Balls. Beautiful balls.

No, I haven’t lost track of time; I’m not confused thinking it’s Buddy Ball Check Day already.

A reader sent this suggestion. And I thought it was a good one, because maybe – just maybe – if you guys realize how much fun you can have with these funny little spheres, you’ll appreciate them more.

My nuts are small and never did produce any useful swimmers (due to childhood illnesses). And they’re almost always riding high, trying to pull themselves up into the inguinal canal (particularly when I cum), which is a bit painful and makes them ache like a mo’ fo. My doctor has been trying to find a urologist who will agree to remove them and give me some decent-sized implants; so far no luck. I get stares when I’m anywhere naked and I’ve even had a couple guys ask me what happened, why I don’t have any balls. I have to tell them, “Oh they’re there. They’re tiny and tight, but they’re there.” A couple of times I’ve yanked ‘em back down into view to prove it.

But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying them. Add that ache to the ache we guys get when our baby-batter factories are telling us it’s time to empty them and… well.

I love playing with mine. Pocket Pool is one of my favorite past-times (okay, sometimes I’m just trying to dig them out and pull them back down). If I’m spending the day working up that big load of cum, I can shove a hand between my legs and squeeze and massage and tap, sending wonderful vibrations through them. Those vibrations always register in the head of my prick. When I’m lying on my bed or on the floor, legs spread wide, with my cock pointing at the ceiling, it feels awesome to bounce my man-berries with a couple of fingers while my other hand is sliding up and down that rigid rod.

If I’m standing in the shower and I’ve got them all nice and warm and dangling low, it feels really good to swing them back and forth, or lift them up, let go and feel them drop and bounce against my legs. Soaping them up and squeezing and massaging, creates the most wonderful sensations.

And, Ladies…This is why men complain, in anonymous polls or to each other, that women don’t pay enough attention to their balls when they’re giving us that hand job or blow job.

If I’ve got a buddy along for a good stroke session, it feels so good to have him play with my nuts. If I can get him to lick them and suck on them, it’s a huge bonus!

But for as much as we enjoy having someone play with them, we seem to get caught up in that ‘death grip’ ourselves when we jack off, rubbing our cocks raw; we forget about the boys and how much pleasure they can give.

So, here’s an assignment. Oh, don’t complain – they’re always fun, you guys always enjoy them in the end, don’t you?

The next time you kick back to stroke your stiff stick, or you get with a buddy to whack off together, pay more attention to The Boys. Bounce them, swing them, massage them; like Tom Green’s lyrics for The Ball Song, squeeze your balls, tease your balls. Make them feel good. Enjoy the heaviness in them for a while before you blast out that load of cum.

And all you Ladies out there – don’t wait for your guy to ask because chances are he won’t. Don’t make him ask (unless we’ve got a bit of good old-fashioned domination going on) – play with his nuts.

But, on the other hand, all you straight guys out there – if your lady isn’t paying enough attention, she’s not bouncing your balls at all, tell her how good it would feel, how much you like having your balls played with.

That seems to be another problem we men have…We don’t express what we like, what feels good; we don’t ask for what we want. But that’s a post for another day. In the meantime, jiggle them and enjoy them! Your boys will appreciate it and reward you for it.

Start Stiff

Well, good Monday morning. I hope everyone had a terrific weekend! It was kind of quiet around here. We didn't do anything special. As a matter of fact, I didn't do anything - which means I have no pithy post for you. But, never fear I did get in a couple of really good, satisfying sessions with my best buddy. Saturday was especially rewarding - 13 good strong spurts that drenched me in warm splashes of liquid love.

Here's a few pictures to get you through. This is the way I love starting my day; waking up to my morning wood, thick and hard, sometimes letting it lead me out to the back yard to take that morning piss; sometimes just throwing off the blankets and sheets, wrapping my hands around it and getting off a good load - which always seems to put me in a good mood for the entire day.

Give Thanks

This lovely gentleman is courtesy of CoreyJo at Corey's Dark Corner

Just a quick one to say Happy Thanksgiving to all - even if you're "across the pond." Give thanks for wood wherever or whenever it happens!

Men and Toys

We love our toys, don’t we boys? The cock rings, the vibrators, the prostate wands. But nothing seems to grab our attention (or our dicks) more than the masturbation sleeve. There’re hundreds to choose from. But not much in the way of a device that will allow us to lie back and let it do all the hard work on that hard-on.

I know I’ve mentioned my old AccuJac more than once through the posts. I’ve tried to explain what it looked like, but I always thought the description was lacking. Well, lo and behold! as I was surfing the web, I found a picture of one… In use!

I don’t think any company has been able to come up with anything even close to comparable. The AccuJac could be infinitely controlled –  how far it stroked up and down the shaft, the speed with which it slid – from like 0 to 60 and every point in between. You didn’t need to keep a hand on it either; it never slipped off the end of your cock. Then you could shove your hard-on as far into the sleeve (which you ordered to your own specific measurements) and, if you held it there steady [through any means], it sucked your dick like a Hoover.

