I know I’ll probably take some heat for this one, but… I realized the posts of two days last week were a natural lead-in for a subject I’ve touched on. There are multiple sides to this situation:
Guys (like me) who wish their dads had introduced them, or taught them how to jack off; men who would have preferred not to stumble across it and struggle with whether it’s ‘normal.’
Guys whose dads talked to them about beating their meat – some with positive connotations, some negative – and wish they hadn’t.
Guys who saw dad jacking off, didn’t say anything and now wish they had.
Guys who’ve been ‘caught’ by their sons while charming the one-eyed snake and freaked out about it – or didn’t.
Guys who’ve ‘caught’ their sons flogging the log, reacted badly and now wish they hadn’t.
Men who say their fathers not only told them, but showed them.
And those men who’ve actually pounded the pud openly with their fathers/sons and, sometimes, lent each other a hand while doing so.
I know it’s a touchy subject and I realize it could fall into the realm of incest and/or sexual abuse – both taboo in most societies. There’s a huge discussion on this in the Just Us Boys forums that’s been ongoing since before I joined the site (it’s free, BTW). The posts in this subject run the gamut of the list above and I found it to be very interesting.
As I indicated above, I sure wish my dad had been more forthcoming about that little hunk of wonderment. Thank God I had an older brother to teach me what to do, even though everything he knew he learned from the street. And some of the info was way off base (which can be hazardous to one’s health). But brothers are good for something; lots of them jack off together and that’s a good thing.
I still think it’s not just important for fathers to instruct their sons on how to put a proper grip on the snake, I feel it’s their duty; a responsibility. It becomes an opportunity to teach them how to treat it with respect, how to take care of it, what to do with it, and how to wring every possible ounce of pleasure from it.
When I was a kid in Boy Scouts, our leader owned a huge camp ground in eastern PA. There were two instances this guy caught me with my proud prick in my hand. Once in the outhouse, slumped down on the bench, pounding away and all he did was say “Oops, sorry,” while I squeaked out, “I’ll be done in a minute,” (and yeah, I was just about to blast my cum all over the floor when he yanked the door open). The second time a bunkmate and I were comparing boners and had just started a little bit of a jack fest. Again the leader didn’t say anything except, “get dressed and come out to the main campsite.” Even he had an opportunity he didn’t seize – though word around the troop was he and the older guys who bunked in the main cabin with him got into many a group jack off together at night.
Guys when given the chance to teach their sons should take it willingly and seriously. Explain it at the very least; demonstrate at the most. There are some excellent solo DVD’s a guy could pop in for his kid to watch (Body Image Productions and Legend Men may arguably be the best of the bunch). A word of warning though: If there is any thought of initiating a reaching out to lend your son a hand, don’t. If your kid reaches over to grab a handful of yours, well…It’s not unheard of, but proceed with all due caution and tread lightly.
16 comments:
Damn, am I ever glad I have all girls! I don't think the Sailor would ever be able to have those talks with a son, I'd have to do it and that would just be weird, if not truamatizing to the boy! But I do agree, I think it's the father place to inform their son of the do's & don't's for health reasons if no other. No kid, boy or girl, should have to rely on self discovery to learn about the human body. I also believe that the parents should inform their child of the in's & out's of the opposite sex. The less curiosity there is the less likly they will do something that may potential harm them.
The only thing I don't agree with is the helping hand between sons and fathers if the son is still a minor. They don't have to touch the father to learn, they have one of their own. As far as demonstrating on yourself for your son. Well..there are so many factors involved it's touchy too. As long as the parent uses sound judgement and doesn't make the son uncomfortable there shouldn't be an issue.
I'm not judging anyone, not do I mean to offend anyone. It's just my opinion. But Who am I?
~CoreyJo
CoreyJo: Who are you??? One VERY smart lady, that's who! Mutual touching between a father and son, if the son is under the age of consent (varies by state), could cause many, many problems.
A friend of mine, who happens to be a Dr and a Native American Tribal Leaders did indeed demostrate for all of his sons; he said it was tradition for NA to take this responsibility for their male children's education.
An example of the differences in culture throughout the world, I guess.
