Any Avenue

"My husband has a lot of trouble reaching orgasm. He's tried everything. I talked to my gyno and those ideas didn't help. He can't even get there sometimes on his own. He gets so frustated he gives up. Then I see him pulling on his breifs real careful because his balls ache. Isn't there anything I can do to help him?"

Called "delayed ejaculation" medicalnewstoday defines it as "a difficulty or inability of a man to reach an orgasm and to ejaculate semen. The causes can be physical or psychological. if a man takes longer than 30 minutes of penetrative sex to ejaculate, despite a normal erection, it is considered delayed ejaculation."

30-minutes of continued manual stimulation (masturbation) without reaching ejaculation would also qualify. And, yes, not being able to ejaculate can cause vaso-congestion - or Blue Balls, which can be very painful.

Has he talked to his doctor? Gotten a referral to a urologist? If not, he should. Because there was good news out of Mayo Clinic only three months ago regarding just this issue. According to their report, Delayed Ejaculation, from June 18, 2020, men have shown improvement using medications approved for other illnesses, such as Parkinsons and, oddly enough, allergies:

"There aren't any drugs that have been specifically approved for the treatment of delayed ejaculation. Medications used to treat delayed ejaculation are primarily used to treat other conditions.

Medications sometimes used to treat delayed ejaculation include:

• Amantadine, a Parkinson's medication
• Buspirone, an anti-anxiety medication
• Cyproheptadine, an allergy medication"

Beyond that, if you prefer to try some things on your own before going the medication route, there are things you could try.

The glans (head) usually the most sensitive area of the cock. 

But there's this little flap, or stretch, of skin called the frenulum, located on the underside of the shaft and just below the head. Giving this direct stimulation can help. You can try to masturbate him to completion this way.

During penetration, try tightening your vaginal muscles as he withdraws so you are gently grasping his cock adding more friction.

Then there is the Male G-spot; sometimes called P-spot in deference to the Prostate. This gland is where it's at more than most straight men know or want to admit. Though many men do so when they jack off  -especially when they get close to ejaculation.

You can use a variety of ways to stimulate his prostate to help push him to the edge. Insert a finger or other object into his anus and pushing against the prostate. But wait until he's ready: Meaning, he's pumping furiously in an attempt to cum.

If he's not willing to try anal penetration (foolish man!), you can stimulate the prostate externally. Use a thumb or finger at the very root of his cock, just near the anal entrance and massage it.

Not being able to cum is frustrating and painful and, frankly, unhealthy.

He needs to pursue any avenues open to him.

Prostate Massagers

Our reader's second question was about Prostate Massagers
Prostate massage was used to treat Prostatitis (an inflammation or infection of the prostate) up until the 1960s. At that point it was abandoned as a therapy when it wasn't proved to be of significant help. It is reportedly still used in some parts of China.

In the late 1990s, some doctors resumed the practice in conjunction with antibiotics. It was again abandoned when it proved to have no real positive outcome as opposed to medicines alone.

 It's rumored that some of Hollywood's gay stars would have this done as an alternative to getting caught out as homosexuals.

As a purely sexual activity it's most likely been around for centuries. That said, prostate massagers are a popular sex toy for men. According to Wikipedia,  "prostate massagers are commonly referred to as "prostate toys", "prostate sex toys", and "anal toys". These prostate massagers are inserted into the rectum through the anus and are intended to stimulate the prostate by simple massaging or vibrating. They are used during foreplay by many couples. [The prostate is considered to be the Male G-spot and, consequently, more and more heterosexual males are open to incorporating anal play like this.]"

 There is an abundance of them available online. It depends on what you want out of one. The Eneros, and the one you inquired about, the Je Joue Nuo, are actually butt plugs designed to be left in place leaving your hands free for masturbation (or other things) once inserted. Some also vibrate to add stimulation to the prostate.

 It really is a personal preference issue. This Medium article, "The Best Prostate Massagers...," by Dainis Graveris, provides a great review of various models.

However, maybe some of my readers can offer up some suggestions.

Readers? 

Could Be

"We've been married for a bit over 3 months. I'd seen my husband with an erection while he sleeps but never ejaculate that way. It was during my period and I just don't want anything to do with sex. He woke me up moaning and talking in his sleep. I rolled over and he had his hand wrapped around his penis masturbating. I thought his other hand was on his balls, but realized he had fingers  pushing into his butt. I asked if he was awake and all I got was another mumble that sounded like "ram it to me harder." Ram it to me harder? What gives? Was he dreaming about a man fucking him?"

Could be. He wouldn't be the first heterosexual guy to have sexual fantasies about taking it up the ass. Remember the prostate is the male g-spot. Sexual dreams are pretty common - especially if a guy may have gone a while without cumming. We get those nocturnal erections and any stimulation to it can turn a dream into a sexual escapade.

Maybe your husband is fluidly bisexual. You might want to broach the subject with him. Not in any accusatory manner, but like you want to help him enjoy himself. He might surprise you and ask that you get a strap-on. Lot's of straight guys enjoy it.

As Dear Abby has said, we need to keep things spiced up in the bedroom. As Dan Savage would say, we owe it to our spouses to at least try new things. 

Assist Me

Lots of comments on yesterday's post, and only one request. French Patrick asks for a third time about the preparation for anal sex. Shame on me for not responding sooner.

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And, before all you straight guys get all "yuck! who wants to see/hear about that!" allow me to remind you that plenty of men enjoy topping their wives and girlfriends. In addition to that, my dear fellows, there is a large contingent of you who like their wives and girlfriends to treat them with strap-ons, as well. 

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Particularly as more and more of you discover the Male G-spot through masturbation.

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With all of that said, I have no experience with it to speak of. Though my first wife liked anal, we made no preparations beforehand, and I'm not sure I really knew what to do. I just took my time in fully entering, using only pre-cum for lubrication.

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So, I have asked French Patrick to assist me. I hope he is willing and able.