"I wrote in back in December asking about my relationship with my best friend. You and your readers commented I needed to tell him how I felt. He was at my house on Christmas Eve so we could exchange gifts. As scary as it was, I told him I loved him. He kind of shrugged and said he loved me, too. I put my hands on his upper arms, looked him in the eyes, and said, "No. I mean I love you." It got kind of awkward after that. The usual hug when we parted was stiff. I just knew I'd totally messed up. So I texted him the day after Christmas to apologize. His response was "Processing." That had always been our signal that we were thinking through something and so I waited.
We'd both been invited to a New Year's Eve party. Shortly before midnight my doorbell rang. I answered and there he stood. He told me he was worried when I didn't show up. He hugged me when he walked in and it felt like it always had. Boy, was I relieved. We sat on the couch to watch the time roll into 2022. We smiled, hugged, and wished each other a Happy New Year.
He reached over to hold my hand. A few minutes later he put my hand on his crotch. My only fear was not doing something the right way. He got really hard and opened his pants and put my hand around his shaft. I couldn't believe how familiar it felt. I took it slow and did the same things I do to myself when I masturbate. I didn't get the slightest bit hard but did like doing it. It pleased me that I was pleasing him if that makes sense.
After he came he knelt in front of me and pulled my pants off. I didn't get hard until he put his mouth over me. He delivered the most soft, slow, and sensuous oral I've ever experienced. I was blown away if you'll forgive the pun.
He slept overnight in my bed. Both of us woke up hard in the morning with no sense of embarrassment at all and spent the entire day together naked. He never pressured me to do anything that made me uncomfortable. I went down on him, though a bit timid at first, and realized I enjoyed it because he enjoyed it, because it gave him pleasure.
Sorry for being so long-winded in an effort to say thank you. Thank you to you and all your readers for the advice. I may be the gayist straight dude in the world but it feels right."
We'd both been invited to a New Year's Eve party. Shortly before midnight my doorbell rang. I answered and there he stood. He told me he was worried when I didn't show up. He hugged me when he walked in and it felt like it always had. Boy, was I relieved. We sat on the couch to watch the time roll into 2022. We smiled, hugged, and wished each other a Happy New Year.
He reached over to hold my hand. A few minutes later he put my hand on his crotch. My only fear was not doing something the right way. He got really hard and opened his pants and put my hand around his shaft. I couldn't believe how familiar it felt. I took it slow and did the same things I do to myself when I masturbate. I didn't get the slightest bit hard but did like doing it. It pleased me that I was pleasing him if that makes sense.
After he came he knelt in front of me and pulled my pants off. I didn't get hard until he put his mouth over me. He delivered the most soft, slow, and sensuous oral I've ever experienced. I was blown away if you'll forgive the pun.
He slept overnight in my bed. Both of us woke up hard in the morning with no sense of embarrassment at all and spent the entire day together naked. He never pressured me to do anything that made me uncomfortable. I went down on him, though a bit timid at first, and realized I enjoyed it because he enjoyed it, because it gave him pleasure.
Sorry for being so long-winded in an effort to say thank you. Thank you to you and all your readers for the advice. I may be the gayist straight dude in the world but it feels right."
I'm happy it worked out. Though I hate labels, whether you consider yourself straight or gay or bi, if it feels right, if you're both happy...that's all that should matter.
I wish you continued happiness.
14 comments:
Congratulations!
Keep us informed!
You will be surprised how fast from now both of you will lose yours anal virginity!
(and how will enjoy it)
go on with your happiness
Yet another satisfied customer at Big Whack Attack.
So... score one for 2022! Woot woot!
I'm really glad the writer took the plunge and told the guy how he felt. All the best to them.
Yes!
So glad it worked out for him.
XOXO
Well well well, surely a lesson for all of us. Hugs and bisous.
Pat, that was a perfect response to this letter. The labels don't matter. The connection does.
I was worried about the outcome as I started reading the letter. To the writer: you were bold, and (no judgment here) I'm not sure I would have done it. You asked for advice, and the majority said to go for it. You did, and it had a positive outcome. I'm very glad for you both. May the friendship flourish! May sexy times continue! Love rules!!
Congratulations about this new step in your friendship!
You offered each other a splendid gift to begin this new year.
@ Laurent - They did, didn't they? A beautiful gift. That thought never entered my brain.
I always love a happy ending!
Sexual orientation template notwithstanding, it's amazing how we can adopt an attitude that is conditioned by society without ever testing out its veracity because of fear. I even question whether sexual orientation is a real thing for men or simply a cultural expectation. I believe the primary factor for men is sexual enjoyment but we rarely explore alternatives for achieving it because of expectation and associated consequences. Labels of gay, bi and straight do not do justice to the diversity we can experience.
Friendship between men is real and what would we not do to help a friend out? Combined with a common interest in sexual enjoyment and common male experience, I'm surprised that male to male friendship with benefits is not more common: it's not necessarily to do with hormonal love, but I think fear plays a role.
The OP was very brave to make such a leap without talking about the more fundamental situation of mutual recreational sex, however I'm glad they both had a positive experience, as it could have been different as a result of homophobic fear. Or perhaps it is my expectation of fear that is the problem and most men, if given the opportunity to process the possibility in advance of having to engage, will tentatively explore through curiosity.
Labels are constraining and they can be misapplied. I don't think sexual enjoyment is conditional upon love or love upon sexual enjoyment: they are simply a couple of examples of the diversity that can exist for men. I have a feeling it may be different for women as they have the primary procreation linkage and responsibility and a greater connection with emotional love.
I think the OP should consider the possibility that his feelings are not necessarily reciprocated and that his friend is simply exploring one of the possible benefits of friendship that he had not considered before. That doesn't mean his feelings are invalid, just maybe different from the other guy and I wouldn't want him to fall into a different expectation of where this might go and be hurt. It happened to me when I was unsure of my sexual orientation and a friend helped me confirm it by engaging sexually, only to take up with a woman not long after, leaving me feeling jilted when it was not a love relationship, just a mutual sexual experimentation but with feelings on one side only. The issue was more about not talking openly about where each of us was coming from at the start and establishing the limits of the encounter so unrealistic expectations did not result in hurt feelings.
I wish the OP and his friend continued enjoyment during their exploration.
The OP is not the gayest straight dude in the world, simply a dude on the road to discovering his own diverse true nature.
The only thing I would caution about is deriving pleasure solely from giving pleasure and not receiving. Whilst there is nothing particularly wrong with that, it can eventually lead to feelings of envy, dissatisfaction and other negative feelings if one-sided.
@ Anon, January 13, 2022 at 10:14 PM - I think maybe you missed the part where the friend treated him to the best blow job he'd ever had. That's certainly receiving pleasure.
As great as it was that the OP had a successful outcome to revealing his feelings, there are many forms of love and it would probably be quite baffling to a guy to hear another man say "I love you" without being more specific (platonic love exists).
I think men are more into lust than they are love. We need to come up with another way of saying "I feel horny and would like to have sex with you". Perhaps it could be approached between friends with the question "How do you feel about the idea of friends with benefits for men with men?" and then segue into "I kind of like that idea and am interested in exploring", then "Would you be interested in exploring with me?".
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