Out to Lunch

I’ll be gone for the next week-and-a-half and won’t be able to post. I’ll be off in the southeast part of the country, visiting the ‘penis state’ to wish my dad a happy 90^th.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with some eye candy to enjoy while I’m toasting to old age and (hopefully) finding time to do some skinny-dipping in the warm Gulf waters with that teen-years jack off buddy of mine: my older brother.

Be well, be safe, be happy. Take care of those assets…(Ladies, that includes you!) You know what to do.

It's Natural

As I was lying in bed last night (listening to the wife snore…Ugh!) my brain started to wander. As usual, it wandered to my stiffening prick which, of course, made it get all the harder. I love it when that happens. But, instead of the typical slow, steady stroking, it triggered this thought: I sure wish people could come to terms with the male anatomy.

I’m still dumbfounded when I notice someone who’s offended by it; especially when that person is a middle-aged, (supposedly) intelligent individual. This has been spinning through my brain since I saw an astonishing theater piece over the weekend. Six men, from early 20’s to mid-60’s, discuss men’s health and social issues; they talk openly about some (very) serious things like males as victims of rape and domestic abuse, various types of cancers that strike men, body image, circumcision, the fact [that] our cocks think for themselves, and, of course, whacking the willie; a lot of it done in amusing ways.

Anyway, I overhear these people behind me discussing why one patron’s friend walked out during the intermission. Apparently, this woman is extremely religious and had a problem with the content. It’s sad to think someone would prefer to keep a closed mind rather than (perhaps) learn a thing or two about the nature of a man’s body – which, if I’m not mistaken, her preacher has (almost) certainly sermonized about during services, proclaiming, “Man was created in His image.”

And it struck me: This is one of the reasons I write this blog. I want men and women – of all ages – to learn to be comfortable with the male anatomy and how it works, to know about the things that can go wrong with it. I want to impart to the guys that the things they experience, the urges they have, sometimes even the thoughts they have are not unique to them; they are not alone. And I want to impart to the ladies that the men in their lives are not perverts, the things their genitals do and the things they do with their genitals are not odd; for the most part, they’re normal “guy things.”

Perhaps it will change a few lives for the better. Women won’t be so quick to ridicule their man or become pouty when they’ve discovered him charming his one-eyed snake. Men won’t be so shy and embarrassed about what hangs between their legs and the pleasure those things provide. Parents won’t be so afraid to impart these facts to their sons, or at least won’t punish them or admonish them if the kid(s) stumbled across the joys of jacking his Johnson.

Got a Bud?

Jack off buddies, fuck buddies, friends with benefits…whatever you want to call them, it can be great. The best part of it is no expectations. It sort of reminds me of a long-term relationship I had years ago. She had her place, I had mine. We got along really well and she was a real cutie. Most nights either she slept at my place or I slept at hers, but it was truly exquisite having a place to escape. It provided us both with time to and for ourselves.

There were no great expectations on either part; she didn’t have to nag me about the occasional wet towel on the floor, I didn’t have to nag her about the constant clutter. When the clutter in her place got to be too much, I stayed home. If she was irritated about something I’d done, she stayed home. She rarely denied me sex, the only disappointment being blow jobs – and she’d never let me go down on her. But I had my trusty AccuJac waiting for me at my place if I needed it.

Jack off buddies are a lot like that; a couple hours of mutual enjoyment and you go on your way. There’s no “when can I see you again,” or “why can’t we go out for dinner or a movie once in a while.” There’s never any bitching of “you never help around the house,” or “why can’t you just do what I ask.” There’s never any game-playing. You’re both there for the single, shared goal of getting your nuts off. Plain and simple.

I met my last bud through the local Jack Off Group. It afforded us both the opportunity between the regular meetings. I’d go to his place when his wife was at work, he’d toss me a beer, start the video and we’d kick back on the couch. It was never long before we had our cocks in our hands. And it never took long before we had each other’s cocks in hand. Lot’s of times we’d end up hard-on to hard-on, or get into a bit of frot, our slick pre-cum lubed poles sliding against abs and running against each other. When he’d sit in my lap and my steel hard stick ran up between his legs to poke at his nuts…whew…he’d go crazy. I’d wrap my hand around his dripping boner and pump away while I thrust my dick between his thighs. It wasn’t long before he’d spew a huge load all over himself. I was never far behind at that point; thick hot ropes blasting up to rain down on his cock and drool over his balls. And, okay, I’ll admit it…every once in a while we’d toss in a bit of cock sucking or ball licking. Sometimes we’d rest, drink another beer, and go for another round. Most times I’d shower, get dressed and leave.

It’s so terrific to be that comfortable with someone – to be that casual about needing to blow a load. Not being ashamed to sit around naked and shoot the shit. Not having to worry if your dick gets hard, or have to explain why (like I’ve had to do with my wife in the past). Not having to worry that someone’s feelings are going to be hurt because you wrap your hand around your hard-on for some self-inflicted pleasure. Not have to feel ashamed of some mindless self-groping. No hidden agendas, no emotional baggage. That’s what mutual jack off is; just simple enjoyment of getting your rocks off. It’s male bonding at its best.

