Go Masturbate

In Jessica's article (mentioned in yesterday's post), she says a friend of hers would schedule a fake meeting to coincide with his lunch hour to "go home and jerk off." She wondered how many hours employers lose each year with people calling in sick just so they could masturbate.

Early in my engineering career, we had a boss who allowed us to call in for a "Mental Health Day." We'd phone in, give an obviously fake double cough - like when your doctor says "turn your head and cough" to check your balls. He'd laugh and say, "Okay, see you tomorrow."

Everyone in the office knew what it meant. Except one clueless dude. He asked, joking, "So what did you do, jack off all day?" His face turned beet red when I responded with, "Of course. What else is a mental health day for?"

But, Jessica might want to add in the "hours lost" with guys jacking off in the men's room in the middle of the work day. That's a common thing, too. It enables guys to get back to work on that tension-inducing project with a clearer mind and looser neck and shoulder muscles.

So, go on. Go masturbate.

Strip off the clothes and give yourself a blast.

Happy July 4th.