Another email that arrived while I was out dealing with the surgery.
"I wanted to share an experience with you that I never had with my dad til I was much older. I came home earlier than expected from work to find my son's, 17 and 11 lounging around the pool completely naked. My older son was teaching his brother the importance of sexual self care, aka, masturbation. From the looks of the towels, they had a few classes that I was absent for. Both sons invited me to join them, I got naked and started stroking my dick. We sat on separate chairs and enjoyed the moment. We swam a little bit and went inside before my wife and daughtercame home. It was an incredible bonding moment with my boys. After dinner, I asked both boys if there was anything they needed from me, both said for guy time to be naked, lol. We are planning a trip just us guys.
It was only a few years ago I walked in on my dad jacking off. He patted the sofa and I was hesitant at first by i stripped and joined. We didn't touch but just enjoyed the company of father and son. I'll never forget how much and how far he shot his load. To know he still gets off was a relief as I know now I wasn't the only one. I always assumed once you got older you stopped.
Both occasions there wasn't any embarrassment just acceptance. Thanks for your blog to help with these moments of opportunities to teach my boys about the awesomeness of their bodies and what healthy masturbation is. They are creating bonds that will last a lifetime."
This is the kind of message that gives me hope for the future. The idea that masturbation is normal and a natural part of maturing and, moreover, as a learning tool for guys should be encouraged. It is how we learn what we find pleasurable. But it is also how guys learn to control ejaculation.
The Point of No Return is something we need to recognize.
Who better --- where better --- to learn than at home from Dad?
I wish more men took that attitude.
As your father proved to you...
if we stay healthy and we're lucky, we never lose the ability nor the interest.
23 comments:
I like your conclusion… and there are some very nice pictures.
Hugs and bisous, my beloved Jean an Pat.
Have a wondrous day.
I wonder how common this is? I don't know anybody who's ever done such things with their father, and I think when I and friends have discussed it most of us are like yuck it's our dad😂😂😂. But I have had friends who have brothers and they've done it together but that seems to be different so I assume it must be an age thing.
Well, good for him.
Approaching nudity and pleasure without shame should be the rule, not the exception. IDK about joining a family member when they're having fun, but hey.
XOXO
What an inspiring story. Thanks for sharing. Hope your recovery is progressing well.
My dad and I had absolutely no problem jacking off together. He "caught" me pulling my tool several times when he came in to wake me up for school. I'd pull the sheet over Mr. Finally, he came and sat down on my bed, naked. We both slept naked. He pulled the sheet off me, grabbed me peter and said what I was doing was natural and I did not have to be ashamed to do it in front of him. I asked if he did it. He slid down next to me, and proceeded to jack out a nice load. After that, we jacked every morning, and I started sleeping in his bed. We did jack each other sometimes, a were basically free and easy about touching each other, or jerking our meat around each other.
Beautiful they were able to share the intimacy and bond.
You would think with every generation things would get looser, but I'm not so sure anymore. i.e. the current conservative political need to be in everyone's bedroom. Hugs and bisous.
@ Mistress Maddie - don't you think it is a shame that most boys learn about their bodies through trial and error, reinventing the wheel each generation, when their Fathers and their Fathers before them, going back through time, had already developed the knowledge but it was not passed on?
So many people these days are concerned about child abuse, yet I think leaving it to youngsters to re-invent the wheel is in itself abuse because it might turn out to be error more often than not and error entrenched because no-one educated them the best way. The risks of abuse by Fathers to sons would have to already be fairly small and could be reduced further by ensuring a Father is only indemnified if its something they require the lad to initiate, after a Father making it clear to the son that they can ask them anything without fear.
I can understand a reluctance for Fathers to become so intimately involved with their son's proper development because we still haven't dropped the last vestiges of prudery from the Victorian era or the strictures of entrenched homophobia. My own Father thought I would learn like he did, through friends and trial and error, but that assumes much that may not eventuate.
I'm gratified by the anecdote in this topic and it reminds me a little of a previous anecdote of a masseur who was very tentatively approached by his Father for a massage with a happy ending. We are all boys together, despite age and proportion variation, with an amazing degree of similarity in the fundamentals.
I'm increasingly convinced that sexual orientation is primarily linked to procreation and that sexual enjoyment is not as rigidly linked.
I'm not sure where the "yuck" is coming from although it does seem to be a common impediment. It can't be due to homophobia when even gay men can have a similar reaction. Perhaps it is a variant of competitiveness between men to not reveal vulnerability or maybe intimacy generates a fear of compromising authority.
I know a homosexual guy who has relationships with his dad, who is bisexual. They're happy. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with it!
My dad told me masturbation was normal, but he never did it with me. I never really wanted him to either.
@Mistress Maddie: Masturbating with brothers is common. So is doing it cousins. (Think National Lampoon's Vacation.) Father and son is pretty rare.
My Dad was as closed off as they come. I didn't see him naked until I was an adult, and he was sick. With my kids, I was always open and didn't hide a thing. We discussed masturbation but never took it this far. I did have some fun with several sets of brothers over the years. I think that this story is "hot" but also wonderful. The relationship this dad has with his boys is wonderful and they can share anything with each other now without any fear. What a great story!
@ Jean - Right you are. If things continue on this path, we'll be right back to the Victorian era. I know things go in cycles, but this one seems to be going way overboard. Hugs and bisous.