DADT

To my surprise, the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repeal was actually allowed to come to full fruition. And I thought blogs everywhere would be chock full of celebratory posts last week.

That our men and women can serve their country without the need to lie about who they are should be a proud day for U.S. citizens. Gays and bisexuals have been serving in the military all along, which should come as no surprise even to the religious extremists that have inundated the political landscape in the last four years.

My God! there were so many circle jerks and jack off parties when I was in the service…they couldn’t have been that much of a secret! Beside the fact that there were plenty of straight guys attending, how could you miss a gathering in a barracks room? How could you walk past that door and not hear the heavy breathing, or the guttural moans and groans of guys blowing their loads and mistake it for something else? Especially when some of them weren’t exactly quiet they came?

So, here’s to our guys in uniform who no longer have to hide the fact their cocks get hard, no longer have to hide the fact they enjoy jacking off – alone or with a few buddies – or no longer have to sneak into the bathhouse, or go into the straight porn film booth at the adult book store (and military bases always seem to have those nearby!).

Perhaps more and more people will begin to understand that our sexual proclivities run the gamut with stops at every point of the Bell Curve.

Straight Whackers

And speaking of straight dudes… Here’s one more reason for whacking your willy: Fertility. Yep. Now the next time your wife or girlfriend wants to know why you feel the need to  pound one out you can tell her, “To keep a fresh supply.”

Researchers have discovered the longer sperm remain in our bodies the less mobile and healthy they are. Each time we blow a load a fresh supply of young, healthy, high-motility swimmers move from the balls into the seminal vesicles.

Even if you aren’t trying to conceive, you guys can always use this excuse (as if we should need one!), “I’m just keeping the swimmers mobile for you, honey!”

Years ago, couple who were trying to conceive were told to limit their intercourse to once every other day. It was thought our little factories needed that much time to manufacture a new batch. Now fertility experts suggest daily intercourse to get the strongest, highest performing tadpoles working at knocking on the door of that ovum.

So, there ya have it guys… Jacking off in the name of procreation! One more reason to enjoy your cock.

SJT2

It is sad to have found out that Scott (over at SJT2) has turned in his jockstrap for good. There seemed to be so few straight men who were not afraid to delve into the realm of male bonding. I'm going to miss his honest approach to discovering that men can find cock beautiful, whether it's their own or standing up from another man's groin. But I offer him thanks for sharing his journey with us - from as far back as his first blog "Queerest Straight Man in the World" when he thought enjoying the sight, smell, feel, and taste of a cock automatically meant you were gay.

I wish him well - and perhaps he'll stop by here once in a while to let us know how he's faring.

Cum Much?

I know I covered this topic already, but a Gentle Reader (as Miss Manners would say) sent me a list of ideas and reminded me that new readers drop by all the time. He suggested I might be willing to cover some issues again and, perhaps, put a new stroke on them.

Building up a bigger load of cum is a lot of men’s dream. Why? Because the more we cum the better it feels; the more satisfaction we get out of an orgasm. Blasting out 10 or more spurts of our hot, thick ropes of white cum provides an incredible sense of awesome! It’s like you ladies having multiple orgasms – or one that stretches on for…well, still not long enough!

The typical male ejaculation will include approximately five or six squirts. The first is always the strongest and they diminish from there, ending up in about a single teaspoonful of jizz. You may be familiar with the saying “Less is more?” This is one time I’d have to say that adage couldn’t be further from the truth! When a man is blasting his berry-batter more is better; much better!

So how do I accomplish that, you ask? There are two things you can do. One is by staying hydrated and by this I don’t mean drinking gallons and gallons of water. As a doctor told me once, “All that will do is make you pee more.” No, guys, the key here is to drink fluids all day, not drown yourselves. The other – and important – key is to keep stimulating the prostate. You know prostate fluid makes up the bulk of your cum, right? You did know that – didn’t you? Of course you did!

Then build it up. Play with yourself. Tease your cock, squeeze those balls. Play that age-old game of Pocket Pool. Take your pecker in hand and work up a good solid hard-on. Then stuff it back in your pants and let it wilt. Sitting at your desk, or while you’re driving your car to and from work, squeeze your thighs against your nuts, squeeze those ass-cheeks together to stimulate your buzz-button. Keep it going like this all day long. And all you married guys, you can do this all evening long sitting right next to your wife on the couch building up a nice big load for her and she won’t even know you’re doing it!

Whenever you go to take a leak, when you’re done don’t just squeeze and shake – bone it up and give it a few strokes; fondle your balls a little bit. Get it at least semi-hard and then put the mouse back in its house. The more time you spend teasing your cock, the better.

Just remember if you stop for a long period of time – say a couple hours – what you’ve built up will likely begin to be reabsorbed. So keep up the teasing – right up until you are ready to get naked and put in some serious flogging or fucking time.

Not only will you have built up a nice sizable load of jizz, the force behind each squirt should be bigger too. And that adds to the release.

The longest distance (according to Kinsey research) a man has ever ejaculated is 8’ (feet). Go ahead, shoot for the record!