I love hearing from readers, whether it's via comment or email, even if it is an issue I've dealt with before. This landed in my inbox yesterday:
"My 14 year old nephew is staying with us at the beach for the summer to give my sister a break. The kid has been acting up so we thought this might give him a chance to settle down a bit. Over the weekend he saw me jerking off. Okay, no big deal, right? Guys jerk off. Now he wants me to teach him.
My wife thinks it's funny that he "caught" me "stroking the snake" and said I should absolutely teach him because he has no father in the picture. I'm okay with talking about any subject he wants. He wants to learn about his dick, fine. He wants to know about girls (or guys) and sex, no problem. But I draw the line at showing him how to jerk off.
What should I do? Do I stand my ground, or do I do as my wife suggests, which is to send her out shopping, and drop trou with him and teach him "how take care of himself?""
Well, first things first. It's good to hear you didn't freak out about him seeing you masturbating. It's positively great to hear you're willing to talk to him on any subject dealing with his maturing body and sex. It's even more heartening to hear you'll discuss male-to-male sex, because the world around us is changing and the younger generation is much more accepting of sexual fluidity (yeaay!).
Do you drop trou, take boner in hand, and demonstrate technique? Well, I'd be cautious, very cautious. If your sister should find out - what then? Would she accept it, or would she get upset - perhaps even report it to your local authorities? The thing is, he's under the age of consent.
As much as I'm all for being open about jacking off, as much as I'm all for teaching young men what they have a right to know, I'm going to suggest you keep your cock in your pants. All it would take to ruin your life is to have him get pissed off about something you say, or do, and accuse you of sexual abuse and assault.
Buy some solo DVDs, or purchase some clips from a site like LegendMen, and have him watch. Some of those guys take masturbation to new levels. If you want to sit there to answer questions, fine. If - sorry, when he gets a boner, if he wants to follow along with the guys on the screen, let him. But try to keep your boner in your pants, keep his hands off your cock, and definitely keep your hands off his.
What's your opinion? Is it okay to jack off with the nephew to demonstrate with no touching, or should he keep his own cock under wraps?