A real problem worth being discussed, that we should break out of the closet, is an issue that lots of men face but don't like to talk about: What to do when you can't cum.
What leads to it? The most likely culprit, as Sarah Martin, MA, CSC, suggests is stress. Or, more to the point, performance anxiety. She digs deeper into the psychology of it. Brava!
Though, personally, I would have to argue about some of her suggestions in how to de-stress the situation. I can't imagine breaking into performing oral sex to ask, "What else can I do?" or "What would feel even better?" Her suggestions sound so...clinical.
I'd be much more comfortable asking, "You like that?" or "Tell me what you want."
But, of course, she's a Certified Sex Counselor and speaking from a woman's perspective. So, that got me to wondering....
Men together don't seem to have a problem expressing to male partners what feels good, or what they want done. I mean, the guys I've stroked with have been more than willing to say, "Oh, yeah, right there." or "Stroke my cock." I've heard things like, "Play with my balls."
But, perhaps that's all a product of adult gay videos.
Now, we know that more and more straight men are expanding their horizons to experience M-M activity. Are they more apt to become verbal with another guy? Do they feel more free to talk "dirty?"
Do gay men express themselves during encounters?
6 comments:
sure they do
Great topic and information. Great Pix as well! Thanks for all you do for us. I hope all is well with you and yours, my Friend. Wishing you a bonerific day. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
I think it depends on people. I think that those who want it try to do it and then adapt according to the reaction of their partner. If they do not even try, they are wrong. If they think it's up to their partner to make that effort, why him and not them.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Oh yes...gay men do express themselves. Just this weekend after seeing my friends I went for a few drinks before heading home. I met a real nice hipster guy and we were talking for an age. Turns out we were taking the same train back to Bucks County. Somehow on the train, the sexual tension got real bad. I thought my hard on was going to pop open my button fly. We were both casually rubbing ourselves here and there. I finally suggested him getting off at my stop and my place, I could drive him home from there. I told him it was also Masturbation month, lol! Needless to say, when we got to my place, jeans were down, and cocks out stroking. Nice long sessions too. I drove him home in the morning!!!!! He was very expressive....a huge turn.
For me, it really depends on my partner at the time. If it is a random hookup, I am probably more direct in what is feeling good and do more of that. With a boyfriend situation, I think I go slower and let him discover what is making me feel good by my body language and not as much through words. (That doesn't mean that words don't get said...especially when your boy here is about to shoot!)
Insomnia strikes at our house...so I visit blogs.
I think that "history" plays a part as well. If it is a hook-up or among the first few times you are with a man you will both be more direct. The old joke used to be that the only bad blow job is the one you don't get. True to a point. When you are getting to know your way around a man's body you do need feedback. Whether it is as direct as issuing a command or as subtle as his moans or breathing. Get to know his body as well as your own and it will be mind blowing for both of you.
-Bryn
Post a Comment