'Funny you should mention masturbation - an orgasm is nature's Ambien.' - Arianna Huffington, discussing her book "The Sleep Revolution" on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One Man's Boner


Here's what one Faithful Reader sent in for us. (Bless him for doing so!) I have rearranged it for purposes of posting, but the core of his experience is there, proving that prostate removal doesn't mean the end of boners and enjoying sex. Any comments I've made in the body are in parentheses and italicized.

 The research you are doing and sharing to assist your faithful reader is really a nice gesture. Thank you. I share this because we guys are so private about this issue, and the more we speak about it and share information and experiences the better for everyone. I found that the internet might contain some good information, but it is also full of contradictions, sales pitches, and hokey promises.


 I was able to achieve an erection about 6 weeks after my radical prostatectomy, which has now been 6 years ago. What was really amazing to me was my first orgasm about 8 or 9 weeks after the surgery. Up to that point I was completely unaware that a man could have an orgasm without an ejaculation. Ever since I was 13 years old I thought that the sensation of orgasm was caused by the semen moving up and discharging from the hard-on. And a good orgasm it was, which really made me appreciate the miracle of the male human body. The only moisture I had was a small amount of precum.


I had a really good doctor/surgeon/urologist, all rolled into one. He appreciated that sexual activity was a vital part of my life. We had very frank discussions about the surgical process, he knew the limits that he could separate the vital nerves, and all the factors possible within the outcome. There were never any promises. He got me going on Viagra a few weeks before the surgery, and we continued the Viagra "therapy" for about 6 months afterward. We'll never be sure if that helped in my recovery. I stopped Viagra though on my own; I just didn't like the sexual jolt it was giving me. He cautioned me about Cialis because it remains in the body for a longer time and has caused problems when treating a medical emergency related to the heart, should there be one. I have since been on 1000 mg of L-Arginine daily, readily available over-the-counter. And even though my testosterone levels test normal, I use one squirt of AndroGel daily. For many years I have also worn a cock ring during sexual activity -- it just feels really good and helps me retain blood where it is needed. My orgasms remain as pleasurable as ever, if not more-so, just because of that internal appreciation for the ability to have them.


Fortunately, I have a faithfully loving partner who couldn't have been a better caretaker during the trials of surgery and recovery. (I've read this is very important for partnered men - the more understanding and patient a partner is, the better the outcome. It would probably translate to solo as well - be patient and keep working at it.)



Right from the start my doctor cautioned me that "it" was 90 percent all in my head. Strangely, I off-again, on-again, 6 years later, believe him. When I feel good; when I clear my mind; when I let my imagination take over and think fresh thoughts, I can feel that surge inside. The naked guys in an imaginary chorus line; naked guys at the swimming hole; remembering the first time my partner put my erection fully into his mouth; the first time I used Albolene; his hand playing with my testicles; my tugging on the ropes during bondage, unable to touch myself ... there is so much hidden away in the mind. And dwelling on similar thoughts while lying there naked has certainly help turn me on.


I really thank my Faithful Reader for sharing his journey with us. As soon as I hear back from my brother, I will post the information he has to share. In the meantime, guys, enjoy yourselves!





5 comments:

O!Daddie said...

All great news.. now, what's out there for ED in guys with no documented organic problems.. when it's 'all in their heads' (the big one, not the little one)? There is more to intimacy than a home run, but I can't seem to convince my partner of that.

Stan said...

As I get older (I'm 61 y/o) I experience cumming 50% of the time with very little or no semen. I think this is a fact when you get older even if you still have your prostate.
I'm happy your recovery went so well and your lucky to have a partner.

whkattk said...

@ O!Daddie - it sounds more like your partner has lost interest in sex. As some people age, it happens... It doesn't need to be that way, of course. If he's AT ALL interested in engaging in partnered sexual activity, may I suggest a complete physical exam to rule out any medical issue and complete honesty with his doctor? An antidepressant may help, a low does of daily testosterone may help, just talking to a therapist may help. It may take all three. But, as with other issues in life, nobody can force another person into making changes; they must want to do it for themselves. Hope that helps... Hugs, WHK

whkattk said...

@ Stan - You only cum 50% of the time, producing little to no semen... It's not a process of aging - not that I'm aware of. Do you experience orgasm the rest of the time? Orgasm without ejaculation is possible - **but if it's unintentional,** there could be a medical issue, it's possible you're having retrograde ejaculations.

whkattk said...

@ O!Daddie and Stan - Both of you may want to consider looking at current prescribed and OTC medications. Either could be the culprit in either case!