Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Double Standards?


It must be the month to release new sex study research. Well, why not? It is Masturbation Month. Here’s another new one, but I take issue with some of the outcome – yet only from an acceptance standpoint. I mean, if it’s okay for the ladies without getting labeled, why isn’t it okay for us guys?; sort of “what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander” kind of thing.
This new study, released in the Journal of Sex Research, found that more than half of straight women aged 18 to 23 have kissed another female. Study author Elizabeth Morgan, Ph.D., says girl-on-girl action is much more common and socially acceptable now without the stigma of being labeled ‘lesbian.’ “In today’s culture,” she states, “Women can stay heterosexual and engage in same-sex activities.”
Okay – I’m all for that. But why is it, when men engage in male-male activity – even if it’s as innocent as jacking off in the same room – it is instantly labeled as ‘gay?’ I know it’s not a secret that a lot of guys find it highly arousing to watch two women go at it and it never enters their minds to label them as anything but straight. Fine. Wonderful. Yet if two guys admit to charming the one-eyed snake together, whether they lend each other a bit of a hand with the stroking or not, their sexual orientation is immediately called into question.
I definitely call Bullshit on that! I agree the mindset is changing, albeit slower than the polar ice caps are melting. That’s not good enough, or fast enough. Men should at least be able to get into mutual whack off sessions without being called gay. And the saddest part of it: it’s other men who are demeaning these guys by placing labels, much more-so than women.
The atmosphere stunts personal growth – for both parties. The detractors stay ignorant and those straight men, who enjoy an occasional romp with other guys (and we all know there’s a lot of them out there who have done it on the down-low, and probably just as many who are curious and want to but are afraid of being found out, ridiculed, and labeled), are forced to denounce and deny desire and pleasure or live life in fear.

This is a double-standard we could certainly do without. The more men who admit they like a bit of brotherly boner once in a while the sooner this inequality amongst the sexes can be dispelled and dispatched.

6 comments:

Rubio said...

You've really hit on an interesting point. The sad fact is that we have a lot of what I call gender inequality between the sexes. Women have a huge range of acceptable gender flexibility but men are allowed very little of the same. Women can cross-dress at work (wear pants and a tie). What would happen if a man wore a skirt to work? (fired probably). Similarly, bi women are worshipped by str8 males, but bi men are shunned by str8 women. Str8 women can touch each other and share secrets about their sex lives, but men are hardly allowed to even touch another guy w/o the gay label being applied. This crap needs to change. This is just me, but I think the problem is that we men let women define for us what is masculine as opposed to defining it ourselves. We men have a feminine side just like women have a masculine side. We should be allowed to show it, for one thing. Oh I could go on and on, so bye for now.

Anonymous said...

Rubio,
If u think women are the ones responsible for defining gender roles and culturably/socialably acceptable expression, you've not been paying attention. Women's sexual expression in ANY form has througghout history been defined by men. This latest f/f craze is a straight man fetish. Quit blaming women for men's fears and power issues

Rubio said...

Hey Anon, I'm paying a lot of attention, but you aren't. I'm not blaming women I'm blaming men. Diagram the sentence. I said that we men let women define gender. It's our fault for that. We men should be a lot more comfortable in touching each other, being naked together, and just being playful without wondering what others (including women) might think about it. I notice that you did not disagree with my comment about how str8 men fully accept bi women but not the other way around. My point about gender flexibility inequality stands. No offense.

Sassy said...

There are a lot of sad repressed people out there, of both sexes.

IMO women are actually a lot more open to men being gay or bi-sexual than most men.

Of course that may just be the crowd I hang with...

Amanda said...

As I said in an earlier comment, I'd much prefer to watch two men together than a man and a woman. I've found most women don't agree with me (or won't admit it) but still.

There are other double standards though--what about the fact that if a guy gets a lot of tail, other guys are like "You go man!" and such but a gal who gets a lot of tail is a slut?

nakedswimmer said...

I'm Lakota, and it's really just seen as normal to jerk off with other guys, especially during puberty. But penetration, everyone will assume a bottom is trans.

The double standards against wen who get laid a lot are in full force, however.