"I woke up to find my four year old standing next to my bed staring at my morning wood. It really threw me for a loop and I'm afraid my reaction may have scared him. What do I do now? When I talk to him is it okay to say boner?"
What do you do? You apologize for frightening him. You do know what causes those multiple spontaneous hard-ons (as many as 11 in a 24-hour period), right? Then, in an age appropriate way, explain morning boners because, believe it or not, age is not a factor and he gets them, too.
It's just something natural that happens in males. They're nothing to be afraid of, but they are something we have to get used to dealing with.
"Can someone tell me why a man would embarrass his son like this? We're hanging out, just bullshitting about all kinds of shit and oif course talk turns to sex. Somehow we hit on how old we were w=the first time we came. He points at his son and says "Well that ship over there has already sailed. He's busting nut all the freaking time." His son turned beet red. I felt bad for him. What's a good retort if it happens again?"
My response:
"Don't let him fool you, your dad jacks off every chance he gets, too."
22 comments:
My nephew, when he was little, walked in on me when I was using the furnace room toilet. The toilet is raised two steps and there he was staring up at my dick pissing. I didn't say anything because I didn't want him to be embarrassed of the naked body. It must not have affected him badly, he proposed to his now wife at a nude beach in the Caribbean. He was comfortable enough to share that information with me. My partner and I were both invited to the wedding where they served a type of nude beer. Those who knew about the proposal got a chuckle at the joke.
Boner is an acceptable word to explain the phenomenon.
Boner is a perfectly acceptable term. As for the kid, he will understand, then very quickly, as the song says: “I think about it and then I forget”.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a happy hump day.
I believe explaining to him in an age appropriate way things that happen to the body is good. I personally would just describe what happens without naming it "Boner." My reasoning is that although it may be okay for the household; kids love sharing things they learn with others. Many find the term boner inappropriate. and if he's sharing with other kids that he had a boner it may cause some issues with other parents wondering where their kid learned that word.
As for the second scenario, talking about sex in front of children really depends on how old the child is. I feel if it is not in a way to educate about it or answer their curiosities, that kind of talk should be amongst the buddies.
It appeared that that the topic was not really about teaching the youth about it but just usual guy talk so why even go there?
But since it has already been brought forth Parents have always had a cringe worthy way of embarrassing their kids. It is tough enough as youth going through bodily changes and being bullies by their peers. the one source they should be able to rely on is there parental support. That is one of the reason why many teens and younger don't open up to their parents in my opinion.
I would have totally called him out and told him that is NOT cool.
Me: "So he takes after you, then?"
Once again, I was very lucky, in that my day, my father and I walked around hard, and even jacked and shot loads in front of each other. I was much older than four, though. I realize a four-year- old would present a problem for the dad that a 14-year-old's dad would not face. But go gently. And I personally don't think "boner" would be an acceptable term. Let him learn street talk when he'd older.
I think he should talk to the kid about boners.
I'm sure there's one and a hundred books that could guide him. An adult man's erection is very alien to a kid, and it may not make sense at all (especially one that young) but approaching it in a way that treats an erection as something natural is the next step to follow.
The other dude was rude. Putting the kid in that situation? No.
XOXO
Maybe the answer is to try and be on the offense instead of the defense. Just when you think they’re old enough to have things explained, it’s usually already too late. Wasn’t that the case with us? Hugs and bisous.
It's a shame that Dads don't shower with their sons every so often from a young age, so they get exposed to what their own body will turn into in its various states when they become older, that can be explained as it happens. Also an ideal way to educate the lad about penile hygiene and in the process also learn about self-stimulation as a consequence and about their own bodies, which decreases the chances of a shock discovery.
Seeing a monster like that standing out from the body would scare me into thinking broken bones jutting out, but then I never saw my Dad naked until my late 30's and never with a boner, more's the pity. Hopefully younger Dads are more enlightened and comfortable these days with the natural human body.
Boys are able to experience orgasms through stimulation well before their bodies can ejaculate and apparently, doing this makes it easier to experience multiple orgasms during adulthood. Unfortunately many boys never discover this by accident and so miss out on this potential benefit. It would be so great if Dads were able to indirectly encourage this practice through education about genital washing and explaining it is okay if it feels good and it is okay to explore that feeling further in private and the lad can come to his Dad with any question without fear.
I was such a boy who discovered orgasms before I was able to ejaculate, however I thought I was doing something bad and I didn't explore it as I could and my Dad was not approachable in these matters. Maybe this is why I haven't been able to master multiple orgasms in adult life.
Please don't let your son have a negative experience through disinterest when he could be experiencing a benefit with the right education at the right time.
For the father of the four-year-old: There are books and DVDs available at your local library for age-appropriate sex education. (Well, maybe not in the more MAGA states.) You can even say "Yours stands up like that when you sleep too." It might not be so big yet, but it will be when he's older.
For the father of the teen: A simple "Like father, like son." All men jerk off, and our first few hundred (low estimate) orgasms are generally from masturbation alone. No need for shame.
Slang that isn't crude (the "c" word, for example, is crude) is always preferred to the regular medical word. After all, how stupid sounding are the words "penis", "vagina", and "testicle"?
boner: love this word
Why not just say to the 4 yr. old, Dicks (or whatever word he uses) like to exercise themselves from time to time.
@ Utah Jock - I agree. Cock shouldn't be used with a youngster. But I must've been 8 or 9 before I ever heard the word "penis."
@ Anon, November 2, 2023 at 7:53 AM - That would work!
We think kids get scared easily, but that's not true.
Boner is an acceptable word. Not for nothing, I'd be frightened to find anybody standing over me while I'm asleep... Maybe just explain that you were startled to see him there while you were sleeping. I don't think explaining your boner is necessary, unless he brings it up. Then explain it's natural...
About that 'embarrassing' story... It would be helpful to know who was present. Sounds like daddy was projecting his embarrassment on his son... Asshole...
In a related story, my buddy was bathing his toddler sons while his wife was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. The youngest son happily ran out to his mom exclaiming "Mommy, mommy, look - I have a boner!" And she became unglued and asked where do you learn that from? Well, dad, of course!
@ Utah Jock - LOL. Good kid! But mom came unglued? Tsk...that's a shame.
First story: You startled me, standing there when I woke up. If he shows interest in what he saw: Sometimes that part of guys gets hard and stands up during sleep.
Second story: The embarrassment was probably from finding out that has dad, and now someone else, knows he jacks off. Perhaps something along the lines of I'm proud of my young man.
Concerning the gif of the kid with the dildo. If he was ashamed of his dad knowing he used it, pulling it out and setting it on the bed in front of him is the height of stupidity. Just saying.
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