Friday, April 29, 2011

Schweddy Balls


If you’ve seen the SNL skit with Alec Baldwin, you’re already laughing! (If you've never seen it, it's available on YouTube and worth the five minutes.) But, as they say in the comedy business, there’s always more than a grain of truth in it. And so it is with this. Men’s balls sweat. It can cause chafing of the ballsac and cock and itching (especially if you don’t shave your balls – the wet hair makes the itching worse), and contributes to and can make male yeast infections worse. Very uncomfortable. And – pay attention here, ladies – one of the major reasons guys are always scratching and adjusting: sweaty, itchy balls.
Due to a medication I take on a daily basis I sweat like a horse that has run the Triple Crown in one continuous race, even though (when I’m employed) I’m basically a desk-jockey. Perspiration runs like a river from my balls and the crack of my ass. It drenches my trunk briefs so badly you could wring them out. If I don’t have an opportunity to shower off and change in the middle of the day my pants look like I’ve done a three-hour gym work-out; dark, wet, sweat marks run from ass-crack to crotch. Not a pretty, or professional, sight.

About a month ago I heard some local morning DJ’s joking around about having been given a sample tube of Fresh Balls. Then, in the middle of the joking, they admitted to actually using it, found it worked, and lamented they’d left it behind over the weekend when the studio moved to a new location. I logged on and did a Google search, fully expecting to find it to be one of those gag gifts you buy for a buddy or a family member; one to make him open in front of everyone so you can all have a laugh at his expense. To my surprise, it’s a real product! And it truly works!
I’ve been using this stuff for a couple weeks now. I can attest that it lives up to the claims. My balls stay perfectly dry – even if I’m doing some type of physical activity. And because my butt-crack sweats as much as my balls, I’ve found it works just as well for that. It’s fairly inexpensive, a tube lasts about a month and it’s worth every penny!
It goes on as a liquid and, as you rub it on with the palms of your hands, it dries to a silky-smooth powder. It contains no Aluminum. It will not clog your pores – meaning it has no Paraben wax in the mixture. It contains no Silicone – meaning it won’t build up into an unsightly mess. If you’re an animal lover, you’ll be happy to know this product was never tested on animals, only men (now, now, ladies, be nice!).
Finally! A solution for sweaty balls! Fresh Balls™.

Just as Mikey in those old Life cereal commercials, try it; you’ll like it!

And for you ladies out there who suffer from dampness in the cleavage or under the breasts - they also have Fresh Breasts™.

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