It amazes me that people send questions but, at the same time, I'm grateful they trust all of us to guide them when we can.
"I'm a hetero cisgender male. I think thats all the right jargon. But I love jerking it with guys. I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me. Should I tell her or do I keep it under wraps?"
If you mean to say you are a straight dude who is comfortable with the genitals you were born with, I believe you got it right. Now, do you tell her you enjoy jacking off with men?
I don't know your girlfriend, so it's difficult for me to say. A scene in The Sinner last night had Matt Bomer's character confessing to his wife that he and a college buddy tried having sex once, "but it didn't work out, for either of us." His wife found the idea hot, "really hot." Cut to: Bomer and wife getting it on.
On the other hand, the reaction could be horror. Then what do you do? Promise to never stroke cock with anyone again? Break up? It could turn out like the guy who wrote in some months ago. The two wives found out and not only found it "hot" they insisted their guys put on a show for them. Are you ready for that?
So, first, you have to figure out what your reaction to her reaction will be. Personally, I would be upfront before any proposal. That gives you the opportunity to work out an agreeable future together that may
or may not
include you continuing to stroke cock with the guys.
What are your thoughts, Readers?
13 comments:
if you want to do it again and often, you should tell her. If you don't want to do it anymore, it's not worth it!
Definitely be upfront and then let the chips fall where they may.
I believe you gave the right answer. As always communication is key and then comes honesty. Of course these two can be intertwined.
I suppose if a guy likes to stroke the cock of another guy he may not be really interested in having sex with a woman. I truly believe that is the product or result of watching too many porno movies. It makes no sense in reality. My opinion only of course.
Better to get it out in the open before the proposal. Struggling to keep such a secret could be explosive when it does come out, and it inevitably will.
I"m a gay man so this may not help your reader. However , as I was married to a woman for 17 years, ANYthing you hide is not good for you or her. I also had a few straight men who enjoyed jacking off but I always wondered in the right situation would they do more. If you have ZERO doubts that you are completely straight and not bi or gay, then you should be up front with her and have this conversation. If you have ANY doubts about your sexuality, then consider that first and decide how she would deal. I have a friend who decided he was bi before he married his wife. He came out and she admitted she was also. They still have an amazing marriage and sex life years later. Only you know her and what she might say. Good luck either way.
If he is certain that she will never learn it, he can give it a try, but I don't know what can justify this certainty. Women are perspicacious. And men cannot remain on guard non stop for the rest of their life. Lying is not the solid and lasting basis of a marriage.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
If having the freedom to wank with a buddy from time to time is an important part of his life - something that he will want to continue because he really enjoys it, then I think it would be important that his future wife is open-minded and mature enough to be cool with it.
I hope all is well with you my dear Friend. Wishing you a bonerific day! Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
100% correct. Be a man and tell her what you like doing BEFORE you propose.
She will eventually figure things out, it happens and if her reaction after the marriage goes poorly, you both will be hurt.
Divorce? Property settlements? Children?
Yikes...tell her, otherwise stop doing it. One cannot honestly have her in the dark about you grabbing another guys cock routinely.
What if the shoe were on the other foot? How would you feel if she had secret sex escapes? Ouch.
I don't really know about this one.
Many girls think that if a guy likes to have his butt touched he's gay, so imagine learning the man they're marrying likes to get off with other guys? It make freak her out.
One thing though: if this is something he REALLY likes and does often, he may have to have the convo. There is no way he could keep that from her once they get married. It may be that she finds it hot, like Matt's wife in the Sinner and they'll be off to a good pounding. But it may be she freaks out. Better to know before he puts a ring on it.
XOXO
I think you have to tell her before asking her to marry you. If she freaks out and you decide to never jack again with buds you're going to come to resent her interference with your desires. I was raised in a home where my gay dad gave up that side of his nature and struggled with that decision the rest of his life.
According to my two sons younger folks are more open to this full sexuality. We all agree that he should tell her before proposing. The response may be a very pleasant surprise. - Dad and the 2 R's
Secrets are a rotten foundation for a relationship. And we know what happens to things built on bad foundations.
Unfortunately never had many bate buds, and find it difficult to find them. However it seems I'd prefer buddies that were single and not married.
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