"We have two kids. The oldest my son from a previous marriage and we have a daughter together. Like a lot of normal males his age my son wakes up with a solid erection that doesn't recede until he pees. He walks from his room to the bathroom and my wife is concerned our daughter will see it. Will it really scar our daughter if she sees her older brother dashing into the bathroom with an erection?"
I know I posted about this issue last year sometime. Or, it was at least a similar situation.
Anyway, let's see.... You don't say how old your daughter or son are, but you know his morning wood is normal. The sight won't scar her if you don't make a big deal about it. Kids are pretty accepting when adults don't panic, when parents are honest and don't lie, when they explain that something is normal.
So, morning wood is normal. Your son can no more stop that than he could stop a freight train.
The best way to handle explaining to your daughter if or when she asks is to tell her the truth. It's just something that happens to boys when they sleep. Just like an arm or a leg, the penis needs blood, and that is what happens. It's normal and nothing for her to be concerned about.
15 comments:
Yup, it's completely normal and happens literally to everyone 😏
Can't stop it even if you wanted to 🤷♂️
You always have good advice. (And great pix!)
Great advice, my Dear Friend. Treat natural normal things naturally and kids are okay - better that they understand what's going on and to KNOW THE TRUTH! I wish you a phabby weekend. All the very best to you and yours, Hugs Licks, and Strokes, AOM
I like the paragraph starting by "Anyway, let's see… "
That being said, Anyway, let she see.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a wondrous weekend.
Ummm... buy him a robe. And then explain why he needs to wear it in the morning.
This is an example of a worrying trend: people (predominantly women) being offended by something in their environment and automatically expecting the source to change instead of the recipient taking action to avoid them.
Offense is something manufactured in your head in response to external stimuli that you personally don't like: it is something YOU are doing, not whatever is out there. Unless the stimuli are within your personal space, or impacting on your life in a tangible way, the stimuli are not accountable for your feelings.
If you had a pre-menstrual daughter, would you wait until she is traumatised by her first period, or would you educate her in advance that it is a natural bodily function that she shouldn't be afraid of and how to deal with it? Why would it be so different if a son or other male in the household is involved? These are natural bodily functions which, if you feel offended by, you should accept or avoid, not expect the source to suppress or be ashamed of them.
It astounds me that families are not preparing in advance of having children by having an education plan in place and/or facilities suitable to providing individual privacy as the age of the child may dictate, to minimise chance of "offensive" incidents.
Why is it that no concern is expressed about a daughter potentially seeing her Father rush to the bathroom with an erection, yet a teenage son is of concern? Think about the situation you are creating by your own actions (or inaction), not the normal bodily functions that we experience.
That daughter is going to need to deal with more than a siblings erection in adult life, so advance preparation is necessary, at the appropriate time, for a minimum of traumatic or offended reaction. It's often easier to prepare someone for what they might see in a general sense, than it is to engineer avoidance for a specific incident.
The same applies to women uncomfortable/offended with normal male bodily functions and vice versa: men actually have junk to adjust downstairs, at times, to be comfortable; our splayed legs are to not painfully compress that junk when sitting down (you don't see men standing up with legs together partly for the same reason); and we get erections at inconvenient times outside our control.
My parents failure to put a lock on the bathroom door or prepare family members to accept nudity resulted in a traumatic incident when I inadvertently opened the door on my naked Mother (offensive for her, not for me).
Firstly, huge KUDOS to the dad (presumably also to his son's mother) and to his current wife, that they have created a home atmosphere where the boy feels totally free to walk unselfconsciously to the bathroom, naked and with a morning woody. There's no way that he should have to stop doing that. Your advice is absolutely right to speak to him first, to let him know that they are going to explain it their daughter, and that it's perfectly natural, normal, and nothing to get freaked-out about.
Buy 2 portable urinals, because teen boys can be a little irresponsible, like emptying the urinal out in the toilet daily. Explain why they are necessary and see that the son sticks [no pun intended] with the plan. Cheaper than a robe or, for that matter, therapy.
I agree with Uptonking - buy him a robe and explain to him what it's for. Nudity might be fine in the household when sleeping or in the bedroom, but in public spaces - show a little modesty.
Several readers suggested wearing a robe. It never entered my head to suggest it. I guess, I assumed the lad was clothed in some manner as he made his dash to the bathroom.
It's all about privacy: ensure that teenage children have their own bedroom with ensuite and an ability to lock the door and all associated problems are solved.
I'm not sure a portable urinal is very effective for a young lad with a boner and a robe merely obscures visibility of the flesh, not the form, so questions will still need to be answered. An ensuite allows relief where cleanup is easy, no-one gets offended and the lad learns responsibility in cleaning up after himself as he is the only one exposed to the results of sloth.
it doesn't matter whether it happens or not (it never happened to me for example, not least because I masturbated a lot). it is important that the parents first have a normal and not distressing attitude.
@ Anon - good solution if the parents can afford to provide an ensuite. You're absolutely correct that the robe would hide the flesh but not the form.
Portable urinals never worked for me here. Mostly because at that age, my erections were constant and often so strong it was painful. The problem is, urinals bend in the opposite direction. And quite frankly having my penis inside anything made my mind to straight to the gutter, making my erection harder.
Being a country boy, we had a country solution, at least in warmer months. I would just put on my robe, walk out back, open it, and piss. If it was really hot, I made a little peplum I could wear.
I have to praise this new generation of parenting. I grew up in a prude and toxic home due to my father parenting skills. Shame was the rule. My PTSD results from the time he caught me with a boner that I promptly hid and he got furious. I sobbed sorry and his response was I should be sorry and ashamed of my baby toy and I should keep it hided because it would be bad for him if someone assume I inherited from him, which he pointed out was not the case, and in reality it was my mother side to blame.
Back to the question, I think a robe would only function if he's got an upward or a downward, but not a straight forward boner.
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