"I'm a straight single guy and never been in a committed relationship. I'm dating a woman for the last month or so but there's a small problem. I turn 30 this year and before there's any commitment I want to know what sex would be like with a guy. I have this fantasy of sucking a guys dick. Two questions, I guess. Do I have to tell this woman before I do it and do I have to tell any potential hookup that I'm straight but curious?"
Do you have to tell a potential hook-up you're straight and curious? I wouldn't think so. Just don't get started and then quit in the middle of something. Yes, absolutely, people can change their minds, and no means no. But, just remember what it was like when a girl or woman got you aroused and then left you with a bad case of blue balls.
What do you think, Readers? Does he have to tell them?
22 comments:
I don't know about not telling the woman he's seeing? If they are seeing other people, it's not an issue, but if they have not talked about that, it's iffy.
He does not have to tell his hookup he's straight and curious. Unless the hookup is turned up by that? Hookups are by nature anonymous, right?
XOXO
You don't have to tell her now, but before you go much farther do the test drive of another male. If you don't like it then move on and nothing lost. If you are curious for more then you should mention to her that you are curious. Don't wait too long or more problems could arise.
Oh, wow! A Virgin!
Sounds as if he's ready to take the plunge and see what a man tastes like!
Be careful! Practice safe(r) sex!
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If/when you find a man you want to try sex with, I think it would be a courtesy to at least say, "This is all new to me!" I think most partners would be eager to help you learn all about a man's body parts, and give you extra credit for trying it out.
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Tell the woman in your life... There's probably going to be a Q&A session that includes "Am I your first?" And, possibly, "You ever make it with another guy?" Those questions certainly require an honest answer. But saying, "I slept with a guy last weekend. It was great!" may have unexpected consequences. Any idea about her opinions about such things?
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--PaulMmn
I don't think he should tell them,its a mice treat.In my opinion once he sucks that first cock,he won't be able to stop there.I know I couldn't
That's a tough one. Happy weekend!
Wow... This resonates with me!
I was a MASSIVE closet case back in the day. I was engage to a woman because my DAD wanted GRANDCHILDREN (yes, that uptight). I used to get embarrassed when I caught myself with a lingering stare at a naked male body in the health club locker room. After I finally came to my senses and broke it off with her, I started telling myself, "Okay, explore being gay for... one week!". Bought a couple of male whacking magazines from a news kiosk. Just POURED over the fiction, in more ways than one... Then that turned into "Okay, just for the month of January, and THAT'S IT! BACK TO BABES!!!" Well, THAT didn't age well! Finally on the 4th of July in 1989, I looked in the mirror and yelled "YOU'RE FUCKING GAY! GET OVER IT!", I did, and never looked back. I was 27 when I came out. Like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders.
Good advice all round. As per the gay experience, if you think you might lose interest in the midst of things, then tell your hook-up first you are a curious straight guy.
I agree with everything you said, and I have nothing to add or take away from it: it's just common sense.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a marvelous day.
I agree with Pat too. Do you need to know all that from the other person? Just don’t forget to practice safe sex.
Hugs and bisous.
nunca y bajo ningún concepto. Si la cosa con ella sale bien y se prolonga la relación ella siempre lo usará contra él a la menor discusión.
Joaquinitopez - never and under any circumstances. If things go well with her and the relationship continues, she will always use it against him at the slightest argument.
Dating means different things to different people. Others will think it means exclusivity while others just see it as trying before you buy. Check where you both stand on the matter first before any other plans are made including a bit of curiosity.
As for telling the possible partner. Nope. Especially when it comes to girls. Some girls like the idea/fantasy of having a gay friend and may have followed through on it. That bit ok. If they have male friend that isn't straight and they learn that their partner has dabbled in a bit dick; shit hits the fan with them.
Most girls wouldnt care less but the other ones that would you wont know until you find yourself on the receiving end of them.
On curiousity; you might like it. Find someone who is ok with being in that situation first.
#2 is a delicious treat I’d swallow and eat !
I agree with Hooter for Owls point.
And if it's sex he wants, send him my way Pat!!! I'm more then willing to treat him well, wink!
The Kinsey Scale has exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual (straight) at each end and bisexuality between the two: I think if you are curious you currently exist within that middle section and can't yet call yourself straight.
It's a tragedy, though, that men are ashamed of any same sex interest because society is still opposed to diversity and welded to either the straight or gay polarisation.
Having a same sex interest does not necessarily make you gay: many men have sex with men without identifying with being gay.
Unless there is a specific commitment to monogamy in a relationship, the other person doesn't need to know who you have had sex with or who you are having sex with. There's too much assumption going on around the conventions of dating with little clarification. I don't see that it matters the gender you are having sex with if the issue is actually one of exclusivity.
Of course he can stop in the middle of it if he's finding he's not enjoying it. To tell him otherwise is absolutely ridiculous
My opinion is You are a grown man. An adult. You don't owe anyone any information you don't feel like disclosing. You don't HAVE to let her know your curiosities; but if it is something that is really on you mind and you strongly believe you may go through it, I would suggest sharing that thought with her.
I have a female family member that has a very thorough Q & A with her potential male partners. She asks if they ever had gay sex before, if so what did they do, who wqs the top/bottom If any man has tried sex once she probes thoroughly. she ask if they enjoyed it. if they have had sex more than one time etc. If they have tried it more than one time she don't want to go any further.
Needless to say not all women are that strict on their policies, but some women may want to know these things so that they can determine if they want to deal with the possibilities of having a man that may want to go out and experiment. And not disclosing is basically taking away their right to choose if they want to be in that type of relationship regardless of if they don't know.
As far as telling a hook up that you are straight and curious. I would strongly suggest NOT going the anonymous route A.K.A. cruising, picking someone up at a bar for a one night stand etc.
I would suggest either finding a gay men's social group. Good places to find that are meetup.com where they have events geared for people with certain interests. You can even start your own group. You can try online dating like Scruff where you could be more specific with your experience and so people can know that you are new to this. You need a man that is going to be very patient with you. This is your very first time.
So about the blue balls!
It's never really fun when you don't get what you came for. But that is where the patient guy comes in. Anyone who gets frustrated or makes you feel guilty for giving them blue balls has mainly one thing on their mind: getting their nut. Yeah it can be a bit frustrating but you should never feel guilty for changing you mind at any point ESPECIALLY if it is your first time. That is why I say anonymous sex is not the best answer for a virgin gay man.
I had a man that I specifically told not to come in my mouth hold my head until he finished. I was so mad it took everything in my power not to sock that guy in the mouth. Find someone that you can talk to over the course of a few days maybe even weeks so that you feel comfortable knowing that your boundaries are safe and protected.
First you say they need to take a break. Find a guy who attracts you, tell him it's your first time, try and satisfy your curiosity. Then return with her. No one needs to know. And you don't lie!
If you find you enjoy M-M sex, but you still want to move forward in the relationship with her, then it might be a good idea to tell her.
same opinion here!
I think most straight men secretly want to suck a cock at least once, just for the experience. I’m not turned on by straight men, but I have let a few straight friends suck my cock. They liked the experience as a once off.
@ Mark - The most detailed response and is sure to help this guy.
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