"I am what I am, And what I am needs no excuses" - from, "I Am What I Am," La Cage Aux Folles, music and lyrics by Jerry Herman. That musical, book by Harvey Fierstein, opened on Broadway in August of 1983. You'd think we would have made the full transition by now.
I've been having a great conversation via email with a Faithful Reader about the restrictions which have been put on males over the past five or six years with the advent of the Me Too movement. He laments that women are too quick to accuse with the slightest provocation. And questions why we all have to play such games when it comes to such a normal, natural thing as sex.
He asks why men are so afraid to be forthright. Even with one another, when the male's sex drive is geared more strongly embedded in our biology. Shouldn't men be able to openly and directly indicate what they want without fear of reprisal?
Well, the new generation coming into adulthood gives us hope for the future. Particularly for guys. According to this NYT article with a new label (lordy! I hate labels): Homiesexuals
As Steven Dam, a social media forecaster for Art and Commerce (a New York City talent agency) states, it's a “paradigm shift of some sort for an evolving form of masculinity that is no longer ashamed to show affection.”
That, dear Readers, is what we should strive for.
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If you live in Georgia and you haven't yet voted,
GO VOTE
15 comments:
I'm not comfortable with the equivalency of gay and feminine. I get it, yuppie gays made that assertion as part of the whole appeasement attitude of the 80s and 90s. (You could even allegedly tell if a boy would be gay if he wanted My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kids over GI Joe and Masters of the Universe. Insert joke about straight boys liking a scantily-clad bodybuilder. This is also where gems like "all women are bi; no man is" come from.)
Back in the real world, racism still exists.
As for the main topic, eh, thots of one sex kissing each other to arouse the opposite sex. Yeah, that's not new.
my knowledge of the female universe is zero. I apPrezzo, but the male hugs in the photos above!
Yes, be comfortable with yourself.
And yes: VOTE!
It's great as far as I'm concerned. That others know me and my friends jerk off together and do each other is no big deal for any of us. If my dad will pardon my language, it doesn't matter who we fuck. That's the way it should be. - R
"La cage aux folles" is an excellent film that I have seen and reviewed several times, not to mention the versions that have followed one another in the theater.
Me Too's claims are justified but too often excessive. As if they wanted to catch up with previous centuries.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
I agree with the last commenter. While im about 9-11 years older than most of my friends many of us have no problems hugging kissing and, yes...even sex with each other. And yet we all have close bonds which is really nice. When I was younger it was frowned upon to do these things unless you were dating.
I think your Faithful Reader is conflating being rape-y and being forthcoming. I am not a woman, but as a man who has had many, many men being more than forthcoming, there's a line that should not be crossed: indicating attraction is not imposing oneself on others. Especially if that 'other' has not shown any sign of attraction.
That being said, being affectionate does not detract from a man being manly/a man. People have this notion that being able to show emotion is feminine. Baloney!
XOXO
People aren’t mind readers. And then patiently listen, listen, listen.
Dear Georgia cousins, best of luck in your election, we are hoping for the best outcome.
Hugs and bisous.
No LABELS! We are humans and we love who we love and that is how it should be. Hope all is going well for you, bro. Wishing you are the very best my Dear Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Stroks, AOM
Things look good this morning... in Georgia! Fingers crossed. Your faithful reader needs to get over it. Men do need to be cautious with women when it comes to intimacy. Period. Days of assumption are over. This whole Proud Boyz thing is a reaction to the Me Too movement (although it has its roots in gamer chat lines). Misogyny will no longer be tolerated and that threatens them. F them and their cro magna ways. We're all people now... no matter how we identify, or what color our skin is, or our what our genitals look like. Get over it. Kindness, affection and love should always be the power one chooses to operate with. Not division. Not hate. Not dominance.
Is it affection or being sexual? Kissing in the heterosexual world is usually related to sex and for men, I think everything comes down to sex as that drive is in our genetic makeup: not simply the pleasure but the drive to have sex. For women I think it is different as their drive is to have children and sex is a pleasurable way to achieve that goal, but for them sex itself is not the goal.
I don't think it is a matter of heterosexual men becoming more in touch with their softer side, but men realising they can express their sexuality with other men, if you lift the suppressive taboos and confected homophobia. Its still fundamentally about sex drive.
I am disappointed though that amongst the young it seems to be driven more by creating a reaction in an audience than about an individuals sexual expression for themselves.
I think we need to start redefining sexual expression beyond the binary hetero-homo labels we have used up till now, because men have been having sex with men for a long time without necessarily being biologically sexually attracted to men. Just as many men and women do not conform to the behavioral binary template of heterosexuality but are diverse. In fact I think we should stop using binary notation altogether as it was always a parochial view of the diverse spectrum that is reality.
For men at least, I think it comes down to sex, regardless of gender of the recipient, and getting that need met: including emotional intimacy is a bonus, especially when it doesn't come with all the strings attached in a relationship with a woman where access to sex is always dependent on her emotional state, which itself is dependent on many factors completely unrelated to sex, but also used as leverage.
@ Jean, @ Upton - It looks as if Georgia may have come through for us. Now, today's Congressional Circus and Chaos in the streets will be a test for our democratic solvency. Hugs and bisous!
@Your French Patrick: So far it's just taken down bosses who use their position to extort sex from employees.
@ sixpence - not sure how you are interpreting "rape-y" from what has been said. I believe the intention is for men to feel more confident about asking for what they want: asking, not demanding or taking and being prepared to accept a "No".
I think the issue is that men are told "No" so often and frustrated in their drive, without many options, that they do resort to taking. One would think that masturbation would be an option, yet "wanking" is used to poke fun at men, this blog is testament to how much masturbation has been suppressed and if masturbation was an equivalent option to sex, then men and women would not be having sex due to the effort involved in securing it versus simply using a hand.
The more men willing to lend a hand to their fellow man, the more the male sex drive can be satisfied and thus the less frustration and tendency to try to take that which is not offered. Ignoring the homosexual community for the moment, men are dependent on finding women who will offer sex and since the genders are roughly evenly balanced, any "No" means a frustrated man or a man over a barrel. If other men become options, the chances of any man achieving satisfaction is increased and with less strings attached because the goals are different.
@ R - Language aside, I'm glad I've taught you two that value. - Dad
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