"I've read your blog for a couple of years now and have never seen this addressed. Weird situation and I'm confused. Our sex life is great but I found out that my husband masturbates to m-m porn. He and our oldest son who is gay will sometimes watch together. Does this mean my husband is actually bi?"
Here's the short answer: No.
The vast majority of pornography is produced for men. It's all about transference. Guys will watch and can imagine or fantasize themselves into the situation. Straight porn videos pretty much always concentrate the camera on the man. Especially for the cum shot. It's always been dubbed "the money shot" because it's what sells the most.
It's not a weird situation at all. If you think about it, with M-M they get that money shot doubled.
Or tripled.
Or more.
What do you think, Readers?
25 comments:
I think there is too much time still spent on labels. People like what they like. I think most men in general will not pass p watching on screen or in life another guy milk his cock. But it doesn't mean he's bi or gay. Men or just men.
Short answer? No.
Long answer? No, it's not weird. Porn is porn. If somebody is very visual, porn is gonna turn them on. If I like the man, I'd watch straight porn. I want the man. The girl just happens to be there...
XOXO
Rather than doing something that would make the situation worse, it is better to do nothing.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
I'll take a triple. Thanks, dear. Kizzes.
AS others have commented here and there, if you ask a straight man what he watches when he's watching porn, its the cock-- sliding in here or there, being fondled, being stroked. And the bigger the cock the more popular the 'straight' video.
So men watch porn, straight or not, to watch guys, to watch their cocks, to watch them cum.
Straight or not!
--PaulMmn
Now... are Mr. Husband and #1 son trading hands yet?
--PaulMmn
Who's the guy at the bar being asked what kind of porn he watches?
I agree with you that the answer is probably no, but more importantly I wonder why does it matter? If she's been attending to your blog for several years or many of the other recent articles on sexuality, she should be aware that there's a whole spectrum of sexuality, not just a binary Gay/Straight. They have obviously been married long enough to have an adult son, so I'm guessing there is a lot of compatibility between her and her husband. Has something changed in their relationship that this now is a concern to her? Does the fact that her husband watches gay porn with their son, and they masturbate together bother her? Men masturbate. She should have a frank, and non-judgemental conversation with her husband.
Porn is very much a guy's thing. Women complain there is no plot. Netflix has changed that.
Hugs and bisous.
even if he was bisexual, would that be a problem?
@ Six, @ Paul - Yep. That's pretty much all guys care about seeing in their porn. Give 'em the hard cock, give 'em the cum shot.
@ Xersex, @ William - she didn't say whether it bothered her or not.
@ Jean - It is changing. The industry is realizing if they add a plot with decent actors they expand their customer base. Smart, if you ask me! Hugs and bisous.
@ Paul - I don't know who it is...he looks familiar, though.
Questions to the wife: The husband masturbates to M/M porn. Is this a threat to you? Are you upset he masturbates at all and you feel that its a sexual slur upon yourself as a wife and readily available woman? Do you feel less loved or perhaps cheated on? If so, you need to TRY and have an adult conversation with the hubby....and also try to open your mind to the human male species.
I've found few women understand porn AT ALL. It can be an escape...a smorgasbord...a fantasy to do something one would not do in real life...a way to expand one's sexual horizon without getting caught up in all the real life "webs," no matter what sex it's geared toward.
Remember men are not women and don't see the sexual world the same way. And do yourself a mental favor and forget about trying to find each of us a box to fit in. Just be there for your husband and maybe work on expanding both of your sexual horizons between the sheets. Give him something else to fantasize about that you can enjoy too. Look up pegging on Pornhub. That ought to get his attention.
@ Anon - Great answer! I bet pegging **would** get his attention!!
@ Paul - To me he looks a lot like Tyler Hoechlin. He played the character Derek Hale on Teen Wolf
@ Anon - I think you're right. Now, if I could only locate the film those are from...and find a clip of the entire scene.
Bi? Probably. Various research papers have been published in recent years that show that sexuality is on a normal distribution with exclusively gay and exclusively straight at the two ends. As with every normal distribution, most people are somewhere in between—with the largest group in the middle. Heteronormativity has caused a skew in the distribution with more people identifying as exclusively straight than actually are.
However, be aware that where one falls on the sexuality spectrum is not related to desire or wanted activity. I'm in a long-term M-M relationship (25 years), but am closer to the centre of the curve than my husband is. He can't even imagine having sex with a woman, whereas I could–but never have. Should the opportunity arise, I might do so, but I'm not going to seek it out.
There is also evidence that men who watch other men's climaxes and orgasms have stronger ones themselves. The amygdalae are wonderful things.
On a different note, M-M porn should be accepted happily. He's not comparing his wife with them. If he was looking at porn with women in it, then she should have greater cause for concern. There's always someone out there who is hotter than you (whatever "hotness" means for him), and comparisons are inevitable.
@ whkattk - it's Tyler Hoechlin and its from The Blind Date Project https://tylerhoechlin.org/the-blind-date-project/ although I don't know if that particular clip is on that page, but it is on https://twitter.com/hashtag/seeHoechdate?src=hash as part of a longer clip than you have. I'm still looking for more.
Tyler is a new interest for me, obtained from this very blog page, so thanks. He represents my ideal guy.
As for the post, I think if a woman mentions something, she's bothered by it.
@ whkattk - here's another page with more youtube videos from the Tyler Hoechlin Blind Date show https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvkJM7-PJfJAaZpV7IE3A2g
TBH, the gay thing doesn't concern me as much as the father-son thing.
Oh well. Libido is complicated. Like for me, where I grew up, if you bottomed, you were treated as a third gender of sorts. Unsurprisingly, I developed the idea that circle jerks, sword fights, and Princeton rubs were for guys, with only close friendships in mind. While romance was for women, and part of that was being inside her.
Most gay porn, as a result, doesn't interest me, since a good circle jerk is hard to find.
Tyler Goechlin stars in the Bew Superman and Kois, has also played Supweman in Superdirl and was the next duue neighbor kid in Seventh Heaven.
@ Anon 6:09 AM - why does either the gay thing or the father-son thing bother you?
I thought a Princeton rub was a Julia Child's roast recipe.
Th idea of jerking with your father. Kind of, you know, incest.
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