On a website forum I frequent, a guy posted that he didn’t cum. He described having all the sensations of an ejaculation, but no shots of semen, then several minutes later felt a ‘burning’ in his bladder area. He’s experiencing what is called a Retrograde Ejaculation; the semen is going the wrong way. Not particularly harmful that anyone knows of, but it sure doesn’t give a guy the same pleasurable feeling of blasting those shots. I (along with a couple others) told him to go see an urologist.
When a guy can’t control the time of orgasm it takes a lot of the fun out of any type of sexual activity. The more it happens, the more his interest wanes. Depression can set in, leading into a downward spiral and can become the base reason for psychological erectile dysfunction. If he can’t get it up, he can’t cum too soon. Problem solved, right? Wrong, of course! Because, then, as I’ve posted before, this can cause new long-term health issues.
The key to controlling when you cum, guys, is in the way you thrust. Yes, an overly sensitive cockhead can help send you over the top – but I’ll save that issue for another post. Ever notice that when a guy stands to plow his dick into – well, whatever he’s plowing it into – it seems he can go on forever? Watch how he’s dipping his stick. It’s because he’s not engaging the root muscles and not squeezing his ass cheeks; he’s moving his entire body, he’s not actually thrusting. Squeezing the ass cheeks is akin to massaging the prostate and, in turn, tightens the root muscles. Tightening those anchor ligaments (Kegels) causes a stimulation to happen along the root of your cock and places an upward pressure along the shaft. Essentially, you are forcing the blood in your dick toward the head, engorging it further, which stretches the skin placing the nerve endings even closer to the surface. Your cockhead gets more sensitive stimulation. The combined action can make your missile fire like a Minute Man Rocket.
Learning to control these various muscles can also help if you really enjoy prolonged edging. You can flex the cockroot, squeeze the ass cheeks to bring yourself to the edge and then disengage them all to bring yourself back down from the point of no return.
And, as with all things, practice makes perfect! It’s as good an excuse as any for frequent jacking off… “I’m just practicing, honey!”
Of course, you can always share this knowledge by practicing with a friend or two...
4 comments:
You are so right. I learned a lot about orgasm and ejaculation (and they are separate and distinct events) from edging. Just the process of riding up to the edge and then coming back down so you can ride up again. On occasion when I have enogh time, I will do this enough that I will give myself a case of "blue balls", which is really just vaso-congestion in the pelvic area, but I do it to engorge my organs with as much blood and seminal fluid as possible. Needless to say, an ejaculation after that is very satisfying. Also, when you are riding the edge and want to pause for a while, try lubing up a finger and inserting into your anus and then just feel how your seminal vesicles and ampulla are when they are engorged (they are located on the anterior wall of the rectum about 3 inches in). Also, just massage the prostate some while you are there.
Another thing to remember: if you can't cum, are you taking an anti-depressant such as Prozac? This class of drugs is infamous for causing inorgasmia.
g of me and many other comments on how he liked me. Three weeks ago, he took me out for a bite to eat, then we had sex. He was able to get it uI found this blog on Google search for erectile dysfunction. I am trying to find out more about ED...only heard about it and don't know too much about it. I am a 52 year old woman with a high libido. I like a man that is 64. I have known him since I was 17, but we crossed paths again last October. We started out sending text messages to each other. He is a very good creative writer and wrote stories about sex between an Irish Knight (He's Irish) and a damsel. He told me he can get it up just thinkinp, but it didn't last long enough to finish sex. I didn't say anything about it because I know it is a sensitive issue and embarrassing for the man. He was unable to go inside of me. When we finished, he had no sperm in the condom. He usually kept in touch with me everyday two to three times a day. He sent me a sexual message, then the next one after that said, "Turning fantasy into reality!!!" I loved the fantasy stories, but I want reality and him texting that, I thought he wanted it too. So, I asked him if I could come by after his last appointment (he's a dentist) to talk to him. I made it pleasant & fun by bringing my laptop in to show him some photos. Then I asked him about turning fantasy into reality. I told him I wanted reality to (we hadn't gotten together since we first had sex three weeks ago). I asked him what that issue was he said he wanted to talk to me about last December. We had one issue where we both have multiple roommates and I asked him if that was the problem. He said yes, but then asked me if I could have visitors. I said of course I could, I invited him before. Now, I don't hear from him as much as I usually did. Even through text message I could see his humor, but now he isn't humorous. Now either he didn't really like me as he said he did or realizing being faced with performing for real, it scares him.
Guys, if you have a lady you have gotten involved with...even just talking and getting to know them early before any real relationship starts, have the guts to talk to the woman instead of just disappearing out of her life. You know what we go through? we wonder what we did wrong. We start to think "What he lied about liking me at all or am I too ugly (been told I'm like Liz Taylor) for him?" There is more to manhood that how you perform sexually like having the guts to communicate with a woman about these limitations. It is very painful to begin with a man, getting the hopes that he really likes me, then because he is too embarrassed to tell me about this slowly disappears or declines his contacts with me. A good woman will like you for what you are. If you tell a woman and she isn't supportive, drop her like a hotcake...she isn't for you. I like this man for what he is in spite of the suspected ED. I should be able to decide what the deal breakers are and ED is NOT one of them. I have known how to stimulate myself since I was 11 and have had some great orgasms, but it isn't fulfilling in itself. What I want more than that is the warmth of another person. I love to kiss...he is a great kisser. Doing it myself just as you guys talk about wacking off doesn't get the warmth of another person. Even if I could kiss myself, it wouldn't turn me on. I guess he thinks he was a failure, but he wasn't at all that night. I can get a 29 year old man...I have them hitting me up when I go to the mall, while I'm riding my bike, etc. but I didn't want that 29 year old man. Is this indeed ED that I have described? A guy can have the desire, even get it up at first, but loses erection before finishing sex? Then as a result, think they have to live in a fantasy because they can't perform without losing erection?
@ Anon - If you come back to read this response - please email me. I do not share email addresses or identities with anyone.
What you are describing can actually be a PHYSICAL problem...
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