how you would move forward if they proved to be inadequate.
I think the couple needs to have this discussion ASAP.
What the OP's wife doesn't know about the condom usage can't hurt her (in fact it was protecting her), however if condoms end up being the chosen method and for some reason using condoms during the honeymoon comes up or fear about the perceived unprotected consequences, the OP can claim he was thinking of the agreement and her safety by taking the initiative (which is true, the Father facilitated contraception but it was the OP that chose to use them).
@ Gabriel - Are you turning straight? I doubt it. But, like any straight dude, you're focus is on the cock. 😊
Such nonesense ... how can a woman not notice the condom? Is she blind? Even in total darkness she would notice. Who ever thought of such an absurd story?
Anonymous - My situation may seem absurd to you but not everyone is experienced about the opposite sex and how it feels. Maybe she did notice. If she did she didn't say anything.
Post a Comment