Thanks Hon. I think it's great about your friend and his keeping with a cultural tradition. Maybe if we, the American melting pot, had a few more cultural traditions from the old days, things wouldn't be so bad today. And maybe our youth wouldn't be such a lost generation. Society evolves through teaching, and if we as parents don't take the responsibility to educate our own children we have no one to blame for future societal issues other than ourselves.
A little off topic, but hey, I'm a gabby kinda gal. :)
CoreyJo
My wife came to me one evening upset. "You need to have a talk with your son!" she said. "About what?" I asked. "I just walked in on him and he was abusing himself!" I asked, "Did you knock first?" "I'm his Mother!" she responded. "Makes no difference. He's not your "little" boy now." I went up to his room and told him everyone does it but he should either use the lock on his door or start taking care of that when he was in the shower. We'd had the sex talk a year earlier. I told him about safe sex, oral sex, condoms and intercourse but he learned masturbation from one of his pals (same way I did). Not sure I'd do it any different if I had a do over. When I was young the sight of adult men with such large genetalia in the public pool locker rooms always intimidated me into feeling inadequate. Better he should compare notes with someone in his own stage of development.
i wish my dad had done what anon (above) dad's did. explain to me at an early age what would happen, then find me a book i could have referred to. dad wasn't disapproving (i think he found it amusing when he first caught me jacking at age 9), but i just wish he had taken specific actions so i could have been better educated.
Can you give a link to that forum thread? would be interested to take a look at it but can't seem to track it down on JUB. Thanks!
Any stories from "show and tell" in which one is cut and the other is uncut? Often there is a generational difference there.
Though my father gave no instruction, both he and I had intact penises, which gave me some assurance when most of the boys my age in the locker room were circumcised.
Anon@8/7, 8:18 - Sorry about that. I meant to link to and missed it. It's there now...
Anon 8/5, 12:50 - Comparing notes with guys his own age is fine, but imagine if you would've included masturbation into that sex talk a year earlier. As far as his mother's reaction - well, unfortunately, women need a lot more education on the topic of boys and their penises. I hope your son didn't react badly to her poor reaction!
Anon 8/5, 2:28 - Yeah, proper education, as CoreyJo stated, always improves people's situations. I think dads are just too embarrassed to impart these things and most of them figure "If I had to learn it on my own, my son(s) can do the same thing;" very sad, but true more often than not.
Uncutplus - Yep, in my case it would've been nice. Especially since my dad and brother are both intact. When I had the temerity to ask why, I was simply told, "You'll know when you're older." Well, what a joke that was; that info was never imparted either.
Whkattk - even after having been cut years ago, you have a choice.
I didn't figure out until I was a (cut) teenager, that American medicine is full of stupid people. Some jerky doctor told my dad he needed to be cut, when I was about 15, and my dad was miserable after that. But like most dads, he wouldn't explain to his son what was going on.
I finally channeled my resentment into doing a foreskin restore (started 3 months ago). Wish dad had been forthcoming about this topic when I was a teenager.
Anon 8/8, 11:32 - Foreskin restoration takes a lot of perseverance and patience. Yet, it's worth it for those men who feel they have lost something essential.
I'm sorry your father, like so many others in this world, refused to take the time to talk to you about what he was going through.
I hope your restoration goes well. I'd love to have someone who is going through this process write about it for my readers...
I've jacked off with my real father (Dana). We lived in his studio apartment. It was rather difficult to hide it. My dad also showed me how. I kept urinating, instead of ejaculating my semen. My dad instructed me, while I followed. We only stroked ourselves, no touching. This was before Smartphones. I had never seen a man ejaculate, so it was a bit of a shock watching my dad go. It was an awesome “father and son bonding” experience. I was elated to finally cum. Sharing this with my dad - ejaculating my first time - was pretty cool! More father's need to “man up,” and help their sons out. My dad is my best friend and I'd assume this is one reason. My father had an “open” door policy. We'd also regularly jack off together. More guys should try it. coreymhaines1971@gmail.com
Three photos missing.
Put me on team "never jerked with Dad, never wanted to".
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