Well, Jean's assumption appears to have been pretty much on target. Gay men don't have a problem with a partner masturbating.
"Seems like years ago that I chatted with a reader who did have an issue with masturbation when he was in relationship - like saving up for his partner - I've never had an issue like that but I'm sure there are those who do - probably not many though."
But, comments from Bretty have some very good information for the man who wrote in:
"HSDD [Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder] has been reclassified and separated by gender now, so HSDD is a diagnosis given to men, and for women is now called Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder. (Had to brush up on "official" diagnostic terms). FSAD is defined as a "lack of, or significantly reduced, sexual interest/arousal", manifesting as at least three of the following symptoms: no or little interest in sexual activity, no or few sexual thoughts, no or few attempts to initiate sexual activity or respond to partner's initiation, no or little sexual pleasure/excitement in 75%-100% of sexual experiences, no or little sexual interest in internal or external erotic stimuli, and no or few genital/nongenital sensations in 75%-100% of sexual experiences.
I'm not fully conversant with this as women don't often seek help for FSAD. I'm a counselor who has training in psychosexual therapy, so it's part of my knowledge base. It's an interesting area.
On the issue of her, and many women's, reaction to the husband masturbating, this is not unusual. Women generally are given different messages about masturbation and some of those messages include it being disgusting or that if your partner is masturbating they're not being satisfied by you, or your partner shouldn't want or need to masturbate whilst in a relationship."
We're all about information here, and, actually, Bretty's comments can help anyone who is facing extreme-libido issues. For the vast majority of people, sex is part of a fulfilling relationship. From a male standpoint, it's also an important health issue. Perhaps, armed with this information, the man who wrote in can move forward.
Masturbation is a very normal, very regular part of a man's sex life. Somehow, that has to become common enough knowledge to put women's minds at ease.