Different strokes. I wonder if FOX has a sitcom in the works based on this concept.
Can we at least talk about issues of consent and undue influence?
My partner and his dad have similar relationship. They have always been naked around each other and jerking off together was normal for them. They dont have a normal Father/Son relationship they are more like best friends or older brothers instead.
Even now they still have that relationship with each other. Ive come home (I work nights) and there they both are in the kitchen having a jerk off race with each other for who picks lunch at their work. Whoever cums first gets to pick lunch and the other has to pay for it. They both trying to throw each other off by either hitting each others arm or trying to push the other over.
If they can make a competition out of it they will. They always got some competition going with each other or you find out your also in it too.
When his dad stays with us we all walk around the house naked. Its more like naked bonding time. Its relaxing in a way that we are all comfortable around each other. His dad is a nudist though and has always been body positive. His dad will say if your dick is hard you should enjoy it and not be ashamed of it.
I travelled to my cousin's house, my age, and he showed me his Playboys that his father subscribed and shared with him. When I got home, I told my father what his brother-in-law did. He called him a pervert!! and me too!!!
@ nakedswimmer - there is no demand that Fathers be naked or intimately involved with their sons, it's just a pleasant thought that barriers are brought down for young men, like being able to discuss anything without embarassment or fear of a negative reaction with someone who knows the ropes and can provide useful education. So much is left to chance these days that I am sad wastes all the opportunities in carrying knowledge forward and building on it, not having to re-invent the wheel each time.
Father-son is actually quite common in the gay world, although usually more in the context of older-younger than biological Father and son. Gay men make up a relatively small part of the population, so the chances of gay Father and son is quite low. Also homophobia still reigns with the older generation, resulting in fear to expose oneself to that environment. The chances of abuse are relatively low, but the chances of abuse because of lack of education I think would be much higher.
Society should be talking about education as well as concerns about consent and undue influence, however I feel that for men at least, there isn't as much of an issue with what might be termed incest, since there are no pregnancy complications. On the issue of undue influence, teachers also potentially hold that position, although not necessarily in a sexual capacity, yet we don't frown on that. I think in the family context, there is more likely to be loving concern than if the youngster sought education in the outside world. For young gay men in particular, there is likely internal pressure to explore, so more of a chance that they would initiate something anyway, except there is often fear around the reaction that prevents it. That is why I suggested elsewhere that Fathers should make it clear to their sons, regardless of their orientation, that they can ask them anything without fear of a negative reaction and thus open a dialogue from which education might eventuate.
A Father is the primary identification model for a son, so what better way to identify than to form a bond with the primary male in your life where nothing is hidden and you get the benefit of their experience.
@ whckattk - you mentioned the point of no return is something we need to recognise and that guys use masturbation to learn to control ejaculation, however you never explained why.
Historically, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction have largely been about satisfying a female partner in a "natural" way and thus being kind of gynocentric and rarely about what it meant for the man himself and his own pleasure, despite there being many other ways to satisfy a woman even in the presence of ED or premature ejaculation, albeit not with original equipment penis.
Is there a reason for a man to control ejaculation for himself and are we talking here about ejaculation or orgasm or both?
Whilst we are on the subject of ED, are their other ways for a man to achieve orgasm if he has difficulty getting an erection, apart from re-stiffening that erection? I feel that mens pleasure has been largely ignored in favour of focusing on ensuring a partner can be pleasured the normal way and the means of male pleasure has been greatly reduced down to simply penile stimulation.
Must be nice growing up in a body positive household... My dad was great at one thing...not teaching me jack! Props to those with good dads.
@ anonymous July 14 - I'm sorry you had that reaction, sex is a natural and huge part of the biology of men. Unfortunately society has sometimes gone through phases of disowning a natural part of people for whatever reason and encouraged suppression via various means. During the 1700s and 1800s masturbation was considered an evil and diabolical contraptions designed to stop it. I believe the Victorian era considered sex was only for procreation. Traditions are usually passed onto the next generation, so change tends to take a long time and considerable courage to buck history. We have not been that long out of the Victorian era and so the older generations in particular are still shadowed by their Fathers and Grandfathers attitudes. I don't think we should be quick to condemn as we have no idea the strictures that were placed on them by society when they were learning what was acceptable.
That brother-in-law was courageous and progressive.
Education and information is very useful as it helps reduce re-invention of the wheel, trial and error, often anxiety if you have no idea about something, and making mistakes that may have consequences on other people, plus improvements in a sense of belonging and identity. A Father sharing things with his son can lead to bonding that better helps in identity formation and sharing of how to be a man.
I think it would be nice to grow up in a body positive household, but unfortunately a great many Fathers didn't have that freedom themselves and so were less able to pass it and other useful information on. My own was one of them.
@ Anon, July 15, 2023 at 1:35 AM - Premature Ejaculation is now defined as cumming before you want to and that can include jacking off. A guy might want to spend a couple of hours edging, or he might be with a partner of any gender and want the sex to last. So, learning to recognize the Point of No Return can help expand the pleasure by being able to stop direct stimulation for a "cooling down" period.
@ nakedswimmer - Perhaps we should talk about consent and undue pressure to participate. We should all be able to set our own boundaries without judgement.
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