Good morning.
Woke to a beautiful sunny morning.
"Divorced guy here in my forties dating a woman for more than a year. Saturday she told me she couldn't make it to my place so I did what most guys do I jacked off. Pretty late in the evening she showed up anyway and realized it. She's been pouting about it ever since. Do I owe her an apology?"
She's pouting because you masturbated in her absence? No, you do not owe her an apology for jacking off. Not in my opinion, anyway. No one --- men or women, single or not --- should have to apologize for doing something so normal.
If she continues to be a Debbie Downer over this, it may be time to pull out of the relationship. Because, guaranteed, there will be times that, instead of sex, you'd prefer to have a good wank.
What's your opinion, Readers?
15 comments:
Is she pouting because she didn't get to drain him herself? That might be excusable.
If she's pouting because he didn't need her to 'have fun,' she needs to grow up.
He needs to find himself a 'bate buddy'
--PaulMmn
I agree with you.
Seems like a question that didn't need to be asked. The wording "pull out of the relationship" is appropriate and should be taken literally. She doesn't deserve this man, he can do better.
Your reader's hand, his penis and his sperm belong to him and he has nothing to apologize for about them.
That said, pouting does not constitute fearful retaliations.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a great day.
She owes him an apology, not the other way around. She had said she couldn't come over. Either she's getting very possessive or she's got an inflated opinion of herself if she believed he should have waited for her. Would she have waited for him if the situation were reversed?
First he called himself as a «divorced gay man» and right there it's a slipery sloap to be going on to meet women.
In 1999 I divorced from my wife to live my real gay life and NEVER would I give any woman a chance to fool me again.
My advice would be to get away from that castrating womman and meet men which would be easier as no one liker men can understand another man.
She said she would not be there. He needed to fire a wad. So he jerked dick to relieve his need. How could he possibly owe her an apology? If she didn't want him to do it, why did she tell him she wasn't going to see him?
Women don't own mens bodies and vice versa. Women don't owe men sex and vice versa. What people do with their own bodies in their own company is up to them and they don't owe anyone an apology.
Whilst it isn't explicitly stated, I should imagine the woman is pouting because the guy wasn't interested in sex, as a result of tiring himself out with masturbation, but she was. I can understand her disappointment, but her feelings are her own problem, not his, and he doesn't exist to meet her needs or vice versa, although it is great when they mutually coincide.
Quite apart from the guy not being obliged to be interested in sex just when she is (and vice versa), she was the architect of her own misery by canceling plans that otherwise likely would have resulted in mutual coincidence.
Perhaps she will begin to realise that changing plans has potential consequences because two autonomous people are involved: other people are not merely extensions of us that exist to do our bidding whenever or whatever that is. Maybe she will also start to consider that her own needs aren't paramount in a relationship, because there is another person with their own needs involved that must be taken into consideration.
There are many anecdotes about women being upset at male masturbation as if men should only ever get sexual pleasure from a woman and only when she wants it, as though he is simply an inanimate tool for her exclusive use, that she owns.
An apology? Really? my suggestion is run fast the other direction. Hugs and bisous.
no apology needed
Apology?
I'd tell her to go get lost. How insecure when one person be???
I think the appropriate response is "Fuck off".
Is this just a sexual relationship? He said their dating. But dating includes a lot of other things than sex. So do they have sex every time their together? The way he's explaining this sounds more like a friends with benefits. Than a relationship.
Absolutely! Your body, your choice!!!
The dating sounds like a friends with benefits situation rather than dating. Taking care of each other’s physical needs is a good thing, until it’s not. Seems to me that she showed up, after canceling, to catch you cheating on her. When she found out that was not the case, she threw her hissy fit over the masterbation. It, also, seems like she might consider you both in an exclusive relationship and you don’t. It’s definitely something that needs to be discussed as well as what you (and she) can do with your bodies when the other isn’t around. The question “This is a problem for you because….” Would be a good way to get the discussion started. My suspicion is that she will either clam up or give you something irrational. Both responses are not good and reason enough to end things.
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