"I saw your post about being able to pee. I can sit except first thing inthe morning then I use the shower so I don't piss all over the place. What i can't do is piss if someone else is in the room. Doesn't matter how many urinals are betwen me and the next guy or even if there are panels separating them. I can't even pee in a stall if I know others are in the room. Is there any way get over this?"
A lot of men have what is known as "Shy bladder." Despite the need, despite the straining, it's a "no go."
I was rather forced to get over it during basic training. 40 guys had 20 minutes to piss, shower, shave, dress, and be lined up at attention out on the tarmac. You didn't have time to be embarrassed about morning wood, either.
Back in Caveman days, like any mammal, the concern for safety from attack was tantamount. I think the subconscious is still concerned with that possibility.
Readers: Can anyone offer him suggestions on how to overcome this?
21 comments:
I don't suffer from paruresis.
But I suffer from a syndrome that prevents me from having sex with someone when there is no one other than myself in the room.
Do you think that these two pathologies are of the same order and require the same treatment to overcome this?
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
I know many friends like this...and I don't think any of them got over it. But one can now use the urinal if others are in the bathroom by a trick a gave him...and that is to start counting the wall tiles on the wall in front of him. It helps to distract the mind.
I got nuthin'.
Well, whatever people say it could help me too.
I can’t pee in public with people hovering around. Can’t. Not even in gay bars.
XoXo
It is very difficult to overcome such a fear. I too was that way into my 20's. Now no matter if another guy is there. I will take it out, balls too and pee. He may have to force himself to do it.
has it ever happened to him that he has to piss urgently? at that point one pisses everywhere
It’s amazing what you can do when you have absolutely no choice, and that is something Pat learned in the military. So my suggestion is that they put themselves in a position to do this as often as they can. Hugs and bisous.
In my case it was fear of being judged in public. Even using a cubicle, I felt I was being judged for sitting down or even standing, because you could see under the door and sometimes side walls. It took a long time to reassure myself that it didn't matter how I had a piss as it was no-one else's business but my own comfort: I could have had a disability. So eventually I relaxed enough to be able to piss in a cubicle, even if there were others present in the room. However, I still can't face a urinal as it's too public.
I can't wait for all the issues surrounding public toilets (pee shy, transgender, sexual assault, etc) to be removed by having self-contained gender-agnostic facilities that are also self-cleaning. We are part of the way there with "disabled" toilets, but we need more of them and for them to be accessible by anyone.
@ Xersex -
@ Jean -
I think this is a trick that should work. Wait until you just can't wait any longer.
Mr. Shy needs to hang out in the back yard with a buddy. Both naked. And the buddy's job is to make sure Mr. Shy doesn't sneak behind the barn to take care of things. Preferably, Buddy should not let Mr. Shy take a leak unless Buddy is holding it for him. Should get over his shyness!
@ Paul - Well, I guess that could work - so long as My Shy didn't get a boner! It's not easy pissing through a hard-on. LOL
I have a shy bladder.
After pulling my dick out a couple of times so it's not still in the shrunken stage, what seems to help is bending the knees slightly, sinking down into my pelvis floor, while standing at the urinal. That feels like it's releasing tension in the perineum area.
I also lightly stroke the glans several times, like I'm telling it it's in a safe place.
I have had surgery on my testicles and urethra and piss goes in all sorts of directions. If there's a urinal I can use that but I can't stand at a toilet.
@ Joy - Stroking a finger over the glans helps me at times, too, when I have to piss but not. Like when I'm about to leave the house for a trip and want to make sure I'm empty.
I would first suggest that he should try peeping outside in the woods sometime but that may not be any easier for him.
The other thing he may try is to go to the restroom when he does not need to pee real bad and just stand there for a while and just let it happen. The worst thing is to need to go and can't.
Good luck to him.
It's performance pressure; people can tell you're not performing when they don't hear the urine stream.
What helps is taking the pressure off by making sure people can't tell if you're performing.
1) A stall does help and with time, you'll be able to go with someone else in the room. Remember, they don't know who you are, so there's no embarrassment if you stand there a while.
2) Loud music in the restroom helps, because people can't tell you're not performing.
3) Being slightly drunk helps, for obvious reasons.
4) Sometimes you'll see people flush the urinal next to you as you walk up...they have the same problem you do. The sound helps them relax.
@ Anon - Performance pressure. Yup. And afraid to have someone see his cock.
I can totally relate...At the age of 18(Still thought I was straight or I might have enjoyed this experience more LOL) i was at a "beer garden" event and the public restroom available was a single commode RR in a gas station.I am avg in penis size and definitely a grower not a shower. I had just pulled my dick out to pee when a guy walked in and instead of waiting for me to finish, stepped up to the commode next to me, elbows touching, and whips out his HUGE soft dick and lets it flop, and begins peeing. I froze. He then commented "Can't get that little fucker to work?". I think it scarred me for life as I've been pee shy ever since...and I'm now in my 60's. I can pee if a divider, but have difficulty if adjacent urinals.
I agree I think there is something about being in an awkward position and back to everything that might hinder some from being able to release the pee. I can remember when grade schoolers used to pester other boys at the urinal. Maybe some past experiences in the bathroom make it difficult to go. I guess if you have to go bad enough, it will happen.
Well, I guess most of us in the country, the first guy we pissed with was a family member or friend of the family, usually on the side of an abandoned country road, or similar. As we grow up, if you have a septic tank, you're encouraged to go outside. So, paruresis is virtually unknown.
@ Anon - 12/31. 12:50 - Yeah, I think that's what did it to me until my military days.
@ Anon - 1/2, 6:59 - Now that's the way it should be. It helps guys learn that there's nothing odd about what they've got.
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