They just don’t make toys for us boys like they used to, do they? I mean, sure, there’s the FleshJack and the Tenga, but you have to grab onto them and stroke them over your cock, or sandwich them between couch cushions or pillows or between the mattress and box springs to be able to thrust as if you were fucking. There are a variety of vacuum pumps, but they’re essentially the same; you do all the work. And for guys who don’t have easy access to that jack off bud, or fuck buddy it can get wearisome. They’d like to be able to lie back once in a while and just be…well, be serviced.

You’d think with today’s technologies some company could come up with a cost effective (read inexpensive, affordable - Funways has reintroduced the AccuJac as RoboJac, but at $600 they're very expensive) toy for men that would accomplish just that; something like the AccuJac that could jack a guy off without him lifting a finger, or make him feel like someone was down there and sucked that load of cum right out of him while all he had to do was lie back, put his hands up under his head, and enjoy it.

Until someone comes up with something cheaper, the best alternative for being able to lie back and relax while you get your rocks off is still another pair of hands.

Hotel Jack Off

In last Thursday’s post I mentioned whacking off a huge load and leaving messy sheets for the maid to deal with the next morning and it reminded me of an overnight hotel stay I had when I was still 17.

I’ve certainly done my share of jacking off in hotel rooms. Sometimes I remembered to bundle up the towels I’ve used to wipe up cum; but there have also been times I haven’t given a shit and the sheets will have gotten splattered beyond redemption. When that happened I was always good about leaving a decent tip for the housekeeping staff – it’s only fair, right? I mean how many cum-soaked beds do those people change on a daily basis? The least we can do, guys, is leave a little extra cash for their trouble, especially considering not all of them might be that into cleaning up our spunk.

A buddy and I had gone out on a Friday night. He didn’t have a car and I drove the 20 miles out to his place to pick him up. We had a terrific time and I got him back home way after curfew – the poor guy actually got grounded and his folks decided I was too much of a bad influence on him and he wasn’t permitted to go anywhere with me for a long time.

Pretty funny because he’d always been the instigator, but you know how parents can be; that couldn’t have been their son who ripped his pants off, ran butt naked along the highway and stopped to take a piss on the center stripe, no way!

Anyway, I was really tired and not just a little bit drunk. Instead of taking the chance of driving all the way home, or getting pulled over for drunk driving, underage no less, I checked into this little motel not far from his house. I paid cash and the clerk didn’t bat an eye as he handed me the key. I got to the room, dropped my clothes on the floor and flopped onto the bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Being a horny teenager and sporting the proverbial perpetual hard-on, I woke up with a huge, hot, raging, rock-hard cock. God! it felt so good! I ground it into the mattress a few times and realized there was plastic under the sheet. Sounded weird, but it sure felt good. I spent a large amount of time thrusting my dick between my belly and the bed, feeling my balls drag back and forth lightly against the sheet.

I rolled over onto my back, wrapped a hand around my shaft and stroked real slowly and used my other hand to play with my aching nuts. I heard the housekeeping cart outside the room but didn’t think anything of it until I heard this deep voice say, “Well, whatever feels good, dude.” Turns out I’d left the drapes partially open. Oops.

But I was way too into my cock to even care. The pre-cum was flowing like a waterfall and I just kept stroking away. I rolled over onto my stomach again and thrust my cock against the mattress. It didn’t take long for all that natural lube to soak the sheet and get the plastic nice and slippery. I pulled one of the pillows up under my torso and kept boning the mattress for all I was worth. I mean, my hips were rocking, my butt cheeks were clenching, and my balls were dragging against the material at an ever-increasing speed. I felt myself go over the edge and plunged my cock forward under me and spewed out this humongous load of jizz. And I just kept on thrusting. It felt so damn good. I don’t know how loud I was when I blew my batter, but I know I was moaning and gasping for breath as I slid my cock through that warm pool of cum.

It must’ve taken a good thirty minutes for my dick to wilt even a little, and when I rolled over it was still standing at half-mast. I wrapped my hand around that baby, worked it up into a full-blown boner and blasted out another load. Fifteen minutes later I showered off, dressed and left.

The “maid” waved and told me to “be sure to have a good day” as I crawled into my car. I don’t know if he stood and watched through the drapes or not, but he sure as hell had some really messy cum-soaked sheets and one huge pool of jizz on that plastic mattress cover waiting to greet him. And not even a tip for having to clean it all up.

Shit. I haven’t thought about Chad in years and years. Of course, the next time I saw him I told him about the whole thing. He laughed and told me he wished he could’ve been there – he would’ve added to the lake of jizz. Which surprised me because, though, like most teenage guys, we always talked about jacking off, we’d never done so together. And, come to think of it, we never did. Damn shame too, cause he had a nice dick (we’d been in locker rooms together).

It’s a shame I was so young and inexperienced. Today, not only would I be inviting him to go to the room with me for a good cock-to-cock worship session, I’d have been inviting the “maid” in to join us!