Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Congratulations



💘 HAPPY ST. VALENTINE'S DAY 💘

 

"Way back in November I asked about ways to increase my swimmers so I wouldn't have to do the IVF jack off. You posted suggestions. it didn't work. The clinic was all women not a dude to be found. I swear it took forever to get a hard-on let alone manage to cum with women wandering around the hall. It sure would be a lot less embarrassing if a guy handed the cup and gave instructions. Let's hope this takes because I don't think I could do that again."

I get it. Really. Back in my early 30s I had to go in for a sperm count. And, yeah, a female nurse handed me the cup, gave me instructions. (Wash your hands first. Don't get any KY on or in the cup. Bring it back to me as soon as you're done.) Then she pointed to the restroom. Took me a long time, too. But, realize: back then guys had to do the deed sitting on a commode in the men's room.... Yeah, yeah, okay, it's pretty common now. But, back then, there was no porn for inspiration and the pressure to cum was immense.


Certainly, no cell phones.


'Course, back then, IVF clinics weren't a thing. And jerking off wasn't talked about - except in jokes with your buddies - it was something you denied doing. The circle jerks in the barracks notwithstanding.



Barren Boys, or an extremely low count, meant adoption if you were determined to be parents. Turned out I shoot blanks and would've been spared the second round of (bordering on) public masturbation had IVF been common.


It's easier now. Now, clinics provide a decent, more relaxed and comfortable environment. Instructions are (usually) taped somewhere in the room. Some even provide computers with large screens for watching porn, tube of lube laid out.


Or at least a
rack with magazines.


WiFi for cell-phone porn if there's no computer provided.


According to Vice, some clinics even go so far as to provide Virtual Reality porn to help guys.



But, Congratulations! you did the deed. And I bet your wife couldn't think of a better Valentine gift.


You have every reason to be proud. I have confidence in you that, if required, you'll be able to pull it off again (pun intended). And have a much easier time of it.


And, I might add, ejaculation isn't (ordinarily) physically painful. Harvesting ovum is.


Couldn't resist that.

9 comments:

SickoRicko said...

I love that box of candy with the surprise inside!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Oh wow.
Really? You'd think they'd make those rooms a little more... comfortable? But at the end of the day it's kind of a medical procedure so...

XOXO

Mistress Maddie said...

Happy Valentine's Day Pat! Seems you're me on the same page with the Whitman sampler.. I have that posting shortly! It's a great gif! And one I surely wouldn't mind in my mouth!

whkattk said...

@ Six - They're positively posh compared to the days of sitting on a toilet in the men's room. LOL. XOXO

JeanWM said...

Happy Valentines. And a box of chocolates!!! BTW this is big business for these procedures, surprised some entrepreneur hasn't prepared a "kit". Hugs and bisous. 💕

Anonymous said...

I recall there was that very scene in the mens room in the movie "The Right Stuff" having to give a sample to test for sperm motility before going into space and/or possibly a sample to freeze in case of deleterious effects from space travel. I forget what anthem the men ended up using collectively. Yet another reason now for men to be more comfortable in each others presence.

All those women in the fertility centre: couldn't you imagine at least some of them getting all hot and flustered at the thought of what the men were doing and imagining themselves getting inappropriately involved, with the whole fantasy helping get you off? The consequences of women forcing men to think or even look at any other women than them, making it more difficult to undertake that important IVF step.

whkattk said...

@ Anon - I can imagine that initially the women might be that way. But, like anything else, the newness wears off and it becomes routine... "Oh, yeah, guys' in there shooting into a cup. Ho-hum."

I forgot about that scene! Yep. The early astronauts were also required to provide a second sample upon return in order to study the effects of space travel on sperm production.

whkattk said...

@ Jean - You'd think someone would've created a full-on kit, wouldn't you? Well, at least they recognize the assistance porn provides the men. Hugs and bisous.

Xersex said...

I never wanted to be a parent, so even if I didn't have any swimmers, it would be the same for me.