Enjoy the Show

Sometimes an email can astound me in its simple honesty.

"New Year's eve I got a pretty sloppy drunk and made a fool of myself. My boyfriend tucked me into bed in the guest room and walked away. I woke during the night and went to the kitchen for some water and heard him sighing and moaning. I snuck to his bedroom door and listened. Then opened it as quietly as I could to peek in to him jerking off. It wasn't what I expected what I've always seen in porn - you know the fist flying up and down in some furious blur. He was slow and deliberate with his hands all over his body. This was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life and I'd love to see that with the lights on but I don't know how to tell him I spied on him."

Most women are under the impression that guys jack off with hurried strokes just to get their rocks off and get on with their day. And that's true - some of the time. But give a dude ample opportunity to enjoy himself and he'll take the time to take full pleasure in pleasuring himself.

Granted, usually the closer we get to cumming the faster we'll stroke.

But if a man wants to fully experience the ejaculation, he will keep it slow and deliberate. He'll pay attention to the sensations as they occur; the pulse of the cum rushing up and out.

You don't have to admit to the spying. But, then, how do you tell him you want to watch him? Some evening get cozy, undress him slowly and deliberately. Don't let him undress you. Then have him lie down. Place his hand on his cock and get him started and then...just say it. But don't be crude about it. You don't say you want to see him "jack off." You'd get an entirely different performance if he agreed. Instead, maybe say, "I want to watch you make love to yourself. Let me watch you."

But for god sake, don't just sit back and stare. Be engaged with it, encourage him with words, a caressing hand to his chest or thigh, or a finger lightly tracing along his neck. Once he's fully engaged in the act, you'll see what feels good to him, what brings him to the edge, and what he does to back off but still stay hard as a wooden bedpost and keep going.

Enjoy the show. And learn.