Friday, January 5, 2018

A Sense of Self

Aging can do things to us we are not prepared for, things we do not like at all. But there are other factors at play.

"Your post today made me decide to write. My partner and I are in our mid 50s, both in decent health. Lately I've had issues with getting a hard-on. I still find him attractive and sexy, but for some reason my cock doesn't respond. I wake up with a solid erection a good portion of the time. My doctor has done a complete physical, ran my T levels, and says everything is normal for "a man of my age." Great. So what keeps me from getting it up?"

If you're in good health, fit physically, your T levels are normal, and you get morning wood (more often than not, if I read you correctly) we tend to look in other directions. Can you get a solid erection to masturbate?

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You don't say how long you have been a couple. But, it's true that love grows and lust fades; the newness wears off, arousal levels drop. Yes, even if you still think of him as "hot and sexy as fuck."
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So, I'm going to suggest you try some new things: New places to have sex, new positions and, above all, a new sense of self - which your partner can help you with.
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Have him give you a massage. Slow, soft, sensual. Let him stroke your cock, and play with your balls. No rush, no pressure to get hard, no end game in sight. Just allow yourself to lie back, empty your mind of everything but the sensations in your body, and enjoy it. You don't even need a table.
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If he doesn't get naked, all the better because this is about you rediscovering your body.
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You could also try watching some porn and jacking off together. Whether it leads to mutual touching strokes, or not, the idea is to enjoy it without any pressure to satisfy anyone but yourself.
B
Readers, any other suggestions?

7 comments:

SickoRicko said...

Nothing to add; you always give very good advice.

Patrick said...

I was going to suggest "watching porn together" too! I know that it can help. Sometimes a threesome can also help, but his partner must agree. If they have another gay couple who are good friends a foursome might be possible! Thanks for your visits. Have a good weekend.

mistress maddie said...

I agree with you. Even if one doesn't have a problem getting hard.....keep it new, exciting and fresh. Massage, back seat sex and being tied up to a bed or chair gets me rock hard. If your really secure....nothing wrong with threesome either.

Fullmoonma said...

Body Electric workshops will help you get more in touch with your erotic being. You could do these individually or as a couple. I started doing them in my 40's and as a result my 50's were my most erotic decade.

A French Patrick said...

There are many ways to break the routine for having some fun. They have to change their habits, and even the slightest delail (the place, the moment, the context, the surroundings, etc.) can be efficient. They can also have a break and live separately during a moment and they will see if their desires come back or not.

The distance is for love what the wind is for the fire: it extinguishes the small but increases the big. (Roger of Rabutin, Earl of Bussy, commonly known as Bussy-Rabutin)

As unbelievable as it may sound, we can love somebody without making love with him every five minutes without having to consult a doctor.

I have no need to change my habits, and therefore I wish you a wondrous weekend, my darlings Jean and Pat. Love, hugs and bisous.

Jean WM said...

As usual French Patrick does a good job of summing it up. I am sorry all you guys are spread all over the place and not here because I have about 10 inches of snow on all my walks and bitter cold temperatures which means it’s going nowhere.
Maybe that’s the answer, exercising together outside might improve his libido ;-))

Hugs and bisous.

Xersex said...

let me add: be a bit patient!