Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Demonstrate Technique?

I love hearing from readers, whether it's via comment or email, even if it is an issue I've dealt with before. This landed in my inbox yesterday:

"My 14 year old nephew is staying with us at the beach for the summer to give my sister a break. The kid has been acting up so we thought this might give him a chance to settle down a bit. Over the weekend he saw me jerking off. Okay, no big deal, right? Guys jerk off. Now he wants me to teach him.

My wife thinks it's funny that he "caught" me "stroking the snake" and said I should absolutely teach him because he has no father in the picture. I'm okay with talking about any subject he wants. He wants to learn about his dick, fine. He wants to know about girls (or guys) and sex, no problem. But I draw the line at showing him how to jerk off.


What should I do? Do I stand my ground, or do I do as my wife suggests, which is to send her out shopping, and drop trou with him and teach him "how take care of himself?""


Well, first things first. It's good to hear you didn't freak out about him seeing you masturbating. It's positively great to hear you're willing to talk to him on any subject dealing with his maturing body and sex. It's even more heartening to hear you'll discuss male-to-male sex, because the world around us is changing and the younger generation is much more accepting of sexual fluidity (yeaay!).
Do you drop trou, take boner in hand, and demonstrate technique? Well, I'd be cautious, very cautious. If your sister should find out - what then? Would she accept it, or would she get upset - perhaps even report it to your local authorities? The thing is, he's under the age of consent.



As much as I'm all for being open about jacking off, as much as I'm all for teaching young men what they have a right to know, I'm going to suggest you keep your cock in your pants. All it would take to ruin your life is to have him get pissed off about something you say, or do, and accuse you of sexual abuse and assault.




Buy some solo DVDs, or purchase some clips from a site like LegendMen, and have him watch. Some of those guys take masturbation to new levels. If you want to sit there to answer questions, fine. If - sorry, when he gets a boner, if he wants to follow along with the guys on the screen, let him. But try to keep your boner in your pants, keep his hands off your cock, and definitely keep your hands off his.


Readers:
What's your opinion? Is it okay to jack off with the nephew to demonstrate with no touching, or should he keep his own cock under wraps?

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you advice is pretty much spot on -- any sort of real-life demonstration could open a legal nightmare. But rather than clips from an "adult" site, I'd recommend a visit to JackinWorld.com, which was designed to help kids such as the nephew in question find open-minded answers, while avoiding anything pornographic. [The site stopped updating some years ago, but all the information is still accessible.]

Jean WM said...

Mothers can be very territorial about their offspring - and they don't like surprises. Unless she agrees, some well-instructive videos or mags left about will probably satisfy a curious teen.

Patrick said...

I'll leave that one to you! Looking back a long way - and how things have changed - I now wish that I had had someone to explain even the basics to me. My father died when I was ten years old and my brother was already married ( he was 17 years older than me). I remember the first time I jacked off! WOW! It was fantastic! Yes! I agree! Explain the basics of maturing to him, but, yes, keep your own cock out of sight and, under no circumstances touch his!

mistress maddie said...

I agree with your point to a tee. Not calling judgement, but if the kid is say gay, maybe he is attracted to men and wants a first ever experience? Being under age it could spell disaster big time. I say get him a male solo jack off porn and let him watch it.

Not Alone said...

I agree with you completely. I kind of find it hard to believe that a 14 year old doesn't already know how to masturbate. I don't think anyone ever showed me how. He may "know" what he is doing and want to engage further than show me.

I think talking about Masturbation to him is fine, and even showing him a video is fine, but I would even let him do that alone. After he is done, he can come and ask questions.

MHO

Anonymous said...

Answer questions as honest as possible. but do not do any thing that resemble sexual contact or conduct. Bring out videos, books, magazines, and leave the room. Anything more is a recipe for 20 years in jail and a life ruined actually several lives ruined. If possible make sure their is a witness to everything you do. Your life is in the child's hand the moment you take this on.

T said...

Very fine line between what is appropriate and what is not. Touch absolutely not on. Even if he initiates it its still a no. Perfect time to bring up responsibility and hygiene with him though.

You can tell him whats going on and what he will be going through. Get him lube, toys, dvd/magazine or whatever that shows him what to do. The Fleshlight/FleshJack Stamina Kit would probably be the best at the physical side of things as it comes with a dvd. You can get masturbation dvd's too. That would cover the masturbation part. You can explain that jerking off is normal and he is free to do it but you cant do that with him while he is under 18.

Responsibility, Consent, Hygiene and Sexuality should be done separate to masturbating.

The talks should be completely clothed from start to finish. I had mine with my mother (all except for jerking off and physical changes to my body) so it doesnt always have to be with another male.

I would contact the mother first though just so she knows. Its her responsibility to be teaching her child about that stuff unless she is ok with the Uncle doing that. Legally you need her consent regardless (written or verbal). Schools have permission slips for a very good reason; they use them for sex ed too if the parent wants their child excluded from class during that time. Consent also applies with a teaching capacity in mind regardless if its the education system or a relative.

Fullmoonma said...

I wish we lived in a society where I didn't have to agree with your advice!

Anonymous said...

I'm all for education, but it would be a huge mistake to actually demonstrate masturbation techniques for a 14 year old regardless of his maturity level. It might even be risky to buy him porn, but maybe not. How about a quick phone call to his mom to say "hey, he's asking about it would you mind if I talked him through it?" Just to be on the safe side so that nothing is misconstrued. Then give him the go ahead and tools to give it a go. Just know that you'll probably not see him the rest of the summer as he'll be tucked in his room taking care of business. LOL

whkattk said...

@ T, @ Jean - You're both absolutely correct - he should get his sister's permission. And I need to send him a follow-up. Hopefully, it won't be too late.

whkattk said...

@ fullmoonma - I agree. It's a damn shame that we have reached such tenuous times....

SickoRicko said...

Treading in dangerous territory. I cannot add anything to what's already been said.

Anonymous said...

This was a great discussion. When I was in my teens, which were years ago, I found adults that would have sex with me. Masturbation was something that I shared and discovered with my male friends. I was gay from the moment I came out of the womb. I feel like it was consensual when I had sex with these older men when I was 16 and 17. I was molested as a young boy by an uncle. It was a very erotic experience (perhaps my first) but I was too young to make it consensual. It probably was my first experience in life. Having said all of that, we are living in the world that we live in today. I wish it weren't that way as I think that there can be a healthy, education interaction with an older and younger man.

I agree with what others that to masturbate or even watch him masturbate would probably be considered illegal. The only thing that I think that you could do in these "tenuous times" is have a discussion. Someone else said that the man should talk to the mother. I agree with that too. She might be a religious nutcase But she should be the one to approve your conversation with the lad.

I think that a part of this reality is unnatural and unhealthy. Sex is part of being a human being. Why it should be a shameful thing that people are not capable of talking about, is a tragedy.

This was a very thought-provoking discussion! Mark @ The Treasure Trail

Anonymous said...

He could tell him about Jacknworld, but probably should ask his sister's permission first.

Anonymous said...

"Really, honey? You think fathers teach their sons how to do it?"

But seriously, this is a no go. He's too young, and you being his uncle creates a whole complex. Since Greek myth is the source of names for this sort of thing, call it an Iolaos complex. Regardless, that adds to the Ways This Could Go Wrong.