"I am recently divorced and needless to say it's been awhile since I've had any action whatsoever. I've started talking to old friends that my ex-wife didn't like and we jokingly started talking about being bate buddies. The idea of having a like minded guy friend to bond in this way with got me rock hard, a part of me knows, from reading you blog, that we just go with the flow and see how things work out. But I wonder what I should approach the evening? Just throw on some porn and see what happens? We casual stated we would play a game of strip poker. We both know that we won't rush things and only get as comfortable as both agree. Just any advice would be greatly appreciated as neither of us have had a close guy friend to experience this with."
Of all the kinds of monkey wrenches divorce throws into our lives.... But as the old meme states: After a breakup women reach for the tissues, and men reach for the lube. And there's nothing wrong with that.
You have already talked about becoming bate buddies, and I recognize that talking is a whole lot different than doing. But you've already taken the first step in admitting that you both jack off. Strip poker could certainly work in getting you more comfortable being nude together.
You might try broaching it like this: "You know I enjoy kicking back with some porn and taking my time getting off, but it sure does get lonely sitting here by myself. If you're up for it, we can get a pizza, have a couple of beers [if you both drink], and watch some porn together."
If the answer is any form of "yes," follow through with setting a time. Have the beer chilled, the pizza delivered, and the porn cued up. Have a bottle of lube, and a couple hand towels for clean-up, ready. Start out fully clothed, and the lighting dim. We all know we all look, but keep your eyes mostly on the porn. Somebody has to break the ice - right? So, maybe you'll be the first to grope your cock. Most likely, he will follow suit. Be the first to let the boner out and stroke. Don't be afraid to talk. Comment on the porn. As you both become more comfortable, any awkwardness should dissipate.
The next time will be easier and more relaxed and a lot more fun. It may even lead to some mutual stroking, which is really nice after jacking off alone for so long.
Readers, any further advice?
14 comments:
There's an interesting forum on Reddit called JObudstories, full of tales about guys getting together for that purpose. Not sure if links work in these comments, but I'll paste one here: https://www.reddit.com/r/jobudstories/
Dig through the archives a bit and you'll find lots of tips for a successful encounter. But of course, people respond in different ways, so much depends on the comfort level that is established in a first meeting.
Another way is to go commando under a pair of loose gym shorts, when you watch some porn with a buddy. Easy access and lots of room to get hard. It might help get him in the mood with the scent of sex in the air. I feel blessed that I have a partner who is EVER READY to join me for a wanker.
no advice but appreciation of your words and pics
How my roommate in college got me to do it: Shared some porn. I had already stroked with friends in high school, but he was my first college jerking partner. There were a few differences. (He's circumcised, I'm not, and from a mostly native enclave, few if any guys were.) By the end of the term, we'd dueled and done interfemoral.
I've done this MANY times when I was married to my x wife. I've done "Truth or Dare" or "Never have I ever". Strip poker is a good one obviously. After a couple of times with one friend, he asked me if I had ever done that with anyone else and we added a 3rd. I am out/proud and monogamously married to my husband at the moment but would love to host a j/o small group at our house some day. Just get comfy and don't make things go too fast. I would encourage "edging" so that neither of you get too excited that you cum too fast. If you do, keep talking and watching porn and go at it again :). Good luck!
Playing a game is a fantastic ice breaker. They may be nervous the first time, I guess, but that'll go away quickly.
I'd suggest several kinds of porn, too. Maybe Bi porn? Maybe gay porn after the straight porn?
I have no idea. I also had no idea there were forums about this but I am not surprised.
XOXO
Looks like all the basics covered. Lastly leave your work and any issues at your front door and tell your friend to do the same. Then get out the drinks (not too many) and food and relax. If you both enjoy sports, a big game might be fun to watch together first, just to break the ice. Hugs and bisous.
Men traditionally like to be doing a shared activity with another guy and watching porn together or a game that includes the additional excitement of shedding clothes progressively is a good way to start things off and the porn is an excuse to release tension.
Casually check out the other guy and appreciate that, despite any differences of proportion, his body is basically the same as yours.
Since masturbating you are using a mans hand and touching a mans cock (even though it is your own body), it provides an opportunity to segue into experiencing what another mans hand or cock feels like by suggesting you might like to experience the other person doing that to see how different it is.
Once you have broken the mutual touching ice, it's only a small further step to exploring other mutual sexual activity like a blowjob or frotage and gradually extending that to other erogenous zones, for purely research purposes of course.
Pretty soon you will be wondering why you never shared the delights of being male with a buddy before who shares a common biology and largely thinks of sex as a shared recreational pursuit: no pregnancy, lifelong commitment strings or otherworldly minds to get in the way, just enjoying shared time together.
It's still important to remember that sexually transmitted infections are still a thing, even though pregnancy isn't, so safer sex is being responsible and a good idea to read up on safer sex practices.
This topic gets me hard, too. Perhaps I have to look for some opportunity too. Great advice, mate!
Masturbating doesn't risk STIs, but be aware for any sort of contact, especially oral and anal, but even frot (fencing with your penises) can risk (for instance) HPV, gonorrhea, herpes or syphilis.
And get an HPV vaccine regardless.
I do love frot, interfemoral (between the thighs), and docking, though.
@ Adam - Thank you for the link! It will come in handy for a lot of Readers.
@ Jean - leaving the troubles at the front door is very important. Merci! Hugs and bisous.
I like the strip poker idea.
I think a gift would maybe get things off to a nice start... buy him some lube, or a sleeve. Hint, hint... and then offer to show him how they work...
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