"When our son hit puberty waking him fell to me because my wife didn't want to embarrass him due to his morning wood. But I really started his education when I realized he was masturbating. At one point I got him a fleshjack so he could lean how to control his ejaculations and started supplying him with condoms to get him into the habit of using protection. He made the mistake of leaving a box of condoms on his nightstand and his mom saw them. I fessed up about giving them to him but now she's accusing me of encouraging him to have sex. Thank goodness she doesn't know about the fleshjack. But is it telling him it's okay to get laid?"
First off, congratulations on being open and frank with your son about erections, masturbation and using protection. I wouldn't consider supplying condoms as an endorsement for sexual activity --- if you made it clear as to why you started supplying them. And made it clear it's not a green light for sex.
In my opinion, making sure he understands how important it is to use contraception until he's mature enough, and financially responsible enough, to be raising a child is the right thing to do. If he gets into the habit now, it will be second nature when he does start hooking up for sex. And you know that at some point he will. So does your wife.
But using condoms is also practicing safe sex in order to avoid STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) such as HIV/AIDS.
But you also need to remember that women have a tougher time accepting that their male children are growing up and becoming aware of their developing bodies, and the sexual energy that comes along with the territory. They have an easier time with daughters because they must teach them how to deal with menstruation.
So, have a sit-down with your wife and calm her fears. Let her know you're on top of it.
While much has been accomplished since the 80's crisis and the disease can now be managed, and there are medications to assist in avoiding contracting it, it is not gone. I urge you to make a donation to help find a vaccine, to help find a cure.
20 comments:
My Mom yielded the job of waking me to Dad when I started getting morning hard ons. She passed away, and Dad continued to wake me up. He caught me jerking off five or six times, and I'd quickly cover up. Finally, one morning, he walked in, pulled the sheet back, grabbed my rod, and said to never be ashamed to throw a load around home. I asked him if he did it. He hesitated a second, then slid out of his boxers, lay down beside me, a proceeded to pump out own load. I finished myself off, and we lay there together. He said all males do it, but it would be better not to talk about in public, since many people disapproved. They did not have those flesh toys then, but he showed me how to lube my cock, and to use soap in the shower. He also showed me how to put on a rubber. I was so lucky to have such a free and easy relationship with my Dad. I could literally ask him anything about sex, and I'd get an open, honest, unashamed answer.
My mother was the one who I had the main talks with. I got the responsibility talk (contraception, getting tested, consent, having conversation prior etc), the sexuality one and when to say no and what no means.
Everything but the physical stuff. My mother knew that I already knew that side of things from a conversation we had one time on the freeway. I was about 13 or 14 and I asked her why she wasnt pregnant and maybe she should try different positions as they were having sex but I dont have any siblings. Conversation started on the freeway and couple hours later when we got home I was packed up and shipped off to my grandparents for the rest of the week.
What an ambush that would have been for any parent to be confronted by their own child about their sex life while traveling at high speed.
I agree with everything you said. I think it's important for the father and a good thing that he showed his son how and why to use condoms. I think the mother should understand it's better to have that education and ending up getting a girl pregnant.
Well, the convo must be with the wife.
If the father is basically giving the son sex ed, she should be happy, not concerned the father is giving the son a pass to have sex.
XOXO
@ T - That's actually funny. Probably not then, but now....
@ Big Dude - Indeed, you were very lucky to have a father who was that open and honest about everything. 99% of males get zero info from their dads (or moms).
@ Six - Right??? I mean, knowledge is power. Forewarned is forearmed, etc.
@ Maddie - Exactly. her husband is making sure that she doesn't become a grandmother at an early age.
The only education I got was from my mother: "Keep it in your pants."
Yikes T, I guess there is absolutely no good time to talk about any of this with your parents. But you’ll never be sorry that they brought it up to you. PS kids have a great way of adding 1+1 = 3 Hugs and bisous. Brrrr.
@Big Dude: My dad explained that it was normal, but you didn't go on talking about it. But no demonstrations.
I had free condoms at school, when I started cumming in middle school, I use them to masturbate easy place to cum in and not have to clean. My older brother taught me that.
That father in the letter is a good parent. Every man should do this with their son.
Young men need no encouragement to have sex: what they need is encouragement to have safer sex if they decide to do so and getting a young man experienced in using condoms beforehand and with the fleshlight so the actual experience of sex is not so much of a surprise compared to his hand, will reduce some of the associated consequences of inexperience at the beginning.
Having greater access to a more normal sexual experience via the fleshlight, instead of relying on a woman to consent to sex, starts to undo the monopoly and total control women have on male sexual fulfilment. Whilst sex with another person is considered the ultimate, it should be pointed out to a young man that he doesn't need to be so eager to have sex, because the alternative, under his own control, is not so much better when it depends entirely on the other person to consent to it: a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush, as they say.
In times past, Fathers used to take their sons to the local prostitute for their first experience, thus saving young women from the trial and error of complete inexperience whilst ensuring young men a less anxious first experience. I think there was much merit in that process, but times are different now and we still bear the scars of the Victorian attitudes.
It worries me that women seem to want to completely control sex with men as though it is an unpleasant experience they need to avoid as much as possible, except for the purposes of procreation. I do not understand why this occurs.
As for giving the task to wake up an adolescent boy to Dad, so as not to embarass him, it sounds more like Mothers don't want that task because it embarasses or causes shame to them, when it is a perfectly natural male biological response. I think women need the talk too or else come clean about their actual feelings in this matter of symbolic sex.
Whkattk has often said he has nothing, but what an opportunity to have ongoing discussions about what and when to teach boys about the reality of biology, instead of leaving it to chance discovery and playing catchup, and the current situation of women being so selective about sex, leaving many men in the wilderness of sexual experience because having sex with a woman is all up to the woman. The discussion could also branch out into the extra difficulties faced by men who want to have sex with men and the issue of diversity.
It's rather disturbing that there are still issues with male to female sex, after many millennia of experimentation, let alone homosexuality or men who have sex with men and now diverse people being added to the mix.
Oh, speaking of AIDS, PEPFAR is next in the fanatics' sights.
@Anonymous. I did not WANT my mother waking me up at that point.
My grandpa talk about sex with my dad was when he drove him to the local prostitute for his first experience with his older brothers! So he talked with me as a fathers should, how to use a condoms and show me his stash in the garage, nice stuff!
@ Anon, December 1, 2023 at 8:41 PM - I remember when schools used to have bowls filled with condoms available for the students. Sadly, due to the complaints of a few, most have stopped the practice and the majority pay the consequences.
@ naked swimmer - It figures....
@ Anon, December 2, 2023 at 7:58 PM - Taking a son to a prostitute for his first encounter was common practice for many a generation. It took the pressure off the parents to explain everything.
he should educate his wife too!
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